Feel anger towards society for treating us like garbage

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autistlivesmatter
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22 Mar 2017, 8:20 pm

It doesn't matter what avenue of life. We are treated like garbage by neurotypicals and we are blamed for it (victim blaming).

- Peers openly mock us because of our poor social skills or they make fun of our life situation (if you are unemployed, live with your parents, don't drive, etc). Especially on the internet where they feel that anonymity gives them license to be a complete as*hole.

- Whenever we are bullied by others, we are told it's our fault and to "suck it up", "man up", "grow a thicker skin". "Oh did I trigger you?" I really hate that line.

- When we are discriminated against in the work place (the interviewer already rejects us in their mind when they see how socially awkward we are in the interview. And the difficulty of getting a job leads to work history gaps. Which makes interviewers discriminate against us even more). We are told that it is our fault. We just don't work hard enough. That using autism as an excuse is a cop-out, etc. Let's completely ignore the fact that due to automation and outsourcing, the employment rate is down to record levels (maybe not as low as 2009 peak recession levels). And the reason why the unemployment rate improved is because the chronically unemployed are being moved off the unemployment rolls onto the disability rolls (particularly people with chronic back/knee/etc. problems, mental health issues, autism, diabetes, cancer, etc). Or people just plain give up looking for work because they can't get a job and now they are no longer unemployed in the statistics.

- Those of us who manage to get a job are often underpaid (often times due to workplace discrimination against autistic people or a poor economy). And we are told it's our fault. Even though back in the 1960s the minimum wage used to be $21USD/hr adjusted for inflation in 2016 dollars. The price of the basic essentials (housing, food, electricity, gas, health care, tuition, etc.) went up during this period and wages have not kept pace at all and stagnated.

- Women think we are losers because of our social awkwardness or our life situation (being unemployed, having a poor paying job, living with parents, etc.) and mock us.

I also notice that a lot of autistic people on here actually think we deserve the treatment we get because lots of autistic people are self-loathing by nature. Our self-loathing nature doesn't do us any favours. This is why for every autistic guy who has a strong sense of feel wronged by society and seeks retribution (ie. Adam Lanza, Elliot Rodger), there's 100 autists who blow their brains out.

With the way that we are treated by society, why are we shocked that a small minority of autistic adults get thrown over the edge and end up killing a bunch of people? And far, far more of us kill ourselves and no one gives a s**t. Neurotypicals want us to kill ourselves. Good riddance they think. I'm not excusing what Adam Lanza, Elliot Rodger, etc. did but society brought that upon themselves by not doing anything to address our grievances. Just like how I don't excuse what Muslim terrorists have done in France or what some #blacklivesmatter vigilantes have done. Yet society continues to ignore the discrimination that happens to Muslims in the Paris suburb ghettos and continues to ignore the police brutality against unarmed young black males. The difference between us and blacks and Muslims is that we are poorly organized. We have no real advocates. Autism Speaks is BS. It's very frustrating. No one is going to care if we kill ourselves. So sometimes I think "thank God for (the latest autistic mass murderer). That will teach those neurotypical bullies a lesson." Much like how disillusioned Muslim youths may feel "thank God for ISIS" or disillusioned black youth may think "thank God for that cop killer."

I know it's not politically correct to admit this. But I get so angry with this society and we are not allowed to express that anger because "oh anger is dangerous, you're probably going to be the next Elliot Rodger. We need to lock you up. Tee hee hee."



ZombieBrideXD
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22 Mar 2017, 8:25 pm

Ive been bullied and ailienated for being autistic but i guess i never really saw it as "NT" vs autistic since its so rare to meet someone who is TRULEY Neurotypical.

However, being a person of colour, im more upset about racism than poor treatment of autistic people. I guess its because i dont know why.


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autistlivesmatter
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22 Mar 2017, 8:32 pm

ZombieBrideXD wrote:
Ive been bullied and ailienated for being autistic but i guess i never really saw it as "NT" vs autistic since its so rare to meet someone who is TRULEY Neurotypical.

However, being a person of colour, im more upset about racism than poor treatment of autistic people. I guess its because i dont know why.
Nice to see a fellow Canadian. What ethnicity are you? A lot of people pretend like Canada doesn't have any racism. Which is ridiculous.



ZombieBrideXD
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22 Mar 2017, 8:41 pm

autistlivesmatter wrote:
ZombieBrideXD wrote:
Ive been bullied and ailienated for being autistic but i guess i never really saw it as "NT" vs autistic since its so rare to meet someone who is TRULEY Neurotypical.

However, being a person of colour, im more upset about racism than poor treatment of autistic people. I guess its because i dont know why.
Nice to see a fellow Canadian. What ethnicity are you? A lot of people pretend like Canada doesn't have any racism. Which is ridiculous.


