I'm Not An Aspie. I Lied During My Assessment.

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jrjones9933
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07 Oct 2017, 6:06 pm

There are threads about stimming. People stim lots of ways. One of the best I've found involves working my abs. It beats clenching my jaw in every way. People rarely notice, and my abs look better. I used to tap my fingers on my desk, never step on cracks, all kinds of things.

So what if you're not an aspie? Or if you are? It's a spectrum, hence, everyone is on it. Diagnoses exist for people when it causes them problems in their lives. It sounds like something is causing problems in your life. You might benefit from spending less energy on naming it, and more energy improving your life. I don't really care if you get help for that by having a somewhat incorrect diagnosis. Everyone who improves their life makes the world a better place for everyone else.


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Leeds_Demon
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07 Oct 2017, 6:59 pm

@jrjones9933: I only had one 2 hour session - some of which the pyschologist interviewed my parents, then a follow up with a psychologist training to become an assessor. I wasn't given any tests, such as the EQ Test, or the SQ Test. I wasn't given the Aspie Quiz either, which apparently, is better than the AQ test.

I wasn't asked if I liked systems - there is no order in my life and my house is a tip. I wasn't asked if I had any specila interest, to the point of being anal - I don't. I might start collecting articles about William, Kate & their children, or I might want learn the terminlogy of golf, but I get bored easily, which may not be an aspie thing. I also, in my assessment, said that I needed to have a reason to talk - that I don't like engaging in everday chit-chat. That was a sort of a lie, as I do engage in chit-chat when I go out, as I would go loopy-doopy; I talk to myself as it is, or the cats. I like chatting to people, but I'm not great at it, as I live on my tod.

@marcevans: I only have sensory overload, when it comes to taste/smell. My late dad couldn't stand milk, but in no way was he autistic. Lots of NTs have issues with not liking certain things, but they're not autistic. If my Aspie Quiz, (my 1st attempt, where I didn't alter the answers, so that I would have more ND traits), stated that I had equal NT & ND traits, which must mean I can't be an aspie.

My late dad summed it up nicely: am I the way I am, because I don't mix with people? Maybe, if I socialised more, I wouldn't be 'autistic'. My mum said on one occasion, when I was telling them I thought I was an 'aspie', is that she knew of someone, who pretended to be mentally ill, and then he actually developed a mental illness.

No doubt Roxxy Voxxy will have a go at me again. The thing is, I have read stuff and the fact I don't stim, have a deep special interest, don't have a special skill, etc, then it is impossible for me to be an aspie.



B19
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07 Oct 2017, 7:11 pm

This thread is going nowhere fast except in circles and repetition. OP, I see you have made similar threads on other forums in past years, and I assume you came to WP because it is the largest AS forums, though the answers here are unlikely to add anything new at this stage.



Leeds_Demon
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08 Oct 2017, 6:31 am

@B19: I just want to know why it is that I don't seem to possess nearly of the 'known' quirks. Why it is that I can score quite highly in the Cam Face-Voice Battery Test, when a low score is indicative of Asperger's. People say that female Aspies 'learn' hpw to recognise emotions, but I've never learnt.

I have been diagnosed at a supposedly asperger's centre, but I was never asked if I have any of the quirks associated with asperger's. I was never asked if I can understand maps, if I like to know how buildings are constructed, or if, I ever have a walk in the woods, I like to know the names of the trees, (all questions from the SQ Test).

Why aren't I a genius at a certain subject? Why aren't I deeply into a special interest, (I tend to get bored). Why don't I have meltdowns, if I eat a pea, by mistake? Why don't I fit into one of the three types of thinking? To sum up, why don't I feel properly autistic?



quaker
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08 Oct 2017, 7:43 am

LD

The answer to many of your questions could simply be that the spectrum is as wide as it is deep.

Many of us in the spectrum find this difficult to grasp. We simply like "us and them," or "in and out" models. The deeper reality, like everything else lies in varying shades of grey.



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08 Oct 2017, 12:29 pm

Quote:
Even when my dad was dying, I wasn't stressed enough to wave my hands about, or twirl around. I'm fortunate, in that I'm single, (so I never have meltdowns), I work from home and I don't go out. By not living with anyone, (if you're an adult), and working from home, stress can be reduced, as people cause stress.


This is why I don’t stim much during the summer or when I am not overloaded by work at school. I have nothing to be that stressed about. I think you have the answers to your own questions, but the obsessive thinking about whether or not you have Asperger’s is causing you to look for reassurance here.


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08 Oct 2017, 1:04 pm

quaker wrote:
LD

The answer to many of your questions could simply be that the spectrum is as wide as it is deep.

