Can you handle no string attached relationships?
One thing I suspect about my ASD diagnosis is that I enjoy casual sex and no string attached relationships, and I actually feel much more at ease that way compared to dealing with people that I am supposed to be close to. I guess I enjoy faking to be social and fun for several nights and then getting rid of the person before a connection develops to the point of making me feel the need to be authentic. I have always parted with my sexual partners within 3 nights, even those that share lots of my views and with whom I know I may end up being friends. I think I fear emotional commitment and all the hassle that would bring, but sometimes I regret ditching a partner that I like for the sake of avoiding possible attachment.
I wonder if anyone else on the spectrum is like me. I wonder if anyone else on the spectrum enjoys no string attached (NSA) sex/relationships at all. I wonder if I am actually on the spectrum at all despite the diagnosis because I seem to be so different from all the other people on the spectrum who are seemingly content with several close relationships and hate superficial social interactions.
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Cheers,
HelloWorld314
p.s. English is not my native language, please correct me if I have made any mistakes. I would really appreciate it. Thanks:)
I wonder if it means some kind of subliminal something that all my cat toys have strings attached and all my kites have strings attached?
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"There are a thousand things that can happen when you go light a rocket engine, and only one of them is good."
Tom Mueller of SpaceX, in Air and Space, Jan. 2011
Lol no, it is not literally having strings attached to people. It is fancy term used to describe casual sexual relationships.
_________________
Cheers,
HelloWorld314
p.s. English is not my native language, please correct me if I have made any mistakes. I would really appreciate it. Thanks:)
Knew that, was in the mood to be amusing.
Maybe I like my relationships like my toys?
But wait, my trains don't have strings attached. Hmm.
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"There are a thousand things that can happen when you go light a rocket engine, and only one of them is good."
Tom Mueller of SpaceX, in Air and Space, Jan. 2011
I see, I am thinking of developing long term non-monogamous relationships as well if that is what you mean. Short terms are lots of fun and I get to collect all sorts of people, but I do worry about STDs. I am worried about possibly developing feelings for my long term partners though, the last thing I need is to get myself into an emotional crush thingy lol.
_________________
Cheers,
HelloWorld314
p.s. English is not my native language, please correct me if I have made any mistakes. I would really appreciate it. Thanks:)
I wonder if anyone else on the spectrum is like me. I wonder if anyone else on the spectrum enjoys no string attached (NSA) sex/relationships at all. I wonder if I am actually on the spectrum at all despite the diagnosis because I seem to be so different from all the other people on the spectrum who are seemingly content with several close relationships and hate superficial social interactions.
I'm probably not quite on the spectrum, the traits I have are too subclinical for it and have too few traits for it. I'm on the BAP "spectrum" at most. Anyway, casual sex is fine by me too but I don't see the need to limit it to 3 nights. I'm probably more extreme than you with my boundaries in terms of that, I can continue having sex with a guy even if they are trying to affect me emotionally or are trying to be my friend, as long as I clearly know that I don't want them for whatever reason.
I do have a male friend who also isn't against having sex and I'm ok with it too but the one thing I'm not ok with is fully opening up to him and tell him about my most private things. We really are very good friends and he wants me to fully trust him and be fully open with him but I won't do this last bit of opening up because that would conflict even with my boundaries. So it's umm, an interesting FWB.
I also see no need to fake being social and fun. I'm either feeling actually social and fun because the partner is able to involve me in things like that or not gonna force it. I'm not able to force it anyway. This is unrelated to whether I'll actually have sex with the person.
I do prefer close relationships otherwise, I don't like the idea of dumping someone just because it might become too close. Otoh, for some reason I have not been able to feel enough with anyone so far in a supposedly romantic relationship so emotional commitment is not something I have truly been capable of doing so far with a guy, but I wish to be able to. Maybe one day...
Anyway. For the rest of your post. Look up avoidant dismissive attachment style.
I see, I am thinking of developing long term non-monogamous relationships as well if that is what you mean. Short terms are lots of fun and I get to collect all sorts of people, but I do worry about STDs. I am worried about possibly developing feelings for my long term partners though, the last thing I need is to get myself into an emotional crush thingy lol.
We could not be any more different... Though I wouldn't call emotional commitment an "emotional crush". That's weird wording for it.
I see, I am thinking of developing long term non-monogamous relationships as well if that is what you mean. Short terms are lots of fun and I get to collect all sorts of people, but I do worry about STDs. I am worried about possibly developing feelings for my long term partners though, the last thing I need is to get myself into an emotional crush thingy lol.
We could not be any more different... Though I wouldn't call emotional commitment an "emotional crush". That's weird wording for it.
Lol what I meant by "emotional crush" is that I don't want to develop feelings for someone to the point where it seriously affects my judgement. For example, I plan on moving to California after graduating from my computer science program, and I would hate feeling conflicted over pursuing my dreams vs staying with a partner if I were to develop strong feelings for someone. I guess I feel there are much more important things I want to do than wasting time falling head over heels in love with someone, so I feel the need to make sure I don't develop such feelings.
_________________
Cheers,
HelloWorld314
p.s. English is not my native language, please correct me if I have made any mistakes. I would really appreciate it. Thanks:)
I see, I am thinking of developing long term non-monogamous relationships as well if that is what you mean. Short terms are lots of fun and I get to collect all sorts of people, but I do worry about STDs. I am worried about possibly developing feelings for my long term partners though, the last thing I need is to get myself into an emotional crush thingy lol.
We could not be any more different... Though I wouldn't call emotional commitment an "emotional crush". That's weird wording for it.
Lol what I meant by "emotional crush" is that I don't want to develop feelings for someone to the point where it seriously affects my judgement. For example, I plan on moving to California after graduating from my computer science program, and I would hate feeling conflicted over pursuing my dreams vs staying with a partner if I were to develop strong feelings for someone. I guess I feel there are much more important things I want to do than wasting time falling head over heels in love with someone, so I feel the need to make sure I don't develop such feelings.
OK I see what you meant.
Jacoby
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Nobody is throwing sex at aspie guys no strings attached, at least not this one so I guess the answer would really be 'not sure' but in my head it is easy to separate sex and a romantic relationships so maybe I could I don't know. I think this is probably a lot easier for guys to do just from a biological perspective.
I do not think the whole hookup culture is healthy or indicative of anything good about the individual tho, guys who did this back in the day were thought of as creeps but now it's celebrated by both sexes. I can't say I find a lot of what you're saying relatable so I'll hold my tongue from saying more, just try to be safe I guess.
i've had "platonic" sexual partners, if that makes sense.
i like that. friends who have sex. no romantic strings attached, but there is still a solid level of connection and understanding.
i'm not a fan of hooking up with people i don't really know. in my limited experience with it the sex isn't nearly as good either.
have been with one partner, and don’t foresee being with any other in the remaining span of this short life... she was just too dear and ideal in comparison to everyone else ever met before, and since. even as only a memory, she’s more sustaining a comfort and inspiration than the thought of drawing close for such a relationship to anyone else ever met. someone has to be excruciatingly loved to be wanted so badly as to desire her to permeate and claim this body, spirit and mind with her all... or there is just no desire to allow intimacy whatsoever. an uninvited advance of touch is to be instinctively met with a bone rattling lion’s roar ever since having known her... it is most perplexing as if under spell.
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七転び八起き
Platonic love is actually intimate non-sexual affection but, today, sexual love seems to be the higher form of love, of which I have neither, since I have stopped looking for either like the long term unemployed.
Pedantic in 3,2,1...it's "no strings attached" or "nsa" not "no string attached".
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