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lazyflower
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26 Feb 2017, 6:31 pm

Do you tell people that you have aspergers/autism/whatever you may have? If so, who and how do you do it? How have people reacted?
And if not, then why?

I find it hard to know who to tell and when exactly to do it in the friendship/relationship. I guess I'm scared of their reaction. I've experienced people starting to treat me differently after I've told them, which I find pretty annoying.



AspieUtah
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26 Feb 2017, 6:37 pm

For me, it was easier to tell 10,000 people "maybe more (hat tip to Simon & Garfunkle)" than it would have been telling everyone who should have been told. True story, though; as a longtime LGBT activist in my state, it was, in fact, easier to get it reported in a magazine than to do it any other way.

Still, when I meet someone who didn't read the memorandum, it becomes a little bit of a conundrum about how to tell them. If they ask me "what's new?" I tell them about my autism. If they stick to weather, sports and workplace dramas, I leave it off the table for now.

The reason I wanted to tell everyone was that I didn't want it to creep out publicly without my own little spin on the news. If that had happened, all kinds of variations about my disclosure would have been imagined.


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Diagnosed in 2015 with ASD Level 1 by the University of Utah Health Care Autism Spectrum Disorder Clinic using the ADOS-2 Module 4 assessment instrument [11/30] -- Screened in 2014 with ASD by using the University of Cambridge Autism Research Centre AQ (Adult) [43/50]; EQ-60 for adults [11/80]; FQ [43/135]; SQ (Adult) [130/150] self-reported screening inventories -- Assessed since 1978 with an estimated IQ [≈145] by several clinicians -- Contact on WrongPlanet.net by private message (PM)


SaveFerris
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26 Feb 2017, 6:47 pm

I'm waiting for a diagnosis so I have no idea how it will go. If I have ASD obviously I'll tell my GF and apart from that it's no-one elses business although I do have an annoying habit of saying too much in social situations when I've run out things to say - NEVER tell me a secret as I can't help myself and might accidently blurt it out


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BettaPonic
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26 Feb 2017, 7:42 pm

I don't tell people.



ArielsSong
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27 Feb 2017, 10:37 am

I have told close friends and family.

There were a few comments of "You don't seem autistic. It must be mild."

There were a few "I probably am, too."

There was one "I don't think you are. You seem normal to me."

And a few people that just accepted it.

But whatever the response, I've not been treated differently after those initial comments.

I would love for it to be more out in the open, but organically and slowly rather than a big announcement on my part. And I've never found a way to do that.

I wear a piece of jewellery with the autism jigsaw ribbon, to hopefully plan the seed in people's minds when I meet them, and I believe it's worked a few times. Nobody has ever outwardly commented on it (aside from a cashier in a shop that I think was also autistic), but I notice that a couple of friends that don't know I'm autistic have talked about autism in a way that suggests that they've probably worked it out. I hope that by wearing the jewellery, it's in people's minds earlier in the friendship and doesn't come as a big announcement later.



Lunella
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27 Feb 2017, 10:46 am

I tell most people who I think are understanding people, I don't bother telling people who seem ignorant or otherwise judgemental.

A few times in the past few years I've just outright asked a few of my friends if they had aspergers because my aspiedar is on point and I've freaked myself out a bit cause they ended up being aspies and it's happened more than 5 times now. :|


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Jacoby
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27 Feb 2017, 11:29 am

No I do not go around telling people, I do not believe most people are educated enough to know what I am talking about and to not think ignorantly of me after the fact.



EzraS
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27 Feb 2017, 12:54 pm

I'm so obvious I don't have to walk that tight rope thank god.



Hippygoth
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27 Feb 2017, 12:59 pm

I've told my family, my friends and the people I work with. All good so far, no one has treated me any differently.



AspieUtah
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27 Feb 2017, 12:59 pm

EzraS wrote:
I'm so obvious I don't have to walk that tight rope thank god.

Hehe. :)


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Diagnosed in 2015 with ASD Level 1 by the University of Utah Health Care Autism Spectrum Disorder Clinic using the ADOS-2 Module 4 assessment instrument [11/30] -- Screened in 2014 with ASD by using the University of Cambridge Autism Research Centre AQ (Adult) [43/50]; EQ-60 for adults [11/80]; FQ [43/135]; SQ (Adult) [130/150] self-reported screening inventories -- Assessed since 1978 with an estimated IQ [≈145] by several clinicians -- Contact on WrongPlanet.net by private message (PM)


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27 Feb 2017, 1:21 pm

No, rarely. I find that the Asperger's isn't the thing that matters, it's whether or not people care that I'm kind of offbeat, can be either brash or sensitive, and am not good at reading surface social cues. What matters is that friends know I'm bad at seeing if people are flirting with me and don't think it makes me stupid, and like me just as much when I'm feeling like I can't handle even a video game as when I'm feeling confident. The labels themselves confuse people.



Leahcar
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27 Feb 2017, 1:51 pm

I don't go up to people and say, "Hey I'm Leah and I'm autistic" or say it out of the blue. It's not one of the first things I'd say when introducing myself.
But whenever people talk about autism with me, I have no problem telling them that I have it, as it's something I can't really hide anyway - but only once they get to know me a little first.


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JoelFan
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27 Feb 2017, 2:13 pm

Depends on the situation, Normally I have a "Need to know" rule meaning if my actions could be seen as off or sometimes inappropriate that could have a negative effect in the environment that I am in then yes, I would tell the person before hand (e.x.) my supervisor, select co-workers, doctor(s), a few select relatives. that what I may say or do may be inappropriate, but I do not intend it to be (or) that there isn't any malice behind [xyz]
But normally I tend to stay quiet, as I like to try to blend in as much as possible.


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nephets
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27 Feb 2017, 2:39 pm

Yes, I concur with Joel, only tell people you absolutely have to. Personally, a work colleague complained that I was odd (apparently I can talk too much), so I had to tell my Manager, whose response was on the lines that he'd assumed as much. The colleague who complained still does not know. Quite a lot of people have an irrational fear of mental health problems and for them you will be labelled in their little brains as 'mad'; never tell anyone you can't trust.



JakeASD
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27 Feb 2017, 3:16 pm

My communication difficulties are so severe that even uttering the words, "I am autistic" is rather difficult.


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underwater
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27 Feb 2017, 4:59 pm

Sometimes I fantasize about a world where a person could share this sort of information and everything would be ok, and everyone would understand, and everyone would be nice.


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