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bizmack
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05 Jun 2007, 1:59 am

i may be taking charge of my office which at full staff is 7 people and i cant stop doing stupid things...although i have been working here for 6 years i get very indecissive and have a hard time making common sense judgements...

some staff in particular try to and do quite well underlineing me and this causes me a great deal of anxiety....i really want to tell them why i am the way i am but i fear it will contridict the position that i may be obtaining...i already feel inadaquete about this, but now i have convinced myself that i dont deserve this job although i know i am the best person for it....

i really wish i could loosen up and not be so tense about things in the office that i would usually shrug off...i know im being really
neurotic but i think i just need a little understanding so that i can get over myself and do the job...

to make a long story short noone gets me and it makes me very sad inside....anyone got any advice?


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girl7000
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05 Jun 2007, 2:15 am

It is a real achievement that you have been able to retain your job for 6 years, as I know that this can be very difficult.

I think it is really great that you may be promoted to be in charge of the office.

This suggests to me that you are a hard worker and are well thought of and respected by the organisation for which you work.
I think you just need to believe in yourself.

Good luck!



bizmack
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05 Jun 2007, 2:55 am

thanks a lot....i know im well respected and i do work very hard at what i do...im a perfectionist and i just hate when people get the wrong idea of me...i concentrate all of my engeries on the negative parts of me..thats my biggest problem....usually when little to nothing is wrong i lose it....


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skahthic
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05 Jun 2007, 3:42 am

I wish you luck and hope it turns out ok. The fact that you've been there for 6 years is good--- maybe you could take a more democratic form of leadership. Ask your office folks to think as well, take votes, make suggestions. As leader, you would pick and decide from their contributions. They could feel good about being such great help. You could feel better about not having to be sole decision maker. I wouldn't be able to do it, but you might be able to--- only one way to find out.



giaam
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05 Jun 2007, 4:16 am

First off, congratulations on achieving the position. I think logicaly you have achieved this on merit alone, and if no-one knows of your condition all the more credit to you. Part of being a good manager is letting people have the space to funtion within their role and ability, so if they suport and help you great, let them. I doing so you are managing the office instaed of trying to control it as some micro-cosm. The only weakness you are displaying is the lack of faith in your own ability. I suggest that you carry on as before doing whatever it is that got you the promotion, it obviously works well :D


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bizmack
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05 Jun 2007, 5:19 am

giaam wrote:
First off, congratulations on achieving the position. I think logicaly you have achieved this on merit alone, and if no-one knows of your condition all the more credit to you. Part of being a good manager is letting people have the space to funtion within their role and ability, so if they suport and help you great, let them. I doing so you are managing the office instaed of trying to control it as some micro-cosm. The only weakness you are displaying is the lack of faith in your own ability. I suggest that you carry on as before doing whatever it is that got you the promotion, it obviously works well :D


to be honest the first four years were pretty much forced becuase i was in the military during that time..the last two years have been harder then i thought mainly because with the military there are strict guidelines which must be obeyed....with me when there is grey i tend to get confused...

i try and they already think i am slow.....i try not to think about it that much and try to see things from their perspective but its about a 50/50 chance to work.. i will usually get angry from being offended or say something really off the wall or overly agressive...either way i would rather be the cool calm quiet guy that everyone has come to like, but i find it harder to differentiate between being assertive and an arsehole...ive been the "nice guy" and that role just sucks all together...


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giaam
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05 Jun 2007, 5:51 am

Is your currrent position related to the military? I was in the military, and to an extent prefered it, (discilpine/routine etc.) Have you any coping stratagies? I mean, I try and think of why people are doing and saying certain things when what they do or say upsets me. NT's are notoriously 2 dimensional and don't necessarily say what they mean or mean what they say all the time, and you could be taking offence when none is intended. I know it can be very confusing and upsetting either way. Perhaps try focusing on your organisational skills, and let the NT's get on with what they have to do. Is there anyone that you trust above all the others? Maybe that you could tell them about your AS, empasising the good points, explaning this is who you are and why you function the way you do. I have done so at work, and have been given some 'latitude rather than attitude' and no-one treats me any differently than before. As I said earlier, have some faith in youself. It may just be that due to your AS, you are focusing on the negative and what may just happen rather than what is :wink:


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Esperanza
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05 Jun 2007, 6:09 am

Whatever you do, don't tell them you're an aspie. I'll bet anything it would be disastrous. I've tried that kind of thing before. People can't deal with it. Half of them would think you were crazy and lose all respect for you, and the other half would think you're mentally retarded and stop treating you like you're capable of understanding anything. All of them would become impossible to work with.



SteveK
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05 Jun 2007, 6:22 am

Bizmack,

You are operating on false assumptions!! !! They are acting stupid NOT because of you, but because they ARE stupid. People all over are getting dumber. I don't know, maybe someone is doing lobotomies or something. Anyway, it seems NO manager does a good job with average people. It doesn't matter if it is brain surgery or flipping hamburgers, and NOPE, I am NOT exagerating.

And DON'T tell them you have AS. Chances of it helping are almost 0, but it could easily hurt.

Steve