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Shamrock
Emu Egg
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Joined: 13 Dec 2017
Age: 24
Gender: Female
Posts: 2

14 Dec 2017, 2:07 pm

Hello. I am a 15 year old female. For a while now, I have wondered what was wrong with me. I read something about autism once, and it clicked. It's like I made sense. When I was younger, I would be called things like 'monotone', 'psycopath', 'freak'. It's not as bad now, but I used to not move my voice at all. It was horribley flat. And I had/have a fascination with crimes, so I'd read a lot about murders and kidnappings. I personally don't see why that is weird, but others thought it was creepy that my voice held no emotion whilst casually taking about a dead body. I won't wear tight clothing, sweaters, most jeans, and some other fabrics. I don't make eye contact. I have no friends and can't handle social events. I'm very sensitive to light, but that may be due to my migraines, and I dont handle sudden noise very well. I have lots of 'quirks', such as: chewing on things. I actually got in trouble a lot as a child for chewing on my clothing. Pacing, rocking, tapping my feet against the floor in a pattern, I will not step on cracks, I tap my face, hit my collar bones with the top of my fingers, I sway, click my heels together, shut my eyes really hard, scrunch up my face, flex my fingers, click my tongue, and spin under lights. (I love to see the little vessels in my eyes) I can sit still for days, but when I'm bored or standing, I must be moving. When I get excited about talking to someone about my favorite subjects, my voice gets really high and I speak at the speed of light. Now, my sibling has severe ADHD, and we connect. My mom always thought he had autism. This is why I can't bring my thoughts up to her. But I still wish I could just know, because I do get lonely. I may loathe social interaction, but I wish I didn't. I really do want to connect with someone. And here, I've found so many people I relate to, which has never happened before. It's like things finally make sense, but I can't say anything. Sorry for the long, dumb rant. (Oh! And also, I have no idea why this is, but does anyone else suck at following conversations or putting their thoughts into words?)



Shamrock
Emu Egg
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Joined: 13 Dec 2017
Age: 24
Gender: Female
Posts: 2

14 Dec 2017, 2:26 pm

Also, I've had lots of stomach problems. When I was younger, I had to drink this orange fibre. The taste itself wasn't that bad, but it made me gag due to the texture. It was slimy and I refused to drink it. Does anyone know what I'm talking about?



kraftiekortie
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Joined: 4 Feb 2014
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Posts: 87,510
Location: Queens, NYC

14 Dec 2017, 2:32 pm

You've come to the right place. :D

Many people here will identify with what you've gone through.



Dear_one
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Joined: 2 Feb 2008
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Location: Where the Great Plains meet the Northern Pines

14 Dec 2017, 3:01 pm

I can follow a conversation, but am often left with remarks that would have fit earlier still in my head. Somewhat similarly, I spend much of my time trying to do English composition, and it is hard to keep it on track, let alone become convincing. Each sentence requires some adaptation to the available words, and that tends to require a new subject to be dealt with.



Masakados
Sea Gull
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Joined: 18 Jun 2017
Age: 20
Gender: Male
Posts: 211

14 Dec 2017, 4:04 pm

You sound exactly like me.
I can definitely relate to people thinking my fascination with crime is weird but I just don't see death the same way others normally do. I assume you're the same?
I recently got an official diagnosis of ASD and the people here were a big help.
I'm sure we'll all help you if you decide to stay.



Masakados
Sea Gull
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Joined: 18 Jun 2017
Age: 20
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Posts: 211

14 Dec 2017, 4:06 pm

Shamrock wrote:
Also, I've had lots of stomach problems. When I was younger, I had to drink this orange fibre. The taste itself wasn't that bad, but it made me gag due to the texture. It was slimy and I refused to drink it. Does anyone know what I'm talking about?

Also this is a form of sensory sensitivity and most of us experience it.



ASPartOfMe
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Joined: 25 Aug 2013
Age: 66
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Location: Long Island, New York

14 Dec 2017, 8:05 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
You've come to the right place. :D

Many people here will identify with what you've gone through.

^^^^
This

Is there a way for you and your brother to get an Autism assessment near you?


_________________
Professionally Identified and joined WP August 26, 2013
DSM 5: Autism Spectrum Disorder, DSM IV: Aspergers Moderate Severity

It is Autism Acceptance Month

“My autism is not a superpower. It also isn’t some kind of god-forsaken, endless fountain of suffering inflicted on my family. It’s just part of who I am as a person”. - Sara Luterman


sunshinescj
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Joined: 16 Mar 2014
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Location: Ohio, USA

14 Dec 2017, 9:02 pm

Hi I'm a 17 female who is finally just starting the process of getting diagnosed. I've wondered for a long time too, I saw a documentary on autistic savants when I was maybe 9 and I'm by no means a savant but things just felt eerily similar (the sensory/social issues) I've been seriously researching since about 13 and I've found a bit of a home here :) Good luck to you in your search! Feel free to PM me if you want to talk about anything.



AntisocialButterfly
Raven
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Joined: 12 Dec 2017
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Posts: 110

15 Dec 2017, 2:44 pm

I am a 23 year old female and ive been having exactly the same revelations. Always been awkward and though I am much better at conversation than I used to be it's always been stressful for me.

Funny enough I am pretty sure I was never monotone, but people have often confused me by saying I am really easy to read, however when they say how they think I am feeling they are often wrong. It's like I got facial expressions all mixed up. I often got in trouble because people misread me!

I also have issues with following conversation it's like my brain just goes blank and it sounds like this wall of noise and I suddenly realise I have missed the distinct words and have no idea what is going on... I've got quite good at pretending I do though lol.

Stomach issues as well, I have IBS and really really sensitive to caffeine, also lactose intolerant. Also fussy, I hate the taste of lettuce which always confused people. And I am vegetarian because I hate the taste of meat.

People always have told me off for tapping my feet and fidgeting I struggle to stay still and when excited it's physically impossible for me to not move and let the energy out somehow it feels like I am being compressed otherwise and that I might explode!

Anyway, summary is I think you have found the right place! I am looking at getting a diagnosis right now it maybe worth doing if you want to know for sure :)