A personal autism reference card

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One of the books I'm reading suggests typing out a one page description of autism, as it affects you personally, to help family members and employers, if you choose to disclose, better understand you. They also recommended something like a business card with a few key points you can give people. I forget which book I read it in. I have four going at the moment: Nerdy Shy And Socially Inappropriate; Been There Done That Now Try This!: An Aspie's Guide to Life on Earth; The Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome; and NeuroTribes. It's one of those I think ... or maybe one I read before this set. Anyway...

My diagnosis is recent. So far, not including my nuclear family, I have only shared it with two people. It was met with some doubt even though they don't really know anything about it. I tried to explain a little about it and got comments like "everyone struggles with social communication" and "everyone is forgetful", "everyone fidgets", "certain sounds hurt my ears too" etc. So I'm a little wary of sharing it at all now and I'm not sure I would ever actually hand such a card to someone. Though I'm unsure of the practically it of of, the idea is sort of neat. I can think of a few things I'd like for people to know when dealing with me. Things I have been trying to tell people for years even before my Dx.

It made me wonder that other people's cards would look like. I don't know I would want to say the same things to people who know me well vs acquaintances but mine might look something like:

* Be direct with me. I don't read between the lines well and I don't do subtle
* Please don't make a lot of noise around me
* If you need me to remember something convey it in digital form or make sure I capture it digitally. I'll forget if you just tell me and if you put it on paper I'll lose the paper.
* If you want me to know what you are feeling tell me and if you want to know how I'm feeling ask me. Trust what I tell you over whatever you're reading off my body or face
* I may sometimes seem irrationally upset. It might be disproportionate anger, I may cry for no reason you can discern, or I may just shut down. Please be patient with me. Give me space and a time and I'll be fine.


How about you guys?

I've heard of this before as well. Mine might look something like this:

-Please don't take it personally if I don't get your jokes or I seem inattentive in conversation. It is hard for me to pick up on things and socialize well
-Please do not make a lot of loud noise around me. It can really hurt my ears.
-If you are going to give me a hug or touch me, warn me first. I can really freak out sometimes if you don't.
-Please be mindful of the fact that I like to carry around toys and other objects with me sometimes. It helps me feel more secure.
-If you can, please take into consideration the fact that I have trouble focusing on things that don't interest me. That make it hard for me to read what you want to read for Book Clubs or talk about certain subjects.
-I move around a lot! Please don't attempt to stop me if I am doing something that doesn't seem "normal" to you, like echolalia (repeating dialogue) or listening to the same song 500 times in a row.
-I can get very upset if you try to change something I have planned. Don't take it personally; I just need to be able to plan ahead in order to be okay.
-If I seem upset or tired, please don't push me to do something. I may be having a really hard time.
-If I seem cold or aloof to your feelings, please do not take it personally. I have empathy, but I find it hard to express.
-You may need to initiate the first move if you want to be my friend. I love having friends, but going up to someone is probably the last thing I would ever do .

This is why I don't have one of those cards. That is way too much for some poor person to remember !

I have a Autism Alert Card. I suppose it is more for emergancies though.

I've thought it would be a good idea for me to have a card to give people - it would be good in case of emergencies, and I also am terrible at explaining things spur-of-the-moment. Here's what I've come up with...

I have an autism spectrum disorder.
*This affects my ability to communicate, especially in stressful situations.
*I may have difficulty understanding instructions and answering questions properly.
*I may try to communicate using a text-to-speech app I have on my phone or writing instead of speaking.
*I am easily overwhelmed by noise and crowds.
*Please warn me before touching me.
*I may make repetitive movements or noises. This is also because of my autism, and helps calm me.
*If I seem very upset, I probably need some time alone to calm down.
*If there is a dog with me, he is my service dog. He will also help calm me.
*Eye contact makes me uncomfortable. If I am not making eye contact, that's why.
*I am trying to be cooperative, even if it may not seem like it.

To the OP. You don't need to pay any attention to what those people were saying to you. They are disrespectful of you.

I'm proud of your progress. I love your card. I gave a verbal version of it. One more thing to add.

Don't make me have to constantly guess where I stand with you. If this becomes a pattern, I will wander off.

Here's the URL to an ID card, that someone else posted, somewhere on here:

http://www.gocit.org/care-cards.html

.....and, here's a cartoon Asperger's guide, that a former member made (it's the third sticky, right here on the GAD index page):

http://wrongplanet.net/forums/viewtopic.php?t=112787

I copied it, pics and all, put the author's name on it, and give it out, every once-in-awhile.

Obviously, you don't HAVE TO use either of these things----but, maybe they'll give you some ideas.

I've been mentally working on a similar thing, something like an "elevator pitch" to explain to people what it means when I say I have an ASD. The only thing I'd put on mine that I haven't seen here yet (forgive me if I've missed it) is

* I struggle with quickly shifting my attention, especially if I'm deeply focused on something, which I usually am.

I thought I had seen it, somewhere else, and I FOUND IT!!

Go here, and scroll-down, to where it says: "Sunday, November 29, 2009", on the lefthand side.

Soloha- keep us all posted on how you are doing. One day at a time it seems we cope best.