Many of us in the spectrum find this difficult to grasp. We simply like "us and them," or "in and out" models. The deeper reality, like everything else lies in varying shades of grey.

Yes. You might be at the milder end of the spectrum. If you really think you biased your assessment towards the severe end, it might be helpful to (re-)take the Aspie Quiz, this time taking extreme trouble to make sure your answers are as honest as possible. My guess is that you'd come out as a mixture, with some AS and some NT traits, but just knowing your traits is very useful and relatively objective, much more objective than a woolly psych label which might encourage you to shoehorn yourself into believing you have all kinds of traits you don't really have.

In my case I did the Aspie Quiz because my (then) wife had suggested I might have AS, and although skeptical, I didn't want to dismiss her idea out of hand. At the time I had no idea that an official diagnosis might lead to adjustments at work - I'd always had problems at work but I'd explained them as being down to the cruel yoke of capitalism (I'm a socialist) and the fact that in the workplace one was forced to associate with "suits" and random people who one wouldn't normally want much to do with. If anything, I'd have felt some satisfaction in proving that my wife's idea was a lame one, like a lot of her ideas seem to have been. Nor did I know anything much about AS, so I didn't know what the "right" answers were. So I had no means or motive for biasing my answers towards a false positive. Yet the result said "you are very likely an Aspie."

Ironically, my thinking style seems to have changed since then, so that if I took the test again now, I'd have a lot of trouble answering the questions at all, because they're so reductionist and they demand black-and-white answers, and since my diagnosis I've become very aware that the truth is usually grey, so I always want to tick between the boxes, but they don't allow that, so I'm forced to lie. And of course now I mostly know what the "right" answers are, which always leaves such tests wide open to biased responses. If the OP has the same trouble, all I can recommend is this: every time there's a question that doesn't allow the truth to be told, you have to tick a box that you will know distorts the truth either one way or the other. Keep track of the directions of the distortions, and make sure that you distort the truth in half the questions one way and the other half the other way. By doing that, the distortions should cancel each other out.



Leeds_Demon
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08 Oct 2017, 1:31 pm

I just feel a fraud. My Mum is physically disabled & has mental health problems. My brother has mental health problems, (although his were self-induced, as he smoked 'legal; highs. Ergo, I know about disability.

I look at the various posts, on here and think to myself, "I'm not as autistic as those people," and then I start to wonder.

@ToughDiamond: I score around 30-ish on the AQ Test, but I failed the Systemising Quotient Test miserably. I ask myself, do I lack social skills because I don't socialise, or because I'm an aspie? Don't get me wrong, but my late Dad pointed out that I'm not all that great at conversation.

When I was getting my MA results, my parents, during the car ride home, noted how the people, in my group, were more sociable and 'with it', especially the young women.

Is my not going out, due to having asperger's, or because I don't have much money and not many friends?

I know I have been diagnosed, but the session only lasted for a couple of hours and I didn't do any tests. I wish I was 'more autistic', (a genius at something, very good at systemising and poor at recognisising other people's emotions). Altenatively, I wish I was normal, with lots of friends, a partner and earning lots of money. But I don't think I am normal, or an aspie.



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08 Oct 2017, 3:21 pm

I'm pretty sure you are somewhere on the spectrum, just not exactly fitting the stereotype.
As for being "a genius at something", there are some first-hand expiriences in this thread: viewtopic.php?t=354958 Well... contrary to the popular belief, being a genius at something can suck too. And the newest studies show that about 1/3 of the autistic people have such a well-defined gifts. Nothing close to all.
The media pick up what is a potential bestseller, not what reality is.
Best wishes to you!


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08 Oct 2017, 3:40 pm

Perservation seems to be a core factor for you, and it is a prominent feature of OCD, so perhaps you could look at that more comprehensively and there may be something of use to you? Pubmed has a lot of studies that are freely accessible, this is one:

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/23016554



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08 Oct 2017, 6:16 pm

Well, Me personally my assessment was done b4 I knew what autism was..


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08 Oct 2017, 6:28 pm

Leeds_Demon wrote:
I just feel a fraud.

I don't think many folks here see you as a fraud, if that's any help. To be a fraud, I think there has to be a payoff, and I don't see one in your case. Where's your payoff? What advantage have you gained over others by this "lie?" Maybe you're just feeling too much guilt when you haven't hurt anybody?

Quote:
@ToughDiamond: I score around 30-ish on the AQ Test, but I failed the Systemising Quotient Test miserably.

