Want to Increase Self Control

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Hi, so I've been struggling with self control and discipline. I've spent the last year or so rejecting any sort of criticism that I've received. I don't really know what's wrong. I've become incredibly pushy, sensitive, unmotivated, lazy, and unpleasant. I'm also EXTREMELY sensitive, and I can't take ANY insult. I've become a textbook narcissist with aggression, a sudden hatred of everyone, explosions in anger, and all that. The only difference between me and a narcissist is that I am aware of how much of an ass I've become. I'm disgusted by myself. I see two problems:
1. I have very poor social control. I say things out of volume. I get bullied because I attract attention myself. I'm lethargic and my speech sounds funny to others. I'm not sure how to fix some of these. I am also aggressive, paranoid, and threatening to some people who I know well but then I'm a coward around other people, and that's what truly saddens me. I feel comfortable with my family and I can't tell them, and I feel like I'm exploiting them because they are lenient with me due to the belief that Aspergers causes all these problems. Well, it causes low energy and sensory processing problems which can lead to poor self control, but I feel like I need to take way more responsibility and I'm not sure how to do that.
2. I have very poor motivation. I lost my perfectionist edge I use to have, and I've completely given up academically. I can't even seem to organize myself. I'm all over the place in school and my main priority is to "escape the system". For any therapies I have I just shut down and I can't be helped, because all the "help" seems like someone who's just telling me to work harder using different words every time. I also can't be sure if I'm truly lazy, and I'm using the AS as an excuse, or whether I'm really having a difficult time. I'm depressed a lot of the time, but other times I'm perfectly fine and I just have no desire to progress or do anything. My scores have fallen far below average and I don't know who to reach out to. I also worry I won't be able to get to college. The school counselor doesn't help, and I don't have the energy (or self discipline) to see the teachers because any time I have a break I want to get the hell out as fast as possible.

What do you guys do to improve motivation? Self control? Social control? I just want more control but I'm drained. I also want to determine if it's laziness or if I'm just abusive and malignant. Any help?

I am feeling the same and I think it is due to anxiety, depression and poor self esteem.
My psychologist also says I am just not trying hard enough and I don't find it helpful because I actually think I am already doing enough. It's just that the expectations are too much and the more I try to fit them the worse my mental state gets. When people stop pushing me I slowly gather the energy to move forward - but not when they constantly critique me. The guilty feelings and dealing with being hated is exhausting and I don't have energy for anything else. also how am I supposed to get any motivation if all I hear is that I am unmotivated and don't try at all, despite trying?
Actually I believe it also happens to me because I am pushing myself too hard too - I set myself some goals (finding a job, moving out, getting more friends, getting a partner) that I cannot accomplish.

Read about autistic burnout: http://aspified.com/burnout/, http://autism.wikia.com/wiki/Autistic_regression

My symptoms got better recently as I put the job hunting on hold and worked on getting a disability pension instead. Now I find myself am able to think about getting a job - just a part time one. It caused meltdowns/shutdowns before because I was forcing myself to look for full time jobs since a part time job wouldn't pay enough to rent a room or pay for public transportation while paying for living expanses and I just don't want to leech on my parents anymore. Now I can either still live with my parents and pay for my living expanses with the pension or push myself to work part time and live by myself, just earning enough money for living expanses, without worrying about the rent/transport. At any case - I am not leeching on parents anymore.

You should also let go of some goals and change them to some goals easier to accomplish. You will feel better. Most of what you are experiencing is having goals above your current abilities.

You feel you are exploiting your parents, just like I did. It is one reason. You need to do something with it. Either except it as their good will and stop feeling this way or do as I did and try to get a disability pension unless you can actually afford(mentally and economically) a part time job.

You feel you need to take more responsibility - well, you don't. You have Asperger. You have full right to be not ready for the responsibilities your peers have. Accept it. Pushing yourself more than you are able to is bad for yourself and the more you push yourself the less responsibilities you can actually take because your mental state is getting worse and worse. Let it go. Just do what you can do, not what you feel you are supposed to do because your peers do it or even you used to be able to do it before.

Your scores are far bellow average - so what? Does that mean you are about to fail?

If no - don't worry about it. Just because you used to have better scores doesn't mean you are a failure now. I know it is hard to believe because I have the same problem (I am "a mostly A, few B, occasional C" student so when I suddenly started getting D/Es a few times in the past I had no idea how to deal with it) but it's possible. Once you accept your poor grades are not because you are a failure you will feel better and get the energy to fix them. The few times I mentioned always ended in a huge improve and I was always getting straight As from that subject for whole years afterwards, how I did it is still a mystery for me, just something "clicked" in my head as soon as I stopped caring, "I am getting D/E because I am a failure" was a mental block keeping me from improving.

If yes - consider if you really need to go to the college and set yourself a different, side goal, for example going to a job trainee school (I am not sure how they are called in your country but you sure have them - not universities but schools that prepare you for a job, they don't require high score, actually they don't even look at score as long as you graduated middle or high school).
I successfully graduated college but I went to a job trainee school afterwards anyway because the university wouldn't teach me how to actually do my job. University teaches you how to be a professor/writer/theoretic, job trainee schools make you an actual worker.

Yes, I need to do better with self control and discipline too. And I also have burnout episodes every so often. In fact, I'm going through a burnout episode right now as a result of a really stressful personal problem that I've been having for several weeks. I can't believe that this personal problem has affected me the way that it has. Some people might think that it's a relatively minor problem. But unfortunately to me, it isn't a minor problem. However, that doesn't mean that the stress that my problem has caused hasn't worried and even frightened me at times. If I had better self control and discipline and acted less emotionally, then this problem probably wouldn't affect me the way that it has. I guess my personal problem has stressed me out the way that it has because of my Asperger's. And I wouldn't even have the problem to begin with if it wasn't for my Asperger's.

I know you guy already posted this, so this won't come across as news, but I feel exactly the same way that you both have written. I didn't even know there was such thing as a burnout, but now it makes sense.

I am DRAINED by people, and by being forced to do things by people. When I'm at home I get lonely and bored, but I find myself opened to new things. I have a constant interest in the world. In school I'm pushed and drained, insulted, berated, any other word I can use to describe the constant torrent of aggression from other students and teachers. I feel like I just attract hate. What the hell does that even mean?