I thought I was fairly logical?
PhoenixRain
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: 5 Apr 2017
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 56
Location: Peoria, AZ
Does anyone else have the issue where you think you're explaining something in very logical, clear terms, but you can't seem to get anyone else on the same page? This happens to me all the time, especially at work with my supervisor. I don't know if it's me that really is communicating in a difficult to understand matter, or if she just needs help learning to listen?? I honestly feel that I explain things in a logical, clear, understandable way, and try to dumb things down, but somehow I still have to re-word things multiple times to get it across.
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AQ: 32
Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 132 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 81 of 200
You are very likely neurodiverse (Aspie)
I get this a lot and can get very frustrated when people don't understand me. Especially when I can't think of another way to explain it.
I also confuse people with my train of thought. I might see something and a whole process will happen in my brain and I'll comment on the end thought and when I say it people say I'm being random. I can understand that but then when I explain my thought process behind it they seem to get very confused, even though it makes perfect sense to me.
Yep, I often make leaps in logic that seem perfectly rational to me but utterly confuse others. Maybe its just the difference in the way that the NT and aspie brain function. Another thing I do sometimes is state something that I think is logical and appropriate in a situation but others seem to take it as blunt and rude, even though it may be true.
ASPartOfMe
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Dear_one
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Your line of reasoning might be very logical, but the person you are explaining something to might be not be as logical. They might have biases or psychological hang up which prevent them from accepting your information. They might have different priorities. They might need things explained in a different manner, or might not be able to deal with the complexity of the situation.
Yep, totally. It's something I'm probably gonna have to get over in the future.
When I was younger I sometimes had that problem. Its almost embarrassing to think back now on some moments because it seems obvious to me now why folks didnt get things I was trying convey.
Example:the store I worked at had a trash dumpster outside. On the dumpster was posted a sign "For the XYZ Drugstore use only". But the dumpster itself was enclosed in little gated fence. You could put trash into it, but the fence blocked you from reading the sign. So the stupid sign was useless because no one could read it.
The result was that every resident in every house in the surrounding community used our dumpster to put their own trash into. I would catch folks putting stuff in it and none even thought they were doing anything wrong. They honestly and innocently thought the dumpster was there for the whole community to use.
The young lady store manager and I got to talking about the problem of non-store trashing filling up the dumpster, and I said that I thought "we need a sign people can read". She replied 'we HAVE a sign out there". I left the conversation angry. But when I am reminded of it now it embarrasses me how naive I was to think that she could have parsed out that I meant "a sign that people can read" as opposed to "a sign that is always hidden from view that obviously no one would obey because they cant read it".
Should have said "we have sign, but no one obeys it because ....duhhhh....its hidden from view so you cant read the sign in the first place." Something like that.
There is more to the tale. I was also wrongly assuming that boss knew things I knew - like who the culprits were. She and others in the store thought it was some one party (some other store in the mall) that was using our dumpter. And from catching people in the act I actually knew the truth that it wasnt one party. It was every damn person in the surrounding neighborhood. The whole public. And not some baddies at anther mall store.
You might be making similar sorts of mistakes. Assuming folks know things that they dont know. And/or expecting them to parse things out in a hurry.
The lesson. You have to get into the other person's head and see it from their pov before you explain stuff to them.
One thing I realize is that when I say things in literal, strictly logical ways, other people tend to think I have hidden meanings or what I have said simply reflect I am in a bad mood instead of what I really mean.
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Cheers,
HelloWorld314
p.s. English is not my native language, please correct me if I have made any mistakes. I would really appreciate it. Thanks:)
It's possible they have their own perspective and they just don't agree with what you're saying? Not that they don't understand you.
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Son: Diagnosed w/anxiety and ADHD. Also academic delayed.
Daughter: NT, no diagnoses.
viewtopic.php?t=327822
ABSOLUTELY.
Maybe there's some sense in the replies I got in this topic from the good folk of WP to shed some light on your (or maybe more pointedly, other people's) miscommunications.
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Alexithymia - 147 points.
Low-Verbal.
Example:the store I worked at had a trash dumpster outside. On the dumpster was posted a sign "For the XYZ Drugstore use only". But the dumpster itself was enclosed in little gated fence. You could put trash into it, but the fence blocked you from reading the sign. So the stupid sign was useless because no one could read it.
