Page 1 of 1 [ 16 posts ] 

capa
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 27 Jun 2016
Gender: Male
Posts: 671

09 Dec 2017, 6:49 pm

I have come to the realisation that people commonly mix up joy and happiness.
When I look back, I have a hard time thinking of a time of happiness in my life. I can keep track of flashes of joy in the instant, but none of true happiness. This means happiness is either an illusion or an ideal.
My guess is that one is happy while working for one's own happiness i.e. happiness is a regulative ideal.

What is your definition of happiness?



MrsPeel
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 1 Oct 2017
Age: 50
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,455
Location: Australia

09 Dec 2017, 9:50 pm

Happiness is elusive for me. I don't feel it in the moment but I become aware of it in hindsight - I can look back on periods of my life and identify them as happy times. At the time, though, I probably wouldn't have been aware of that.
Like that song by Macklemore, Good Old Days.

For instance, last week I was out doing fieldwork in a very scenic place and it was uncomfortable because I was being sucked dry by a swarm of mozzies, and the sun was too bright and the humidity was high and I had work to be done, but it was kind of peaceful and occasionally I'd get a view over the rainforest and down to the sea, bright blue in the distance. We saw a black snake by the road, probably highly toxic, and shared snake near-miss stories with a couple of tourists on our lunch break. Although I tend to get caught up in my work, I brought myself into the moment long enough to file these things away in memory because these were the flashes of joy that remembered together, will be the nearest I get to happiness :)



kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 77,256
Location: Queens, NYC

09 Dec 2017, 9:52 pm

Happiness is a warm puppy.

Seriously, I find "happiness" to be like a gleeful contentment.



TheAP
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 Dec 2014
Age: 23
Gender: Female
Posts: 20,314
Location: Canada

09 Dec 2017, 9:58 pm

What do you think is the difference between joy and happiness?

I think happiness is a positive feeling. It's hard for me to describe, but I know I feel it. I don't really understand the concept of happiness as a quality of someone's life. How often does someone need to be happy for them to be considered to have a happy life?



kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 77,256
Location: Queens, NYC

09 Dec 2017, 9:59 pm

Joy is a more acute state than happiness, I believe.

True happiness is "chronic joy."



MrsPeel
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 1 Oct 2017
Age: 50
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,455
Location: Australia

09 Dec 2017, 10:53 pm

I think of happiness as being more like contentment.
Joy is a stronger feeling, but always seems so fleeting. I'm not sure it's possible to maintain a state of joy.



capa
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 27 Jun 2016
Gender: Male
Posts: 671

10 Dec 2017, 8:35 am

My definition of joy is an outburst of positivity, like when you're singing your favorite song out loud with your best friends or getting a good grade at an important exam.
Happiness is paradoxical: although it seems more expanded in time, it is elusive and vanishing.

@TheAP: good question. I don't think happiness is the sum of joyful moments in time.
It would seem happiness is more of a state, like when monks tell you they have reached happiness and they will die happy.

But then, is chasing joy or happiness the most worth it?



Esmerelda Weatherwax
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Sep 2017
Age: 66
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,749

10 Dec 2017, 9:08 am

I wanted happiness when I was younger, but I wanted serenity more.

Looking back - and at the present - I realize I had and have a lot of warm, contented time. In my 40s and 50s I began to feel safer (stable job in a workplace that wasn't continuously hostile) and that made a huge difference.

Happiness for me: fireplace, good fire, warmth, brandy, cat(s) on lap, book in hand, music, and someone to share it with, to love and be loved by. (Edit in: after a good day of meaningful work :-) )

Contentment: having had all those things, and having almost all of them now, and being able to remember them without sorrow.


_________________
"I believe you find life such a problem because you think there are the good people and the bad people," said the man. "You're wrong, of course. There are, always and only, the bad people, but some of them are on opposite sides."
-- Terry Pratchett, Guards! Guards!


TheAP
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 Dec 2014
Age: 23
Gender: Female
Posts: 20,314
Location: Canada

10 Dec 2017, 2:46 pm

capa wrote:
My definition of joy is an outburst of positivity, like when you're singing your favorite song out loud with your best friends or getting a good grade at an important exam.
Happiness is paradoxical: although it seems more expanded in time, it is elusive and vanishing.

