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Joao
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Location: Brooklyn, NY and Rio de Janeiro, RJ

29 May 2019, 4:05 pm

Hi all. Forum nooob here.

Background: Born and raised in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil way before AS was a know diagnosis. Spent my entire childhood in and out of psychiatric and behaviour therapy, and nobody back then knew what was "wrong" with me. Was perfectly capable of speaking, yet didn't do much of that until my late teenage years. In school I was brilliant at subjects that interested me, but unfortunately not much of what they were teaching interested me. Flunked 4th & 7th grade because of that. Was always an outsider, completely out of place in social situations, and could never understand why.

Fast forwards some 47 years to 2012. While listening to the Best Practices episode of This American Life (can't post URLs yet), I could definitely relate to some of the things they were talking about. So I took the online test. This was the result.

(can't post image yet - see allgoodnamesrtaken.com/aspie.png )

At first I thought that was great. I finally understood why I was so different than my peers. I thought that knowledge would turn my life around. Unfortunately, it seems to have had the exact opposite effect from I was hoping. I feel every day more and more isolated, and less capable of dealing with day-to-day. Last week was the most depressed I have ever felt. I took 11 days off from work, and the weather here in NYC was great for the most part. My plan was to get back into cycling and photography, and reconnect with some old friends. In the end I spent 11 days alone at home, watching the world go by outside.

Is this normal? And what kind of treatment has worked for some of you who may have gone through this before?

Still trying to catch-up with these forums. Lots and lots of information here.

Joao



BlossX
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29 May 2019, 4:12 pm

Hi Joao, first of all welcome among us.

Regarding your question, you see the world going by and wonder. This is curious but I'll tell you something:

This is something I do since when I was 15, now I am 22 and still I analyze, I'm curious about how things work. I try to understand them each day, more and more of every subject. I thought that knowledge was power but I was wrong, I'm still confused at the early age of 22 and I'm followed by a therapist which help me clear my doubts regarding life.

So don't worry, a trait of autistic people is watching others, at times even following other people (not out of evil, but because we are extremely curious individuals.) I do that often, and it happens that I spend most of my day watching what others do/what happens in the world. I would say that the most important thing is to always learn by what you watch, so it is a perpetual lesson.



Mountain Goat
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29 May 2019, 7:00 pm

Welcome to the site. :)


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IstominFan
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30 May 2019, 9:23 am

Welcome, Joao! I am also 54 years old and knew I was different most of my life.

Looking forward to hearing more about you.



jimmy m
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30 May 2019, 10:17 am

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

Many of the problems that Aspies face are stress related. Stress is almost our middle name. Stress is cumulative in nature. Too much stress can turn into distress, for example depression. This is a type of trauma. The following is a list of some of the signs of trauma:

* Deer in the headlight frozen expression
* Paleness and racing heartbeat
* Terrified speechless
* Disruptive behavior
* Anger, irritability, mood swings, edginess * Hyperactive
* Poor concentration
* Demonstrating poor impulse control
* Lethargic, lack of energy
* Depressed
* Shock, denial, or disbelief
* Confusion, feeling out of control
* Anxiety and fear
* Night terrors
* Guilt, shame and self-blame
* Withdrawing from others
* Feeling sad and hopeless
* Feeling disconnected or numb, spacey
* Hyper-focus on mortality or death
* Loss of appetite or overeating
* Obsessive-compulsive behavior
* Avoidance behavior

So essentially what you are seeking is a way out of this trauma. That is the ability to vent the stress hormones and chemicals which are trapped within you muscles and nervous system.

So my first recommendation is to read through a book called "In An Unspoken Voice" by Peter A. Levine. That should at least provide you a tutorial on the subject of stress.

There are two types of therapy that may be of great help to you. They received high marks from other Aspies. These are Somatic Experiencing therapy and Tension & Trauma Release Exercises (TRE). These forms of therapy were not developed for Aspies. They were developed to treat overbearing stress such as seen in PTSD victims, trauma victims, victim of great natural disasters.

Generally trauma is stored in your limbs. So your plans on riding a bicycle were actually a very good idea because they could help to vent the stress from you legs. But realize that you have 5 limbs. Those are your two legs, your two arms and your neck.


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Joao
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30 May 2019, 11:35 am

BlossX wrote:
So don't worry, a trait of autistic people is watching others


Thanks. the "watching the world go by" reference was more of a metaphor. I actually spent most of my vacation time either sleeping or online, while telling myself "I should really be out there trying to do something fun for a change".



Joao
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30 May 2019, 11:45 am

jimmy m wrote:
So my first recommendation is to read through a book called "In An Unspoken Voice" by Peter A. Levine. That should at least provide you a tutorial on the subject of stress.

There are two types of therapy that may be of great help to you. They received high marks from other Aspies. These are Somatic Experiencing therapy and Tension & Trauma Release Exercises (TRE). These forms of therapy were not developed for Aspies. They were developed to treat overbearing stress such as seen in PTSD victims, trauma victims, victim of great natural disasters.

Generally trauma is stored in your limbs. So your plans on riding a bicycle were actually a very good idea because they could help to vent the stress from you legs. But realize that you have 5 limbs. Those are your two legs, your two arms and your neck.


Thanks Jimmy. I'll definitely look into those.



CockneyRebel
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31 May 2019, 7:49 pm

A lot of people get depressed around this time of the year. I feel a twinge of depression right now.


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