Why we autistic are treated like overgrown children?

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Why are so many people treated us autistic people like overgrown children?


https://answers.yahoo.com/question/inde ... 355AAwtpnJ

Well in my experience its mainly my dad that would treat me like a kid when I'm 21 years old, have a car and a crappy car wash job. I think it's because ever since I was younger because of my AS, he knows how gullible, naive and trusting, I am not to mention how easy I am to manipulate and become an easy target for people as I have been robbed, dragged into crimes in the past by being so stupid and having no common sense to think that there are people out they're that will hurt you and rob you for no reason and that everyone isn't as soft as I am. I think he was just being protective to keep me from being harmed by other people who's intentions I don't pick up on. I'd have curfews when going out, constant lectures on how I shouldn't trust everyone and hearing " if so and so jumped off a cliff, would you do it too"? All the time. That's why I moved out into a flat with my Friends. Also other people treat me like a kid too, like when I had to go down the police station to be interviewed for a crime my brother dragged me into, I had to have my dad with me, and when I was buying a car from the dealership I worked at, the salesman who I knew had to phone my dad and talk it all through with him, it's like people think I'm not capable of living life independently and making my own decisions witch in some ways I do need help but instead get treated like im mentally unstable

In my case it's rather justified as I am 27, still live at home, and haven't held down a job for any longer than 6 months.

^ But does that justify treating you like a child, just because you struggle with employment? Most reasons people in their 20's and 30's live with relatives is financial. They can't afford to live independently. And the basis of that is often employment difficulties.
But many adults have employment problems. Doesn't mean they deserve to be partonized or treated like babies.
I find that anyone with a disability gets treated like they're stupid. Could be physical, or something neurological like autism. Many deaf advocates report this - just because they're deaf, people treat them as if they're intellectually disabled.
Couldn't make much sense of that link, but I have found being treated like a child myself in adult autism therapies groups was because of disability. We have many limitations and differences, and people automatically assume that makes us less. And treating someone like a child is how you express viewing them as less than you.

I have to be looked after in various ways like I was a small child. But they have never treated me that way in a patronizing way.

Yes this is exactly how I feel with my grandparents. Even though I'm 18. They don't treat me like I'm 18 and just the same as they ever did. And I don't understand why since I'm now 18. It seemed like they letted my older brother do more when he turned 18 last year. But he can drive and had a job. And I don't have either. And they I argue with them alot.

I meet that friend on that, summer camp (we both ware from 1986 i April he November or December, I go there every year, from 11 to 18 years old, it was a fun place, and my parents, like all the other children who came there, did not have to pay anything because it was funded From the resources of the Polish Ministry of Health, The staff was also nice, a lot of the students were psychologists, pedagogics, and young doctors wanting to become child psychiatrists, most kids there was either because they hava ASD, ADHD, OCD, or was court ordered to be there because drugs.

This Friend of mine landed there because in his school he severely beat the boys who tormented him, because he rarely speak and was outsider, on this summer camp he was first time, diagnosed as an Aspie, same as I
It was the leading center of behavioral psychology in Poland, But he was far away because of the city which was 600 Km away, my home town was only about 60 - 80 km away, we be come very close friend, now sadly i lost contact with him

But there was something that I envied him, good luck with the girls, even though I already felt that maybe I was gay, it annoyed me that almost all the girls there, even the nurses working there commented on how nice he was and handsome he is , and he had IQ almost 150 or so, and he was member of Polish section of one international organization that associate Geniuses (forgot the name of it)

we spend loot time discussing about Space and Spacecrafts with was our both special interest

But he had one drawback, he had a very childlike face, even though he was very tall and slim as we were 17 years old. The male nurse who worked as caretaker of the camp at night joked that as he was 18 he was a shopkeeper in the store, probably refused to sell him vodka, even as he would prove personal identity card (shop salesman can refuse anyone who look under 18 to sell alcohol. )

He said me on having his first girlfriend, he knew her already, he helped her with mathematics at school, he said she was teasing him, sometimes she touched him where no girl should touching boy, once she asked him does she want him be her boyfriend, he thought that he make fun of him, on his expanse, it other turned that it was genuine proposal for him, she become his official girlfriend, she become target of school ostracism and bulling for dating with Autistic weirdo, but she loved him anyway and he bragged that he f****d her at 16
Unfortunate for him his mom found this and tried to force him to stop that relationship, his mom was afraid that this girl abuse him, je joked how she can abuse him if he is the older one in that relationship, he said that his parents was against not because religion, because they ware very liberal in terms of religions, but most likely because his AS, that his older sibling had sex much younger than him and he found that his parents are hypocrite
He defies his parents, and from what i know he married his GF, but i lost contact with him

This story reminded me recently, as one of my internet friends, an autistic I met here on our forum praised that he met his first girl, at aged 22, a little late but still better than me

I wonder where all this consternation comes from, when parents find out that their autistic teenage child is sexually active, as if we humans in the spectrum of autism were some kind of angels that are inappropriate to have sex

This irked my very much

Almost certainly my late father (died in 2002) had Asperger's Syndrome, my mother who died this year was sure of this when she started reading about autism, as you would have guessed if my dad would not be me in the world

I actually have the opposite problem. In many ways, I am an overgrown child, and often need for people to recognize that I'm not capable of functioning at their level, or doing all the things that they do without a second thought.

