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BeggingTurtle
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12 Dec 2017, 12:59 am

I was actually better on friend making at school. Also most bullies these days "passive aggressively" bully other people by getting weaker people to do it for them. If not, it boils down to Snapchat nudes or something.
Academically, school is a mixedm bag. I am terrible at math, English, sciences, but was always good at art classes. I am also good with computers. I study film now; no tests, just short films or audio or proposals for work. Thinking about theatre, where I also have little issue. Also in history. Terrible at writing, but I somehow ace every exam. My grades are inconsistent, but my GPA legit does not matter for me to get a job.


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TheAP
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12 Dec 2017, 1:06 am

My school experience was probably better than a lot of others'. I wasn't bullied much, and I mostly got along with the teachers. My feelings about school were mixed. I had some good moments and things I enjoyed. But I also had meltdowns, lots of stress, and loneliness from not having any close friends. Towards the end of high school, I developed severe stress in classes, to the point where I was constantly leaving. I also had a major problem with procrastination. I'm glad I'm now out of that stressful social environment.



Kiprobalhato
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12 Dec 2017, 1:22 am

^ you are me

HistoryGal wrote:
Schools are run by dumbasses.


often this is true, or a least that's how it can seem when you're not the one on top.

i guess it's a problem inherent to schools, or any institution where you have members of one distinct generation with a distinct culture being led by older people from another generation and their own distinct generational culture.

fortunately this gap seems to close in college.


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Joe90
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12 Dec 2017, 12:08 pm

School would have been much better if they didn't use bells. I hated bells, horrible things screwed on walls that rung every hour or so and were unnecessarily loud and ugly to look at.


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GiantHockeyFan
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12 Dec 2017, 12:46 pm

Reminds me of this episode of the Simpsons.



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I wanted to beat the snot out of my bullies, but I knew the teachers would have punished me instead of the bullies even though the bullies deserved to beat up.

Same here.

If I had my time back I would have just taken the punishment with pride and yes, a trip of two to youth court would have been worth not being tormented anymore. I stayed on the straight and narrow because I thought it would be all worth it in the end. It was not: I still am chronically underemployed to this day and the bullies are all doing better career wise. I have three college degrees and they are not worth the paper they are written on as of this day because it's all about who you know.

I actually left a volunteer medical organization because one of their mandates was to help everyone in need. I honestly wouldn't help them if I saw any of my bullies dying: they don't deserve to take up space on this planet.



CockneyRebel
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12 Dec 2017, 3:21 pm

I hated school because

1. The bullies
2. Stuck-up kids who excluded anybody who was differernt
3. The kids were too shallow to care about anything other than the latest fashions, hair and music
4. The fact I had to see a counselor because I couldn't handle all that
5. The bells. I think someone on the PA would have said, "You have 5 minutes to move on to your next class."
6. I never got to take Psychology as an elective because of my resource room teacher's idea about me and that was my
special interest.


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HistoryGal
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12 Dec 2017, 4:34 pm

Trust me....I know all the reasons for dumbasses running schools. At my age, I have considerable experience with these schmucks.



CockneyRebel
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12 Dec 2017, 5:31 pm

It's as though bullies are the ones getting the teaching degrees just so they can bully autistic kids and other handicapped kids. There's nothing wrong with those kids, as there was nothing wrong with me. Those bad apple teachers are the ones with the problem. It's like they want to abuse the kids for not being as fast as their peers.


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ladyelaine
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12 Dec 2017, 6:13 pm

Most teachers know next to nothing about autism. The education programs at the colleges don't do nearly enough to educate their students about autism and all the other challenges teachers deal with in classroom. It amazes me how some teachers still have their jobs considering how horrible they are.

I too find it pointless to get a college degree if you don't have the connections to get a job with it.



RetroGamer87
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12 Dec 2017, 7:06 pm

In primary school I was a faster learner than everyone else so I was always bored. In high school I was a slower learner than everyone else so I always felt like an idiot. I don't think I had gotten less intelligent by high school but the work was so much harder by then.

I guess I was supposed to get smarter as the work got harder. It didn't happen. In a few years I went from top of the class to bottom of the class. This awful experience made me too scared to go to college. I barely even graduated high school.


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HistoryGal
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12 Dec 2017, 7:51 pm

Cockney Rebel, Retro Gamer and Elaine....you guys are totally cool!



RetroGamer87
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12 Dec 2017, 8:49 pm

Thanks. I try to be :)


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RetroGamer87
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12 Dec 2017, 10:22 pm

CockneyRebel wrote:
I hated school because

1. The bullies
2. Stuck-up kids who excluded anybody who was differernt
3. The kids were too shallow to care about anything other than the latest fashions, hair and music
4. The fact I had to see a counselor because I couldn't handle all that
5. The bells. I think someone on the PA would have said, "You have 5 minutes to move on to your next class."
6. I never got to take Psychology as an elective because of my resource room teacher's idea about me and that was my
special interest.

