Are stims less relaxing if you start doing them conciously?

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So I've discovered that if I subconsciously start doing a stim, realise it, and continue to do it, it can be relaxing. But if I'm not doing one and I consciously decide to start doing one, it just doesn't work the same way and I just stop immediately.

Do other people find the same thing? That stimming only works if it starts subconsciously?

The more I notice the stim and that I'm doing it, the more anxious I get because I know it's not "normal" and I'm worried people are staring at me. Yay, anxiety * she said sarcastically*

Why would anyone stim on purpose?

Because you can It can feel good.

Stimming is a way to keep your brain busy and block outside sensory input, stims come in many forms and are a way to distract yourself. I can start it on purpose to relax myself or I ask someone to distract me by taking me for a walk and talk about my special interest.

However there are also people who insure themselfs by headbanging, scratching or hand biting for example, those self-injurious behavior are of course bad ways to stim, but that is another point...

Last edited by ErwinNL on 24 Aug 2017, 2:07 am, edited 1 time in total.

If you need to stim to relax you should do it, maybe look or ask for a more quite place you can do it if other people bother you.

Do whatever you need to come through the day, don't worry too much about what others think. Eventually, doing it in front of other people makes it more "normal" for them and they will just ignore you after a while.

Of course, if humming, tapping or jumping up and down is your technique then doing that in class / work might be a little... problematic, hehe....

Did you know that non-autistic people stim as well, we just do it more often.

You should always practice acceptable behavior when capable so it becomes natural. Allowing oneself to stim & even doing it on purpose is self defeating & is like you don't want to be acceptable. People shouldn't practice being unacceptable.

I don't agree, people should be better educated and more acceptable of others not the other way around. As long as you don't bother anyone you should be able to be yourself and calm yourself when needed.

Trying to be 'normal' to be accepted by others is exhausting and you will mentally break down in the end.

Tell people why you do it, you will get support from at least some people and it will make you feel more relaxed and accepted and thus in the end have less needs to stim or do whatever you need to relax.

If sighing every time I see a particularly beautiful cat picture in a book or on the Internet is a stim, I suppose I do it.

Yes! I have this problem too. It is normally when I realize I am stimming when it just becomes not soothing for me anymore. I start stimming subconsciously most of the time, and then when I realize it I just don't feel as relaxed anymore. When I try to gain the same input but consciously, it isn't as calming (although it can be in certain situations).

I stim consciously and purposely. If I feel the anxiety rising up, I will choose to start rocking or flapping, and it gets better. It's worked wonders for keeping overload at bay. Unconscious or conscious is all the same for me.