Newly diagnosed as Aspergers - mother disagrees

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My mother says I was a normal,well behaved child,and disagrees with my diagnosis.

She says I didn't present these symptoms in childhood. So just what is going on?

HI,
If you have been evaluated by a DR. with a diagnosis, than i would trust your DR.. Your mother could be in denial, and not all people on the spectrum show behavior problems as a child. It just happens to be a common trait. Take some aspie tests on the web to confirm the diagnosis, or get a second opinion.
Good luck

Same exact thing happened to me, TBH.

It gets even weirder when you get a second professional opinion and get the exact opposite diagnosis. I don't know what to tell you, but you may have to trust your gut. I know that feeling, and you're not alone.

These possibilities besides mom being in denial and you are not on the spectrum.

1. You were "well behaved" ie. did not cause trouble and got good grades but not typically behaved such as being very reserved.

2. You might have typically behaved but nobody could see your inner struggle it took to do that.

3. You were typical until the increased demands and expectations of being older made you stand out because they moved forward and you did not.

4. You were typical until the increased demands and expectations of being older stressed you out bringing your autistic traits to the fore.

5. Autism is often genetic. A lot of your family are undiagnosed autistics so you were typical in that environment

6. One or more of the above

Tell her that she is not a doctor and that she doesn't determine what disorders you have and do not have. Why does it even matter? Unless you live with her, her opinion means nothing.

I have never really excelled in social situations.

Do whatever your mother wants you to (as you're under her roof) and ignore it- and keep learning.

If I were you honestly. I would ask your mom what makes her think that you don't have autism. So you can see what she thinks that doesn't make you autistic. But that's just me.

Everyone in the family knows that I have always been different, & when I told my father that I have Asperger's syndrome, he was upset and in denial at first. He still doesn't like thinking about it, so I don't discuss it with him unless he brings it up. He is also bothered by my being a hermit type person, as he is an extrovert, and has trouble believing that solitary people can be okay with being alone. I prefer being alone, and must frequently reassure my father that I like living alone and that I prefer not constantly socializing with other people. I am in my upper 50s, and he is in his lower 90s, and after all these decades, I still can't get him to understand that some people, including me, like being alone.

As for your problem with your mother, don't keep throwing your condition at her. Just do what's best for you. Most NTs just don't know enough about autism spectrum disorders to understand what it involves. Because of the broad spectrum of traits, and the different levels of intensity that each trait may have in each different person on the spectrum, no two people on the spectrum have the exact same package of traits and intensities. There are also a number of co-morbid conditions that people on the spectrum can have. This makes it very complicated for NTs to understand. It can also be hard for us to grasp at times, so don't expect your mother, or other people to fully understand your situation.

Maybe your mum feels guilty because she didn't see it earlier and so didn't do anything about it.

My mum was interviewed by my psychologist over the phone. I told Mum to expect the call but not what it was about. So she didn't know it would be about autism.

At first my mum felt awful because a lot of traits of me being autistic were there but she just thought I was a variation of normal. She didn't want to talk about autism with me because she got a guilt trip. That was when I was 27. It's a bit different now but she is still a bit sensitive about the subject.