Moderating Emotions

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If someone can't get over something small for years, keeps thinking about something someone said online, hitting walls and herself out of anger over it, is that a problem with handling emotions? What else could cause that?

yes, maybe something like having little or no "emotional skin". this is a concept which describes an emotional wall like a semipermiable skin barrier. if someone has no emotional skin at all, they will feel external emotional pressures to their full extent.

also maybe an anxiety thing. anxiety's a b***h.

I'm not sure if I am understanding correctly or not. Are you asking specifically about one thing that keeps coming up over and over? If yes, I would say that even if it seems a 'small' thing, it clearly is not. Small is subjective. What might seem small to some people, might be a huge thing for another or others. If I am understanding correctly, it might very well be an emotion handling thing... but more importantly it would seem an unresolved issue thing, to me. I'd treat it as some kind of memory based trauma that needs to be resolved/worked through. But that's me. I tend to flip out over past things until I work through them. For me, when I get to actually doing work on past things that caused me upset, I find the present day emotion crap kinda falls into place afterwards. But I also do emotion work about it while doing the memory/thought distortion work as well... I just can't do the emotion stuff until I do the memory/thought distortion stuff. My own grasp on emotions is awful, so I need that other stuff as a starting and regrouping point. If that makes any sense. Meh.

Someone suddenly decided to stop talking to me on a dating site for a reason that seemed really random and really took me by surprise. And I never got over the sense of shock. She didn't say anything mean though. It was just a few messages exchanged between strangers, that's why it seems like it should be small. And I was kind of upset with myself for bothering to make any social attempt because I was feeling content alone with my new interest.