Im first nations (Mikmaq) and french mix. Yeah id say canadian racism is better than american racism but hate is still hate and its discusting.


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autistlivesmatter
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22 Mar 2017, 8:56 pm

ZombieBrideXD wrote:
autistlivesmatter wrote:
ZombieBrideXD wrote:
Ive been bullied and ailienated for being autistic but i guess i never really saw it as "NT" vs autistic since its so rare to meet someone who is TRULEY Neurotypical.

However, being a person of colour, im more upset about racism than poor treatment of autistic people. I guess its because i dont know why.
Nice to see a fellow Canadian. What ethnicity are you? A lot of people pretend like Canada doesn't have any racism. Which is ridiculous.


Im first nations (Mikmaq) and french mix. Yeah id say canadian racism is better than american racism but hate is still hate and its discusting.
First Nations live in the worst conditions in Canada. No one wants to create jobs in a First Nations community. First Nations were managing just fine before the white settlers colonized them but they had their way of life stripped from them. It's hard to feel like you're discriminated against for being autistic when a large percentage of natives are unemployed, in low wage jobs, dropped out of school or incarcerated to begin with. In my case my dad has the attitude of "your siblings are successful, why can't you be successful? You're lazy." My dad doesn't even believe that autism exists. Even though I have a diagnosis. When you are victim blamed by your own family, you feel like you have no one.



citoyenlambda
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23 Mar 2017, 1:35 am

You're justified in feeling anger, but unfortunately we are a subset (autists) of a subset (developmental disorder sufferers, or "differently abled" if this inane euphemism feels any better for you) of a subset (the generally handicapped). We can piss and moan as loud as we can but society will not budge. We are not women, who are 50% of the population, or even the LGBT, who are ~5%. Are we even 0.5%? Doubtful.

We're alone. We're saved from the biggest blows of the hate bat thanks to the fact that laughing at the "differently abled" is tasteless in polite company. Of course, this changes nothing to the stereotypes and preconceptions people have of us as either slightly quirky savants like Benedict Cumberbatch's Sherlock or homicidal maniacs who are prone to rage like Adam Lanza (which are encouraged by the newfound popularity of autists in media). It merely internalizes them.

I'm also Canadian, so I have access to numerous programs designed to somewhat compensate for my autism as well as tribunals before whom I can drag egregious offenders to be judged according to the application of anti-discrimination laws if I so choose. That's honestly all we can ask for. Women are 50% of the population yet they are also victims of stereotypes and preconceptions. And actually, so are men. And so are blacks, and Asians, and even whites. I suppose humans are wired that way.

I've long since given up. People will be people, and a lot of people are crappy, so yeah, they will think of us in the stereotypes they know of, and those are not always flattering. And even if they don't know that you're neurodiverse, they can smell it on you. They will reject you and hate you and discriminate against you. There is nothing we can do about this. No amount of sensitization or outreach or even civil or criminal penalties will force people to abandon their instinctive fear of the Other, and make no mistake, that is exactly what we are. We're the kids running after the bus but never catching up with it.

At one point it's time to stop running. You know as well as I do, we'll never get inside. And while we run after the bus, we're sticking to its route only, while there are a million roads and forests and fields all around us. As much as we think otherwise, we're not bound to follow that bus for eternity. As I always recommend, it's better to learn to accept that this is what we are and explore one of these neglected streets. This is our cross to bear. It sucks, and it's unfair, but it is what is it.

Anger devours. Disconnection from society (as much as I am able under my life circumstances) is the best solution I have, it's the only way I can think of not to be miserable long-term. I do my own thing and I don't much care if the guys on the bus laugh at me for it, even though now and then I do catch myself wishing them to crash into a ditch. It's always a work in progress.

I always recommend to other autists to look into simple living and off-grid living. If you're able, why not get yourself a small homestead that you power yourself (with solar panels, for example), where you hunt, fish and grow your own food, get your own water, etc? Become self-reliant in order not to have to rely on the NTs for as much as you can. Get yourself a dog for companionship and utility if you like animals. Sounds like the perfect life to me, and it's a goal I'm working towards. But as we're all individuals, this is not a one-size-fits-all thing.


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autistlivesmatter
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23 Mar 2017, 2:10 am

citoyenlambda wrote:
You're justified in feeling anger, but unfortunately we are a subset (autists) of a subset (developmental disorder sufferers, or "differently abled" if this inane euphemism feels any better for you) of a subset (the generally handicapped). We can piss and moan as loud as we can but society will not budge. We are not women, who are 50% of the population, or even the LGBT, who are ~5%. Are we even 0.5%? Doubtful.