@TheAP: good question. I don't think happiness is the sum of joyful moments in time.
It would seem happiness is more of a state, like when monks tell you they have reached happiness and they will die happy.

But then, is chasing joy or happiness the most worth it?

How is it possible to reach a "state" of happiness? That would require one to have positive emotion every second of every day. It seems impossible to me.



MakaylaTheAspie
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Jun 2011
Age: 25
Gender: Female
Posts: 14,529
Location: O'er the land of the so-called free and the home of the self-proclaimed brave. (Oregon)

10 Dec 2017, 3:46 pm

It took a long time for me to feel happy for once. Happiness for me is being settled and secure, with nothing to worry about. Happiness is not worrying whether or not I'll be hurt again or wind up alone for something out of my control.

Happiness is also spreading joy to others for me. I take a lot of joy in giving things to people, and it makes me very happy to see someone smile.


_________________
When in doubt, ask someone with ASD. Chances are, they're obsessed with what you need to know. :roll:


MariaTheFictionkin
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 29 Nov 2017
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,254

10 Dec 2017, 4:06 pm

Happiness for me specifically is the feeling of being wanted, needed and loved.


_________________
[Inactive - I have left WP permanently]


TheAP
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 Dec 2014
Age: 23
Gender: Female
Posts: 20,314
Location: Canada

10 Dec 2017, 4:09 pm

I think I'm generally in a happier mental state than I used to be. I'm still not happy all the time, though.



League_Girl
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Feb 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 26,096
Location: Pacific Northwest

10 Dec 2017, 4:15 pm

Happiness; living a good life, being happy with what you've got. I think it can also mean overcoming your problems and not being affected by your past anymore.


_________________
Son: Diagnosed w/anxiety and ADHD. Also academic delayed.

Daughter: NT, no diagnoses.


capa
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 27 Jun 2016
Gender: Male
Posts: 671

11 Dec 2017, 2:37 am

Quote:
capa wrote:
My definition of joy is an outburst of positivity, like when you're singing your favorite song out loud with your best friends or getting a good grade at an important exam.
Happiness is paradoxical: although it seems more expanded in time, it is elusive and vanishing.

@TheAP: good question. I don't think happiness is the sum of joyful moments in time.
It would seem happiness is more of a state, like when monks tell you they have reached happiness and they will die happy.

But then, is chasing joy or happiness the most worth it?

How is it possible to reach a "state" of happiness? That would require one to have positive emotion every second of every day. It seems impossible to me.


Well, I don't think hapiness is the sum of positive feeling throughout time. For me, it rather happens "backstage" in your mind. That would explain why they are ups and downs in moments of happiness.


That's the interesting part about happiness ; it means something different for each and every one of us. Yet, everybody wants to reach happiness, without even knowing, for the most part, what it means to them. I don't want to go and rant on society for no reason, but I believe consumerism has rooted this idea of general materialistic happiness deep into our psyches. Therefore, the mass is no longer forced to think on its own, it just follows. I'm no idealist or anarchist, but I am convinced that the world would be better-off with people thinking on their own.
Maybe aspies have a crucial head start because we know what's best for us and what we like or not, not only because we tend to be more lucid, but because we have had to tell the difference between NTs and us.

But does that mean aspies are more prone to finding happiness?



Lace-Bane
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Nov 2010
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,592
Location: tennessee

11 Dec 2017, 10:36 pm

happiness feels to be the peace and stillness that is contentment. contentment appears found following paths that don’t cause the conscious or unconscious conscience discord, while continuing(well) a completed life of striving without striving.

have also heard contentment is increasingly experienced for frequency when satisfied with having less and less... feels true too, after having sought and found self wholeness even when completely alone in this world.

joy feels nothing more than a turbulent fleeting neurochemical high that’s no more desirable, and no less chaotically charged, than unbridled rage.


_________________
七転び八起き


CockneyRebel
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Jul 2004
Age: 46
Gender: Male
Posts: 104,943
Location: Canada in person, Germany in spirit

12 Dec 2017, 3:28 pm

Happiness is knowing that I'm living my life the way that I wish without letting anybody else in my family tie me and my spirit down. Joy is an intense feeling that I feel the first 25 days of December.


_________________
Peabody

Om Nom 2024

viewtopic.php?f=11&t=26&start=645