What are the worst, most signifigant problems you've had?

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violentcloud
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10 Dec 2005, 9:26 pm

My temper. I got bullied endlessly at secondary school (and I'm not talking insults and punches here, it went as far as people hitting me with bricks and burning me with a soldering iron), and didn't get my diagnosis until 6th form college. So, all this time building up, the school didn't know how to help me, and I didn't know why I didn't understand people very well, and visa-versa. Of course, this caused a lot of problems with getting angry but not really knowing how to handle it. Combine this with the fact that I'm a big guy, and I could get dangerously violent with little or no provocation. Had counselling now, so I don't get violent, but I still get very *VERY* angry and can't handle it properly. In fact, now that I don't lash out at people, I find myself bottling up my anger even more. I'm kinda worried it's going to explode in my face and I'll lash out at people again...
Has anyone who has had a similar experience give me some advice on how to understand my anger better, rather than let it build up?



ridgerider
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11 Dec 2005, 10:26 am

Some Native Americans would use this technique for anger management. Based on the principle that the Earth is your Mother, and can absorb more than regular humans.

Go to a secluded place, so you won't freak out any passersby. Dig a small hole in the ground or find a hole in the earth like a ground hog hole or whatever equivalent burrow dwelling animal you would have in your locale. Lie down and stretch out on the earth and put your head or at least your face into the opening of the hole. Then, let it rip. Scream, yell, bellow - scream all the things that you want to say but know you shouldn't, all the things that make you angry. Don't hold back, commit completely to the process.

I can say from personal experience that more than just the expected biochemical response, or the sort of expected psychological release you may predict, you can get a sense of comfort from it, like after a sincere hug. You may have to do it a few times if you have been bottling up chronically. But the effects can be long lasting.

Of course, this may not be helpful for everyone, but it helped me. Just knowing that the possibility of being able to so existed, helped me contain myself on a few occasions I may have otherwise inappropriately expressed anger.

To do it even better, before doing the yelling in the hole, it is good to smudge and center yourself thru meditation or prayer. More traditional Native American smudging would use either sage (artemisia not salvia (the cooking herb)) or cedar (arborvitae or juniperus). Light the herb and sort of bathe in it. Just smudging by itself can be very soothing.

I also do better with my anger issues when I can be very physical, either skating or playing soccer or something, to the point I get the adrenaline and endorphin releases. That seems to neutralize a lot of anger. I use the anger to drive me on during the activity and it burns up, so to speak.

Good luck.


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Laz
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11 Dec 2005, 11:32 am

My aspergers has never given me problems as such. Once I was diagnosed the social/communication problems improved. The greatest problems in my life were given to me by other people either discriminating against me on the grounds of having what they labelled a "disability" or idiots who had no idea what they were talking about saying aspergers was a "psychiatric condition" Yeah you can tell that doctor was abit of a prat with a phrase like that



CockneyRebel
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11 Dec 2005, 12:58 pm

The unwanted or missunderstood feelings that I feel when I'm around people who are NT. I feel that most NTs don't understand me as a person, and they don't really seem to want me around them. That's okay, I'll go into my own little world. My World is called The Groovy London of 1967.



Neuroman
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11 Dec 2005, 1:39 pm

fleas


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tomthecarpenter
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11 Dec 2005, 2:40 pm

I thiink i understand my anger. It comes from years and years of being a loner, rejection, wondering why, It comes from the abuse i endured and not being able to get people to understand.(being told its me, not them')... being told negative things about myself, physical issues, working at jobs i hated and wondered why i had to be in a job i hated... , really dumb thing that seem to happen to me , my clumsiness. believing the universe is screwing with me for its own amusement (like Gods got a sick sense of humor).... i could go on for days and days.... but for me understandin why hasnt fixed it. Ive tried many ways to deal with it, from so many books on spirituality, psychology, occult..... . for me , ive come to this acceptance. It wwould take me years and years of thereapy and tons of cash to work thru it all and with no guarantee. Ive opted for meds. its made things managable. And ive stopped my meds to see if ive made any progress.but no... I like what ridgerider said. And i use meditation and visualization... and told my body, my brain to develop , to fire up the neurons that will give me "happy hormones" Does that make any sense?



SpaceCase
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11 Dec 2005, 3:55 pm

Maybe my social anxiety/panic attacks or the meltdowns in public.Also,sometimes it is difficult for me to read other people's body language.


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McJeff
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13 Dec 2005, 12:46 am

Executive Dysfunction... at last my dilema has a name.

I'm a terrible procrastinator, and sometimes find it hard to just get up and do anything. I'll lie in bed awake 2 hours after my alarm goes off in the morning, just thinking about everything and nothing at the same time. I can think endlessly - rerun old conversations, run story scenarios, compose completely off-the-wall scenarios that I then mentally inact...