We're alone. We're saved from the biggest blows of the hate bat thanks to the fact that laughing at the "differently abled" is tasteless in polite company. Of course, this changes nothing to the stereotypes and preconceptions people have of us as either slightly quirky savants like Benedict Cumberbatch's Sherlock or homicidal maniacs who are prone to rage like Adam Lanza (which are encouraged by the newfound popularity of autists in media). It merely internalizes them.

I'm also Canadian, so I have access to numerous programs designed to somewhat compensate for my autism as well as tribunals before whom I can drag egregious offenders to be judged according to the application of anti-discrimination laws if I so choose. That's honestly all we can ask for. Women are 50% of the population yet they are also victims of stereotypes and preconceptions. And actually, so are men. And so are blacks, and Asians, and even whites. I suppose humans are wired that way.

I've long since given up. People will be people, and a lot of people are crappy, so yeah, they will think of us in the stereotypes they know of, and those are not always flattering. And even if they don't know that you're neurodiverse, they can smell it on you. They will reject you and hate you and discriminate against you. There is nothing we can do about this. No amount of sensitization or outreach or even civil or criminal penalties will force people to abandon their instinctive fear of the Other, and make no mistake, that is exactly what we are. We're the kids running after the bus but never catching up with it.

At one point it's time to stop running. You know as well as I do, we'll never get inside. And while we run after the bus, we're sticking to its route only, while there are a million roads and forests and fields all around us. As much as we think otherwise, we're not bound to follow that bus for eternity. As I always recommend, it's better to learn to accept that this is what we are and explore one of these neglected streets. This is our cross to bear. It sucks, and it's unfair, but it is what is it.

Anger devours. Disconnection from society (as much as I am able under my life circumstances) is the best solution I have, it's the only way I can think of not to be miserable long-term. I do my own thing and I don't much care if the guys on the bus laugh at me for it, even though now and then I do catch myself wishing them to crash into a ditch. It's always a work in progress.

I always recommend to other autists to look into simple living and off-grid living. If you're able, why not get yourself a small homestead that you power yourself (with solar panels, for example), where you hunt, fish and grow your own food, get your own water, etc? Become self-reliant in order not to have to rely on the NTs for as much as you can. Get yourself a dog for companionship and utility if you like animals. Sounds like the perfect life to me, and it's a goal I'm working towards. But as we're all individuals, this is not a one-size-fits-all thing.
Yea I think the issue is that we are a minority of a minority of a minority... No one gives a s**t about us until one of us shoots up a school (Adam Lanza, Chris Harper-Mercer, Cho and many others), college town (Elliot Rodger), mosque (Alexander Bissonette) or Goodlife Fitness (George Sodini). We have no political influence. White liberals don't even bother to virtue signal for us like they do blacks and Muslims.

This is why I think a lot of young disenfranchised autistic men joined the "alt-right" and voted for Donald Trump. Though a Republican who wants to dismantle the social safety net is not exactly a good thing for autistic people. In a society that has shifted away from agriculture and manufacturing to the service sector - autistic people are woefully out of place. Unemployment is extremely high among autistic people. So from a self-preservation standpoint, it would make more sense for the autistic person to vote for the candidate who is going to give us the "autismbux" or "NEETbux" so to speak. We don't fit in the workplaces. We aren't equipped with the social skills necessary to work in a service economy. But it's not like the liberals were doing anything for us either. The Clintons made cuts to welfare. The liberals in Canada made cuts to welfare. So these autistic guys who voted for Trump just wanted to throw a brick through the "establishment"). The disenfranchised autists making up the alt-right that you see on 4chan think that feminists, blacks and Muslims are given far more attention by the liberals than autistic people are. But at the end of the day, it's just virtue signalling. Blacks and Muslims are still disenfranchised even though racists are publicly shamed and doxed on Twitter or whatever.

African-Americans make up like 14% of the United States and it's not politically correct to be openly racist. People lose their jobs and destroy their reputations over being racist. But in reality the social justice warrior stuff coming from white liberals is just virtue signalling. The reality of the situation is that unarmed young black males are getting shot by cops. Poverty and unemployment are major issues in the black community. No one is actually doing anything to make their lives better. And then they point to the president (or former president) and say "he's black, why can't you get your s**t together?"

Same with the Muslims in France. They make up over 10% of the population there. But they are still trapped in poverty and unemployment in the Banlieues (the ghettoized suburbs). They are routinely discriminated against for employment. Businesses don't want to set up shop in the banlieues.

Canada is extremely Pro-Social Justice Warrior. We have a Social Justice Warrior Prime Minister. Yet our First Nations are treated like garbage. None of the businesses want to invest in their communities. They just want to virtue signal. The only thing that matters to our politicians is money and power. The only thing that matters to people is hedonism. And when I see the normies get their just desserts, I can't help but think "those fuckers deserved it."