I took those recently and the results said I'm poor at both systemising and at NT social skills, yet my performance in a science job that required systemising skills was deemed very good, and my life story contains a lot of things that could well be called social success. I discarded the results as useless. Frankly I've long suspected that the Baron-Cohen tests aren't very good, though that's more of a personal, intuitive view than a carefully-researched The test I suggested before is the Aspie Quiz:
http://www.rdos.net/eng/Aspie-quiz.php
I can't prove it's better than the Autism Quotient test, but personally I prefer it, it seems less reductionist, and more human to me, and I'm allowed to respond with "don't know."
Here's what I got just now:
Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 128 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 101 of 200
You seem to have both neurodiverse and neurotypical traits

Here's the chart it generated:
Image
I don't fully understand those charts, but no worries.
Note how the test doesn't try to medicalise people or reduce it to a simple "have I got this disability or not?" - I think that's a reflection of it having a better handle on the truth of AS.

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I ask myself, do I lack social skills because I don't socialise, or because I'm an aspie?

I don't know. Perhaps, like me, it's probably a mixture of both, I don't socialise much, and when I try after not doing for a while, it's harder, so I try to push myself a little, to keep up the skills.

Quote:
Is my not going out, due to having asperger's, or because I don't have much money and not many friends?

Both, I suspect. But you'll find out in the end, if you really want to know, by studying yourself. In my case the root cause is probably ASD, but I'm not too worried about it, I think I know the kind of people I need to avoid, and if the right types aren't readily available, I'm stuck with solitude, until I solve it, but it's probably better than forcing myself to socialise with people I haven't learned to relate to and maybe never will.

Quote:
I know I have been diagnosed, but the session only lasted for a couple of hours and I didn't do any tests. I wish I was 'more autistic', (a genius at something, very good at systemising and poor at recognisising other people's emotions). Altenatively, I wish I was normal, with lots of friends, a partner and earning lots of money. But I don't think I am normal, or an aspie.

Like somebody already said, autistic people aren't necessarily geniuses. And you may be seeing NTs as being a lot happier than they are. Most people don't earn lots of money, many relationships are painful, and I would question whether ordinary friendships are particularly great, especially when they're numerous.



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09 Oct 2017, 3:04 am

ToughDiamond wrote:
Leeds_Demon wrote:
Yes, folks, I lied. No biggie. If I was an aspie, I would have never lied/over-exaggerated. But I did.

Aspies aren't always completely incapable of lying.
Diagnosticians don't just go on what the client says about themselves, as a rule.
Why did you lie?
It's not necessarily an unable to lie thing as a so bad at lying that they might as well not even try thing.


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09 Oct 2017, 3:06 am

magz wrote:
I'm pretty sure you are somewhere on the spectrum, just not exactly fitting the stereotype.
As for being "a genius at something", there are some first-hand expiriences in this thread: viewtopic.php?t=354958 Well... contrary to the popular belief, being a genius at something can suck too. And the newest studies show that about 1/3 of the autistic people have such a well-defined gifts. Nothing close to all.
The media pick up what is a potential bestseller, not what reality is.
Best wishes to you!

I'd like to point out how having a higher iq can increase your suicide risks statistically speaking.


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09 Oct 2017, 3:33 am

Leeds_Demon wrote:
I just feel a fraud. My Mum is physically disabled & has mental health problems. My brother has mental health problems, (although his were self-induced, as he smoked 'legal; highs. Ergo, I know about disability.

I look at the various posts, on here and think to myself, "I'm not as autistic as those people," and then I start to wonder.

@ToughDiamond: I score around 30-ish on the AQ Test, but I failed the Systemising Quotient Test miserably. I ask myself, do I lack social skills because I don't socialise, or because I'm an aspie? Don't get me wrong, but my late Dad pointed out that I'm not all that great at conversation.

When I was getting my MA results, my parents, during the car ride home, noted how the people, in my group, were more sociable and 'with it', especially the young women.

Is my not going out, due to having asperger's, or because I don't have much money and not many friends?

I know I have been diagnosed, but the session only lasted for a couple of hours and I didn't do any tests. I wish I was 'more autistic', (a genius at something, very good at systemising and poor at recognisising other people's emotions). Altenatively, I wish I was normal, with lots of friends, a partner and earning lots of money. But I don't think I am normal, or an aspie.
I agree with what's been said before it's hard to fluke a system that gives you money. Not to mention illegal there isn't any real fraud going on. You can try all you want. But chances are no matter how fair there is no chance in you pulling that off. You believe you are a fraud so you feel like a fraud.
When there is no fraudulent behavior. It be ignorant to not have any prevention measures.


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Note: i'm not as active anymore feel free to pm me if you want to talk to me. I come on here from time to time with a spurt of activity mainly due to social isolation.

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