When I was high school aged, I somehow learned how to interact with people. I used to start mentally tripping in school, and stare off into space when I was doing it, so people would ask me if I was listening to voices. For a long time, the question made me uncomfortable, and so I'd stammer, or ignore it and put my head down, which was 'weird' and inspired other kids to tease me. But this one day, I still don't know exactly why, I responded to this kid with "Dude, it's only one voice." Got a laugh out of everyone within earshot. So I did more things like that, made jokes, and suddenly I realized that if people were laughing with me, it was all cool. Lost my anti-social ness completely. I went the reverse route for the remainder of my high school career, and was the class clown in my senior year.

I also got better at dealing with my ADD. I had bad side effects when I was on ritalin, and strattera made me ill, and the idea of being dependent on any medication makes my skin crawl. So rather than try to chemically combat it, I'm working on building a lifestyle for myself where the ADD doesn't effect me as much, and it can be more easily compensated for.

For a while, I had an anger problem. Because I'm really intelligent, possibly sub-genius (Never had an IQ test taken), when I was growing up, I was repeatedly told that I had no right to be wrong about something or not understand something, EVER. My dad was big on saying that, but I had some other incidents. I was in a private school with a self-paced curriculum in 4th grade, when I first encountered long division. I didn't understand it at all - and because I had picked everything else up no problem, my teacher decided that I was just being recalcatrent. So whenever I didn't get my math work right - which was all the time - I was punished. Even in high school, I had to put up with lines like "You're so intelligent that you have no right to not get As on everything. For you, a B+ is abysmal".

Consequently, for a long, long time I felt like I had no right to fail at anything. When I did, I got angry with myself. And the problem got worse. It ended up with me hating myself for things like being nearsighted, having freckles, having sensative sinuses... they were all character flaws that I needed to be punished for. So I'd beat myself up. You know, with my fists. Only because of the angle I could never punch myself as hard as I thought I deserved, and that just made me hate myself even more. I took to headbutting the wall, knocked myself loopy a fair few times, no concussions luckily. Finally I was treated for depression, put on Wellbutrin, and it worked so well I stopped taking the stuff about 2 months later. Sometimes I have rages, but they're very brief compared to what I used to get (30 seconds as compared to the rest of the day).

But to this day, I haven't figured out a way to do anything about my Executive Dysfunction. I know I should, but... eh. You fellow sufferers of it know what it's like.

Oh yeah, I have a tough time envisioning and planning for the future. Even now it's like I'm only going through the actions and not really understanding where I'm going. My friends were all college oriented, concerned about grades... in high school I couldn't look forward at all. I don't know how to explain it really. I could recite back and explain in perfect detail how important grades and college education was, and how they could be applied in obtaining a job, but it didn't mean anything to me. Except that doesn't even seem adequate, because nothing can't have a meaning. There wasn't enough content in those things to warrant being called nothing. A complete lack of existence.

I'm slowly getting better at this, but it's a struggle and it feels like I'm sleepwalking when I do.



Mithrandir
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13 Dec 2005, 1:39 am

I have problems trying to speak with empathy sometimes.
I find plagerizing words (in audio speach) to be an arduous task.
Maybe I just need to practice more.

The other thing I find hard to control is to stay on task and not interrupt others.
I speak sometimes to remember what I am saying and so that I will be paying attention.
Its either I am participating or I am not listening.


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anarkhos
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13 Dec 2005, 5:06 pm

The biggest problem for me has been rejection by everyone. My presence is an emotional tax on people around me. I don't behave in a manner they expect, and it causes distrust at a subconscious, visceral level. Nobody wants to be with someone they don't trust. It naturally leads to feeling one is being taken advantage of.

Whatever purpose you have in life, there has to be an emotional connection. A lot of people with AS can feed themselves such energy, but I haven't found any greater meaning in my of my distractions. However interesting the subject matter, it's ultimately pointless.

It's not a mechanistic or coping problem. I'm very capable, just not of anything I care to be.



Stereokid
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13 Dec 2005, 5:39 pm

I tend to have trouble paying attention. Whenever my family and I walk into a shop or other public room with round ceiling vents, I tend to stare up at the vents and pay tiny attention to anything else that's going on. When I am in a classroom and the end of class is drawing near, my attention span shuts down and I become slightly more irritable.

I also have difficulty with transitions. Whenever the assistant manager at the store that I work at calls me at the last minute, if I do not feel like working that day, I slump my shoulders, and if the manager keeps pressing me for more details on why I cannot work that day, I can feel anger bulding up inside of me, and then when the store finally lets me off the phone, I have a meltdown.

When I was at middle-school age, I had lots of trouble getting along with other people. For instance, whenever I played a video game and my sister was watching me play, and I got stuck, I would yell at her for trying to help me because I felt that if she had to help me, then she must be better than me at the game. I also had trouble sharing my video games with her too.

Today, my biggest problems include dwelling on the past, acting younger than my age, phasing out when under stress, and being happy.