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23 Mar 2017, 2:47 am

people (mostly...) don't pick on autistics because they're autistic.

people pick on people who do stupid things, or act out, or make themselves "targets", and a typical autistic lack of TOM and social awareness does not help with that.

i do not associate myself with aspies/autists as whole because WP is the only place where i can interact with them, and only recently has this been a sizeable part of my life. recently my best friend is one, but my entire life i have been surrounded by and connected to "NTs" so this "we" stuff doesn't resonate with me.

if you want someone to care about your life when you off yourself (besides your family or whatever), do something with it. this goes for EVERYONE.

autistlivesmatter wrote:
Canada is extremely Pro-Skeleton Warrior. We have a Skeleton Warrior Prime Minister.


i have a browser extension that automatically changes "s j w" to "Skeleton", so seeing "skeleton warrior" made me laugh inside.


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autistlivesmatter
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23 Mar 2017, 2:52 am

Kiprobalhato wrote:
people (mostly...) don't pick on autistics because they're autistic.

people pick on people who do stupid things, or act out, or make themselves "targets", and a typical autistic lack of TOM and social awareness does not help with that.

i do not associate myself with aspies/autists as whole because WP is the only place where i can interact with them, and only recently has this been a sizeable part of my life. recently my best friend is one, but my entire life i have been surrounded by and connected to "NTs" so this "we" stuff doesn't resonate with me.

if you want someone to care about your life when you off yourself (besides your family or whatever), do something with it. this goes for EVERYONE.
This kind of mentality is used to justify bullying us. We are socially awkward therefore we deserve to be bullied? It's so typical for victims of bullying to be blamed for their bullying. And typical of autistic people, due to their self-loathing nature, to feel they deserve it.



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23 Mar 2017, 6:32 pm

*sigh* Yet another thread NT-guilting and blaming society collectively for being an oppressor. Is it really as bad as you may think?



autistlivesmatter
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23 Mar 2017, 6:40 pm

K_Kelly wrote:
*sigh* Yet another thread NT-guilting and blaming society collectively for being an oppressor. Is it really as bad as you may think?
Is this supposed to be a support forum for people who have autism or what? Don't you minimize my experiences as an autistic person.



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23 Mar 2017, 9:10 pm

Yeah, I too think that the only answer is for us to simply remove ourselves from society. The problem is, that's quite difficult in today's world. The thing that apparently prodded the Unabomber to start bombing people is that no matter how deep in the forests of Montana he hiked, he found garbage and other indications of the presence of "civilized" humans. He eventually concluded that technological civilization would utterly destroy the planet, and the only option he had was to strike back in the only way that would shake that civilization to its core. And that was in the 70s. Today, if you try to vanish in the forest, you will-at the point of a loaded AK wielded by somebody tending a weed plantation or cooking meth.

Buying a plot of land is extremely expensive, and then you have to avoid the losers in the main town/county seat who have all sorts of crazy rules as to how you should use your land. Even worse, some land subdivisions now have homeowner associations, which are just like the ones in suburbia, full of old ladies with nothing better to do with their time than run your life for you. And then a lot of sellers won't tell you about the HOA so they can shove their white elephant on you. I bought land on ebay I thought was a great deal-until I found out about the HOA. Now I can't get rid of it. So, the greater society would rather just keep twisting that knife, while making it impossible to escape.



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23 Mar 2017, 9:14 pm

I feel a bit of that anger from time to time, but I turn it into positive energy. The anger intensifies during the month of April, because of an organization of Hitler's reincarnations.


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24 Mar 2017, 2:40 am

Part of internalizing stigmatization is believing all the false s**t said to the stigmatized group.

There have been a whole bunch of mass shooters named as autistic in this thread. Only one, Adam Lanza definitively was. As for the rest, their questionable associations with autism are mostly a media creation. I have put up the appropriate links a number of times and am just not in the mood to do it again. The other questionable idea is that we are only 1 to 2 percent of the population. I have been guilty as anybody of parroting that "fact".

We have every right to be angry. The idea that anger should be stamped out is wrong. It is as legitamite emotion as any other. The question is do we do what comes naturally use that anger destructively, or use it constructively?


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24 Mar 2017, 5:30 am

autistlivesmatter wrote:
It doesn't matter what avenue of life. We are treated like garbage by neurotypicals and we are blamed for it (victim blaming).


I was bullied in middle school, but I would say most neurotypical adults and classmates I have had since grade 10 treated me pretty well. I think you may need to work harder to gain access to a better, more accepting group of people to surround yourself with?


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24 Mar 2017, 8:19 am

autistlivesmatter wrote:
Women think we are losers because of our social awkwardness or our life situation (being unemployed, having a poor paying job, living with parents, etc.) and mock us.


citoyenlambda wrote:
We are not women, who are 50% of the population


What is with the insinuations that none of us are women? 8O