Having too much of a filter?

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Can having too much of a "filter' be an autism thing as much as not having one?

I've always been unsure of what to say in social situations so I tend to say absolutely nothing at all. At school I was asked multiple times if I ever spoke.

On the other hand if I get talking about whatever interest I have at the time, I pretty much forget myself and get lost in relaying all the information I've learned about the subject to whoever happens to be around (as long as I am somewhat comfortable around that person). When I'm done I usually feel like it would have been better to have not spoken, as I usually would have, because the person probably didn't even care to listen to what I said. I get ignored and/or tuned out a lot...

Anyway, can anyone else relate to having too much of a filter due to not understanding social cues and situations?

I gather that "selective mutism" is a thing Aspies commonly have, same as talking too much. Definitely I've had more trouble finding the middle ground, and both I and other Aspies I know will be either abnormally silent or woffle on and on. So yes I can relate to what you've experienced and I'm sure a lot of us can.

It's only to be expected of course that when a person talks too long then they'll get ignored and avoided. I dislike it myself when others talk too much to me. Unfortunately finding the middle ground of reciprocal conversation (saying just a sentence or two and then giving others a turn) doesn't come easy. I can stay quiet of course, but that doesn't feel very satisfying either, naturally. Aspies can be very "all or nothing" - I'm usually either bored silly by the mundane nature of the subject matter or I'm fascinated with it. I also like to discuss things in great depth and I don't like it when the subject keeps moving about before I've thought it through and shared all the ideas that occur to me. Unfortunately in many social situations people seem to prefer to just touch briefly and shallowly on a series of barely-related topics. I can fit in to a limited extent but I can't say I enjoy it very much. It feels as if I'm just trading off satisfaction for being acceptable.

I totally relate to this. I seldom say a word unless first spoken to to any of my more immediate acquaintances, and yet with the handful of people whose company I enjoy - some of whom a share my interests, others don't - I become loud and talkative to the point of a fault, even obnoxious, though always in a good humoured sort of way.

Yes. As my interests are vastly different than most people's, I keep them to myself, or share them with friends I know will understand me. I can talk about my favorite tennis players (and many of my other interests) to my tennis instructor and to people I meet at the tennis court, because they are knowledgeable people and can teach me things as well.

I know there are some conversations I may never be a part of now, such as dating and marriage, but I hope that I might be able to one day.

I am almost 60 years old, and still have a problem with both sides of this. I have suddenly found myself talking to the air after people slip away during my conversations with them. At other times, I have had people comment on how quiet I was, and ask me if something was wrong. I guess if you aren't talking you must be upset about something, and if you talk too much you are an annoying nut job. Can't win, but since I'm a non-social, hermit type of person who lives alone, I don't spend much time with other people, so I don't have to deal with this so much anymore. Instead, because of health issues, I stay home a lot and talk to myself a lot. It helps me to organize my thoughts.