Because my vocabulary is extensive and my communication so competent, they just assume that I can do whatever is expected of any other person my age, and tend to get frustrated and angry when I can't, and insist that I'm just being lazy, or difficult, or insubordinate, etc.

I get bullied because I look like an adult, I sound like an adult, but I'm about as helpless and marginally competent as an adolescent.

Will@rd,

I experience similar problems. I have built up an extensive store of knowledge through reading and studying but, in terms of life experience, I'm still a novice. When I get nervous, I do a lot of things wrong. That leads to the "If you can do this, why can't you do that?" line of questioning. I feel as though that will never change enough for me to live a completely independent life.

I think that it goes to NTs as well, but they are less patronized by others, because it's happen to basically anyone

But we aspies are treated that for almost daily basis.
I wonder how many of us have Girlfriend/Boyfriend or been married and so on, does you family approve it, or you gave s**t to their opinion

In my case, when people do this it's usually because they misunderstand my trouble socializing as me not being on their level intellectually.

I don't get treated like a child.

It isn't just something people on the spectrum encounter. People with disabilities in general to varying degrees sometimes run afoul of people trying to treat them as if they're less capable regardless of what their actual condition and limitations might be.

I've seen it with physical disabilities- in my experience, if someone was either born with their disability or chronic health issues or the disability occurred when they were relatively young, they have to deal with family or some authority figure figure trying to focus on their limitations and imposing restrictions on them that have nothing to do with one's disability but a lot to do with their family's or the authority figure's issues and attitudes about disability. Families sometimes impose excessive restrictions on a disabled family member merely because they don't approve of their personal life, for example, rather than having a legitimate reason to block efforts to be independent. When I was younger and dealing with certain health issues, I found it interesting that the kids I was supposed to see as role models were the kids who gave up their favorite things or "accepted" social restrictions rather than the kids who did their own thing despite limitations. As an adult, I've had people get downright pissed off sometimes when they see myself or someone else in a wheelchair doing things that "normal" people do. Added to that, I think unfortunately being a geeky 40-something really bothers some people, like that's definitely proof I'm somehow intellectually disabled.

Indeed there are people who see people with any disability, whether it's physical or neurological, as being intellectually disabled regardless of how high functioning they might actually be. One reason it's been difficult for me to tell if I'm on the spectrum or not is because a lot of "proof" of ASD or other problems that some people have tried to present was based on their biases about either physical disabilities or mental issues rather than an actual diagnosis, or else exaggerating what might actually be real problems and making getting treatment more trouble than it would have been worth, ie, seeing real depression or bipolar disorder and assuming I was immature and trying to get attention, or assuming ADHD in adults is just adults trying to avoid responsibility. When I've talked about possibly being on the spectrum, I find it interesting that my parents dismiss it when it might explain actual challenges I deal with socially or with things important to me, but suddenly they see me as a 40-something acting like a lazy teen when it might also be a legitimately reason behind the executive functioning issues I've had. When I was younger I think they did try to understand but let their hangups about me with my health issues and untreated learning disability being a "normal" grown-up get in the way.

Basically, I suspect that when people treat anyone with a disability like they're a child or less capable, sometimes it's more about their own issues rather than the disabled persons actual situation.

For a lot of people, that's their only other setting. They don't bother with much empathy; they'll use baby talk on everything from a confused professor to a wild animal.

I once rad story on of history of on our Polish autistic man story that happened during cold war period,
In Poland, once in communism, it was supposed to be like in America, you could make a driving license as a 15 year old kid, now you have to have 18.
There was a paradox anyone could have a driving license, but there was a problem with the availability of vehicles on the market, This guy has autism, wanted to have a driving license but family did not want to agree, beacue they treated him as child, pissed him off that his younger relatives have a driving license, and he does not.
And because of communism in Poland, universal conscription were in force (Abolished in 2009), our Polish army during Communist period and still doing it, differed everyone who was called to army, possibility of doing driving courses, as well of other courses, so this guy when he was called decided to join even if he was possibility to dont do it, At that time, the Polish army, accepting all the recruits as flies, even if someone completely out of health, from i read this guy familly was mad of him for doing so, that they regret that they not send him for this stupid civilian driving course.

By the way, I wonder why mothers and wives rage when their son or husband wants to join the army, after all this is a prestigious profession

I feel like the reason why people treat me like a child has kept me from being in a relationship. I feel like a lot of guys see me as a child instead of a woman.