Why do we hate ourselves?

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Why do we hate ourselves for being Autistic? Why do we self-pity and loathe ourselves for something which is entirely beyond our control? Something which is neither a disability, nor a disease, nor even a mental illness?

Many of us search for a cure and practice regular self-suppression of our true thoughts and feelings, centered around managing the "symptoms" of our "disorder" where there is none to be found; rather a mere difference in the wiring of our brains, which separates us from our peers.

The world we live in designed for neurotypicals. Less than 1/60 of us are autistic. We are raised and conditioned to match neurotypical norms of behavior and interaction for our entire lives, and find ourselves alienated for our short-comings, on account of these supposed norms being foreign to our preferences. Surely if the world were occupied by a majority of Aspies, would it not be designed around us? Then one might claim that the quality of being neurotypical (which invariably would have a different name, being as it wouldn't be typical) was an "illness" for reason of the same complications that would arise if one should attempt to communicate and express themselves normally in an Aspie dominated world. But yet, we are aware of the absurdity of such a conclusion: to paint a neurological difference as an illness or a disease, worthy of being eradicated through "cures" and other means, rather than a simple change of thought process. Our only flaws, if we wish to call them such, are a lack of sociability and general reservedness as with a differing means of perceiving the world around us. But the liabilities confronted by these traits depend on what value we assign to them. To a neurotypical living in a region dominated by Aspies, extroversion would be seen as atypical. But folly arises when the majority would attempt to brand this irregularity as a disease, worthy of annihilation, as opposed to an utterly innocuous neurological difference.

Why should we view ourselves as worthy of being cured, or in need of a mythical cure, if one should arise? Granted, I don't claim that all abnormality should be considered equally valid. A case couldn't be made for instance for accepting schizophrenia or psychosis. But there is nothing wrong with us except that we are not the majority.

Statistically speaking we are, as an median (though there's always exceptions) more intelligent, more talented, more tolerant, and have a greater propensity for deep emotional empathy and affection than our neurotypical peers. We're less likely to commit crimes, and other acts of disgusting violence. We're more likely to occupy STEM fields and intellectual positions. Among us are society's savants, doctors, lawyers, scientists, college professors, and mathematicians. But from without are groups dedicated to spreading awareness of our "illness", cautioning parents of our condition, and dedicated to finding a cure for us, as though we were monsters!

Tell me friends, should we not, instead of towards ourselves, direct our contempt at the society which is centered around excluding and persecuting us, because we don't conform with its behavioural norms and expectations? Share with me your thoughts.

I hate it when people say AS isn't a disability. While to some individuals on the spectrum it is a "difference", to others it feels more like a disability. For me it is a disability.

I think I'm a self-loathing Aspie because of the social faux pas I make or have made in the past. I think "ugh! Why did I say/do that?!" Also the way I caused stress for my mum growing up, and the way I struggle making friends, and the way it's only me in the whole family who has it. Also the way people stare at me when walking in the street even though my AS isn't that obvious and I don't go out looking unkempt or doing anything weird. It makes me feel insecure about who I am and it just esculates self-hatred.
And it makes me feel like I am "mad", as in psychotic. The way I have to be on meds to stop uncontrollable outbursts and hitting myself in the head in rage. I bet I looked like a mental patient, and I would never tell people I did that.
And the way a special interest with 2 particular people I once had made me look like a stalker. I nearly got into trouble, and the people I was obsessed with told me to see a doctor, like I was a "nutter".

I hate myself because I'm the same species as human beings and was born on the same planet that human beings were. A doomed planet run by a species that doesn't care if it murders innocent people in war as long as they kill the "enemy" while other people are forced to live in the streets, treats anyone who is different as though they have some hideous life-threatening plague, and brainwash us into hating ourselves inside and out.

I don't hate having Aspergers. In fact, the more I see how NT people act, the more I prefer being abnormal. It's when I'm reminded that I'm a human being who does stupid and selfish things because of my species and that I'm really no better than serial killers that I hate myself.

I hate myself because I don't​ have the intellect to compensate for my social shortcomings. Even though many would argue that those on the high end of the spectrum are not disabled, I personally believe I am both intellectually and emotionally disabled. Thus, I feel rather inclined to vehemently loathe myself.

And the sweeping generalisations and stereotypes don't help the cause. If you say to someone that you are autistic, invariably they will jump to the conclusion that you are either the spawn of Einstein or a complete imbecile.

to whom do you address when you state “we”, yourself?

the world is far more than tolerant, even favorable, to difference once you age and carry yourself fearlessly in a dignified manner.

I used to constantly call myself weak and undeserving of love and attention, but as I get older I have less of this issue. I will go from hating myself to loving myself as a decent human being, because I am decent.

Society, the world is not made for anyone, even Chad doesn't quite fit.
(Apologies to any Chads reading this)

Think of society as a band, we don't have to conform exactly, just slide inside the outer edge of the band.

NT people don't have a clue either, they are just slightly better equipped when it comes to understanding how and where to conform.
We understand spectrums, can accept them existing and us existing somewhere on them, NTs rarely have to confront that in the way we do.

We are all in the same boat.

In my case, what I hate isn't myself, or people in general, or what I 'have' or whatever's a part of myself, orore so if it has anything to do with what others do have or do not have.

What I hate is the need, envy, and sense of entitlement.
And I would definitely hate myself if I'm envious to anything to the point of insecurity, entitled for fulfillments and break down due to deprivation, and needy to the point that living is not 'living' but surviving and coping.

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I love myself and I enjoy celebrating my autism. I don't hate myself at all. I'm sorry that you feel the way that you do. I'd rather get out there and have fun than sit around at home, feeling sorry for myself.

I don't hate myself. I don't understand self-hate.
Also I thought I hated people who have hurt me.
But I realize I didn't hate them I was just hurt.
I think if someone really hated themselves they wouldn't care what happened to themselves.
If you hate your circumstances in life and want things to get better, then you must love yourself or you wouldn't care.