Feeling of being the "center" or "self awareness" in Autism

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GreenRanger06
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29 May 2017, 1:35 am

I am going to try and explain this the best I can.

So for the longest time I have had this overwhelming feeling of existence. It's not that I am "self centered" but I feel like I am the center of existence...like I am the main character or something.

I do also have anxiety when I ponder over the fact that I am living, and exist.

Does anyone else have this?



Joe90
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29 May 2017, 1:58 pm

I feel like that, but in a social anxiety way. When I'm out I feel like I am being watched, observed, judged, targetted, and any little thing I do I think gets seen and talked about. But I think that comes from a PTSD thing, from bad experiences with strangers in the past.


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Dijtel
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29 May 2017, 3:38 pm

You mean you see yourself in third person? I have this a lot.



Raleigh
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29 May 2017, 3:44 pm

Doesn't everyone feel like they're the centre of existence because you are the aperture through which the world is viewed?
Maybe you should explain further.
I often feel like I'm acting a part, if that is what you mean.


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leejosepho
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29 May 2017, 4:09 pm

GreenRanger06 wrote:
... It's not that I am "self centered" but I feel like I am the center of existence...like I am the main character or something.

I do also have anxiety when I ponder over the fact that I am living, and exist.

Does anyone else have this?

Yes, I do, or at least I have in the past. I have never been delusional like in thinking I am a messiah or anything, but even today I often feel like a main character being unrecognized, overlooked or even knowingly ignored on the stage. As to any related anxiety, however, mine has been more like being anxious about the reality that I actually do exist even though I mostly perceive and view myself only in third-person (dissociation).


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TheWarrior
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29 May 2017, 4:47 pm

Yes I have this. More noticeable in social situations as Joe said.
Sometimes I also feel like this experience of being trapped inside myself has to have some greater meaning than just being here suffering on this planet.