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firemonkey
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31 Mar 2017, 7:39 pm

I get the impression that maybe people here think I am. I may not always phrase things perfectly to some people's tastes but that doesn't mean I'm not seeking a response to something I post.
It surely shouldn't be about wanting something to be phrased in a way you think is just right before you'll consider responding or should it?

I had hoped I might belong here but I get the impression it's just another place I don't really fit in or belong.

By the way the question mark at the end of the title indicates the need for a response.



kraftiekortie
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31 Mar 2017, 7:41 pm

That doesn't make sense.

Why would we think you're an interloper?

It's not like you're trying to take over anything.



firemonkey
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31 Mar 2017, 7:53 pm

I had hoped this was somewhere I fitted in but it increasingly seems like I don't.



naturalplastic
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31 Mar 2017, 8:14 pm

I havent seen anyone be hostile to you. So I dont get what you're talking about.



kraftiekortie
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31 Mar 2017, 8:20 pm

Nobody "fits in" here.

We have to "fit" ourselves.



naturalplastic
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31 Mar 2017, 8:23 pm

Exactly.



antnego
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31 Mar 2017, 8:26 pm

I think it's important to express what it means to "fit in."

Are you wanting people to respond more to your posts? Are you looking for a specific type of feedback when you post?

I agree with the poster that said it's best to "fit yourself." You don't need to look for approval. Only you can decide if you're okay or not; it's not up to anybody else.


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SaveFerris
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31 Mar 2017, 8:58 pm

I don't feel I fit in here either FM but for me it's because I don't have a Dx of ASD , I feel I am in no position to offer anyone any advice about either ND or NT issues because I have no idea where I fit. I will tag along here until I get my assessment and if I don't have ASD I see no reason for me to stay ( in the Autism section ) as this is not a social club for me , it's purely for research. Personaly I think you may be having self esteem issues as I have seen no evidence of anyone insinuating that you don't belong here. I always read your threads but sometimes having nothing to add or it doesn't apply to me.


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kraftiekortie
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31 Mar 2017, 9:12 pm

This Site is not solely for people with autism. It's for people who have a positive interest in autism.



firemonkey
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31 Mar 2017, 9:16 pm

@SaveFerris I too am one of the undxed. I have spent a lifetime looking for something that explains me and where I can fit in. The nearest that explains things after much online research is NVLD and ASD in that order.
However coming here and being in an actual ASD community I am just not sure. Hence the feeling of being an interloper or intruder(if you prefer).

You are right about the self esteem. I am hyper aware of my social difficulties from when, as a child and especially a teenager, I was rejected and ostracised for being physically and socially awkward.

I seem to be the sort that looks from the outside at all the people inside the house but can never get indoors.



EzraS
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31 Mar 2017, 9:29 pm

Firemonkey and SaveFarris, is this an early April Fool's joke? You're both are two of the best posters here.



SaveFerris
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31 Mar 2017, 9:37 pm

firemonkey wrote:
@SaveFerris I too am one of the undxed. I have spent a lifetime looking for something that explains me and where I can fit in. The nearest that explains things after much online research is NVLD and ASD in that order.
However coming here and being in an actual ASD community I am just not sure. Hence the feeling of being an interloper or intruder(if you prefer).

You are right about the self esteem. I am hyper aware of my social difficulties from when, as a child and especially a teenager, I was rejected and ostracised for being physically and socially awkward.

I seem to be the sort that looks from the outside at all the people inside the house but can never get indoors.


Thats one of the great things about forums , no-one can really tell you are socially awkward so I doubt anyone here thinks that. Your feelings about being an intruder are just that - feelings. There is no evidence to back it up , it's just your perception of things are a bit off . And besides the only person who can call rightfully call you an intruder is Alex Plank :) . Whatever your feeling , it should pass , you may just be having a bad day or feelng under the weather. Yesterday I was ready to kill myself over an argument , today is much better. Everyone has an off day or two.


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SaveFerris
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31 Mar 2017, 9:42 pm

EzraS wrote:
Firemonkey and SaveFarris, is this an early April Fool's joke? You're both are two of the best posters here.


Surely that is an April Fool joke.

Now you got me thinking , what have I read in the past 3 hours here and it was complete bollox


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burnt_orange
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31 Mar 2017, 11:31 pm

I don't exactly feel like I fit in either, in the sense that I have no friends here. Still though, I feel like I belong because of ASD and many of my problems are the same. Sometimes people don't respond to my posts either. You are not alone. I have read some of the stuff you have written and I think it is valid and you have good things to say.

I don't think anyone is an interloper here.

Sometimes I think the young people here have more fun and more in common and try to socialize a little more than the older people. I am also not diagnosed. It's a different experience for us than for the younger ones who grew up knowing what they were and having therapies for it.



firemonkey
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31 Mar 2017, 11:43 pm

burnt_orange wrote:
. It's a different experience for us than for the younger ones who grew up knowing what they were and having therapies for it.


I do wonder whether having things recognised when I was a teenager, and thus having therapies could have made a big difference.
It's hard to think at 60 how things could still change/improve.

I guess I need recognition and awareness that it's not just bloody mindedness and passive aggressiveness ,even if fixing things is now a step or two too far.



Benjamin the Donkey
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01 Apr 2017, 12:37 am

firemonkey wrote:
I do wonder whether having things recognised when I was a teenager, and thus having therapies could have made a big difference.
It's hard to think at 60 how things could still change/improve.

Same for me. I'm in my 50s and regret that till I was almost 40 I had no idea why I was different and why some things were so hard for me. I wasted a lot of time and effort that I'll never get back. I'm trying to make up for all that now, but it's not easy, and sometimes resentment over the past really gets me down.


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