Yep. I had teachers who, when they found out I had a special interest, they'd actively try to make me stop studying it. If a student has a special interest that could become their career so I can't imagine why they don't want students to study their special interests.

I had a teacher who made me hate poetry by somehow selecting the worst poetry ever written and making us copy it verbatim. I now like poetry. If she was still alive I'd tell that poetry is more than just rhyming couplets.

This same teacher went on leave for a while and said "I'll miss each one of you, except for you", she said pointing at me.

She would provoke me and than act surprised when I got mad.

I know what you mean about school counsellors. Not one of my counsellors had training in psychology. They were just repurposed teachers. I had one school counsellor who proposed a most unimaginative solution to my severe anxiety. "Stop having anxiety" he said. Brilliant. Why didn't I think of that :roll:


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Goth Fairy
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13 Dec 2017, 2:02 am

Why did school suck?

1) Soooooo lonely and unable to talk to people
2) Seeing other children playing, talking etc and having no idea if I was allowed to join in or how to do so if I was
3) Trying so hard to remain invisible because when I did have an answer everyone laughed at me and I had no idea why
4) Completely exhausted when got home each day, very little energy to do anything else
5) Always picked last for stuff
6) Feeling like everyone else was better than me, that I wasn't good enough for friends

This continued throughout life. I still have all the same struggles with people at work. (except they are good enough not to laugh at my face- I have no real idea what they think of me)


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wrongcitizen
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13 Dec 2017, 3:08 am

It sucks pretty bad for a lot of reasons. This is just a response venting about everything so sorry it's long:

I sort of cling to the law as a protection. I recognize that words people say and that sort of thing literally leave no impact. They're just like little missiles being launched, and they only have as much power as we let them. But being AS and everything, my paranoia goes through the roof sometimes. I don't know when someone is insulting because they are trying to build a power structure or if they truly have some dark motive. Passive aggressive behavior is also pretty confusing to me. I feel the pain of criticism but I attempt to curtail it both internally and in verbal confrontation with people. I sometimes feel that I am actually TOO rational for this school system.

And then there's always the worry of physical abuse. A lot of the people who turned out to be assholes and fake friends were also physically abusive. Hitting was their favorite tactic. Yelling, demeaning, exploiting, swearing. I hated all of those things but somehow my fear surpassed my rationality. The truth is it was just a two way situation, with one little insect attacking another to further some motive. That's not scary, and removing myself from the situation is easier now. But at the time, I was completely submissive to protect my own back. I regret doing so now, as I've solidified myself into a place near the bottom of the social structure, and I've been having to fight back to the top so I can avoid further conflict.

But as I said before, going back to the physical abuse. School is bizarre because people can hurt you physically and manipulate you and turning them in does nothing. I'd love to get in some physical fights but not against girls, and there's the fear of losing badly. I feel a constant sense of danger because I know that everyone around me has a back and fourth power dynamic and I am not a member of that dynamic, but rather a volatile and isolated outcast of it. Another words others, people, teachers, friends, can work against me to achieve their own ambition. I've always thought that Neurotypicals were in the middle of an empathy spectrum, if we (and empaths) are on one end and Sociopaths are on the other. Sociopaths are at the top of the social pyramid, followed by neurotypicals, who disrespect and ostracize us but remain subordinate to the Sociopath (no one challenges them).

I have been trying to reverse this arrangement by "standing up" but it leads into a sort of internal battle against my fears and anxieties which I find I cannot quell without deep meditation, something I don't have time for when I'm in a personal confrontation with a manipulator. School has been a major challenge in this regard, and I find that I've been both strengthened and weakened by it.

I've been able to work on a few issues and I feel that I've become almost exceptional at reading people. I can understand so many cues that I hadn't before, and seeing as I have the "advantage" of having to design my entire social skill myself, I actually put in MORE work than your average neurotypical and surpassed a few people. Using my mind rather than my emotions, I can attempt to decode the behaviors of others to protect myself. If anyone is interested in talking about how to "heal" I'd be glad to start a personal message. I've been working on this, as well as anxiety minimizing techniques for a few days, and it's sort of become my interest. It's ongoing, so by no means have I figured this out.

Sorry I veered off of the question. This is just one of several major things I've learned while going through school. Hopefully I'll master this so "bullies" won't be a problem in the future. This society offers people in our situation protections, we just have to figure out how to use them properly.