The result was that every resident in every house in the surrounding community used our dumpster to put their own trash into. I would catch folks putting stuff in it and none even thought they were doing anything wrong. They honestly and innocently thought the dumpster was there for the whole community to use.
The young lady store manager and I got to talking about the problem of non-store trashing filling up the dumpster, and I said that I thought "we need a sign people can read". She replied 'we HAVE a sign out there". I left the conversation angry. But when I am reminded of it now it embarrasses me how naive I was to think that she could have parsed out that I meant "a sign that people can read" as opposed to "a sign that is always hidden from view that obviously no one would obey because they cant read it".
Should have said "we have sign, but no one obeys it because ....duhhhh....its hidden from view so you cant read the sign in the first place." Something like that.
There is more to the tale. I was also wrongly assuming that boss knew things I knew - like who the culprits were. She and others in the store thought it was some one party (some other store in the mall) that was using our dumpter. And from catching people in the act I actually knew the truth that it wasnt one party. It was every damn person in the surrounding neighborhood. The whole public. And not some baddies at anther mall store.
You might be making similar sorts of mistakes. Assuming folks know things that they dont know. And/or expecting them to parse things out in a hurry.
The lesson. You have to get into the other person's head and see it from their pov before you explain stuff to them.
Most people likely would have disregarded the sign if they could read it. A lot of retail shops here don't want people "dumpster diving" or putting their own trash in the dumpsters, so they lock up the dumpsters in areas the public can't get to.
Example:the store I worked at had a trash dumpster outside. On the dumpster was posted a sign "For the XYZ Drugstore use only". But the dumpster itself was enclosed in little gated fence. You could put trash into it, but the fence blocked you from reading the sign. So the stupid sign was useless because no one could read it.
The result was that every resident in every house in the surrounding community used our dumpster to put their own trash into. I would catch folks putting stuff in it and none even thought they were doing anything wrong. They honestly and innocently thought the dumpster was there for the whole community to use.
The young lady store manager and I got to talking about the problem of non-store trashing filling up the dumpster, and I said that I thought "we need a sign people can read". She replied 'we HAVE a sign out there". I left the conversation angry. But when I am reminded of it now it embarrasses me how naive I was to think that she could have parsed out that I meant "a sign that people can read" as opposed to "a sign that is always hidden from view that obviously no one would obey because they cant read it".
Should have said "we have sign, but no one obeys it because ....duhhhh....its hidden from view so you cant read the sign in the first place." Something like that.
There is more to the tale. I was also wrongly assuming that boss knew things I knew - like who the culprits were. She and others in the store thought it was some one party (some other store in the mall) that was using our dumpter. And from catching people in the act I actually knew the truth that it wasnt one party. It was every damn person in the surrounding neighborhood. The whole public. And not some baddies at anther mall store.
You might be making similar sorts of mistakes. Assuming folks know things that they dont know. And/or expecting them to parse things out in a hurry.
The lesson. You have to get into the other person's head and see it from their pov before you explain stuff to them.
Most people likely would have disregarded the sign if they could read it. A lot of retail shops here don't want people "dumpster diving" or putting their own trash in the dumpsters, so they lock up the dumpsters in areas the public can't get to.
Well- ours was locked but you could still slide flat things into it through a wide horizontal slot. And I would catch folks and button hole them to ask why they used our dumpster, and they were honestly flabbergasted to learn that they werent supposed to use the dumpster. And its all besides the point I was making above anyway. The point being how I should have conversed about the subject with the boss. We had a little fence around the dumpster, and it was locked, but somehow you could still put trash in it (forget the exact set up). The point I was trying to convey to the boss was that "lets do the obvious thing first -hang a sign OUT side the enclosure first- so folks can actually SEE it- before we start to complain about the fact that folks dont obey the sign (how can they obey a sign that they cant read?). And a visible sign would like have cut down the wrong use of it. I knew for a fact that folks in the surrounding community thought the dumpster was put there for public use. So a certain percent of folks would have stopped using it even if some other folks would have trespassed and kept on using it.
Dear_one
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Joined: 2 Feb 2008
Age: 75
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,717
Location: Where the Great Plains meet the Northern Pines
Expanding on the logic - there was an obvious need for a community dumpster. Perhaps the boss should have bothered the Municipality. Maybe they would have taken down the "stop littering" signs though. Or, a sign could have gone up saying "public service for local residents only - please be customers too."
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