Childlike behavior

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Hi

I am a little bit sad and confused.
I am a 30 something woman, and I like stuff that teenage girls like and I act younger than my age. I get a lot of reactions about this that are negative and teasing. I don’t know what to do.
I think maybe I should let go of all the things I like and act more mature but than I would be unhappy or I could keep doing this and feel ashamed and awkward all the time.

What would you do? And is it normal for someone who is autistic/Asperger to be an adult and work like an adult but feeling and sometimes acting like a younger person and like things that younger people like?

I would like to hear from someone.

As long as you don't screw up on your adult responsibilities, I don't see the harm in you pursuing your "teen-aged" interests.

It would be good, though, to try other interests other than the ones you presently have.

Look for people who aren't fuddy-duddies.

Well, you could compromise and sample a 'mature' approach in the situations that seem to urge it. Then be your relaxed true self otherwise. Whether this leads to greater overall happiness is for you to determine.

It's definitely a normal AS thing. I've never felt like an adult. Sometimes I really want to, but sometimes I also feel like they're the ones missing out. It depends on the day.

i am 21 years old, i still trick or treat and dress up on halloween, i watch cartoons such as arthur or disney movies, i dont wear make up, i buy toys, i sleep with a Sonic plush. i sleep in a permanent blanket fort.

try not to worry of what others think because when you really boil down to it. no one thinks of you for the most part. yes there will be a few comments such as "grow up!" or "get a hobby" but just look what it means to "act like an adult"

what do adults do exactly? socialize? drink? go to clubs? (in my age group anyways) none of these things appeal to me! some even cause meltdowns. the way i see it im not hurting anyone, i have a job. i live semi-independently. i am stable.

My advice: Be yourself, whatever the cost. It doesn't sound like the people who are teasing you are being particularly adult.

Adulthood is something to aspire to... in my mind it is not a mortgage, a house, a particular job, keeping up appearances. It is self knowledge, self regulation, the greatest degree of independence you can manage, knowing what makes you happy.

If interests that are more typically teenage interests make you happy, stick to them, proudly!

Last edited by elsapelsa on 11 Feb 2018, 6:20 am, edited 1 time in total.

They say the first 50 years of childhood are the hardest.

Growing old is compulsory, growing up is optional. I see no reason to take the option because I cannot see how it can possibly lead to happiness

I 100% agree with Blue Jay above. Be yourself. If you spend your life trying to satisfy the expectations of others, it will not lead to happiness, just constant frustration. Be who you are and proud of it. Good luck and best wishes.

Maybe learn to do a convincing adult impression when you really need it, but relax and be yourself the rest of the time? Plenty of people do that! I remember one of my former housemates was all about games and silliness in private. But she was also self-employed and could turn on this calm, responsible persona when talking to clients etc.

It's actually not that odd for people of our generation to have "childlike" interests- today's 20 to 40 year olds are major consumers of stuff like comics, games, cartoon shows and toys. If you're a geek like me, it's a point of pride. Older people may sneer, but think of all those retired guys with train layouts in the basement...

An article wad shared to one of my social network services yesterday on this very subject. It's premises was that we on the spectrum will often carry on persuits and interests from childhood longer than the population as a whole, and that forcing us to give up such things up as age inappropriate does not do us benefit and can bring on longer term problems in increased stress or anxiety, or internalised shame at liking things thought no longer appropriate for our age.

There is a judgement call to be made on this. Regarding people who might react in a hostile way to any of our interests retained from younger years, it is actually None of their business. I would not let such people know of any such interests I had, not because there is any shame in the interest, but I have no desire for getting needles NT drama from them.

If enjoying my interests in private keeps me stress free and able to deal professionally with the world in general, do my job, pay my bills etc, then the interest is not a problem.

If it starts taking so much of my time or money that deslingvwith the world in general becomes compromised, then there is a problem to deal with in a confidential manner with someone competent to assist.

I thoughly enjoyed family holidays on the beach and building of sand castled and motorways on the beach rather longer than my peers in school would admit to themselves. It did me much less harm than going boozing withv"Mates" and getting into bother and similar age appropriate activities might have done.

Being an adult is boring. My brother says that the only way to socialise as an adult is to meet up in bars in evenings. I personally am not interested in limiting my social life to bars and alcohol. I'd rather arrange dates with friends and do things like eat out, go shopping, go on an outing, or even just chill indoors if we want to chat more privately. I don't see why bars and pubs have to be the only meet-up places. If that is the case then adult life is boring.

You’re not alone, at all. I’m 22 and I own an American Girl Doll, I love Disney movies and I feel like a young teen most of the time. You can still do what you like, really. If you’re not bothering anyone, why shouldn’t you? If it makes you feel ashamed, you can save your childhood interests for moments in which you are alone, so that nobody sees it and you don’t feel judged. That’s what I did when I was 12 and played with my Barbie dolls.

I’m in my 40s and love superheroes,the comics,the toys,the films,the clothes,I rarely go out unless I’m wearing something superhero themed, i go in the Disney store and look at the superhero themed toys often,I’m lucky as superhero’s are pretty mainstream now so I don’t look to perculiar. The thing is do what makes you happy, it’s other peoples issues with it that seem to be causing the issues. That’s there problem. :0)

WoW! I didn’t expect that I would get this many answers! Thank you! I feel so supported and understood!

I am glad that I am not the only one.
And like some of you have said: I can keep my childhood interests private. But the way I dress etc, I can’t keep private so I will keep it the way I like because I feel unhappy otherwise and I have compromised for so many years and hiding my true self and I won’t do that anymore. I am tired of it.

Before I got diagnosed I thought I was just weird. But after my diagnoses I felt relieved and I knew how and why I am the way I am and I am not going to
Hide it anymore.

Thank you all. The road is difficult sometimes but it’s nice to have a community like this to understand.

I can totally relate. I am almost 25 and I still feel like a kid. I don't think like an adult. I still work and I keep up with my responsibilities, but other than that I still feel like a kid. There is nothing wrong with who you are as long as you are taking care of your responsibilities. Growing up and getting older sucks. You don't have to give up your childhood 100% as you get older. You can still enjoy and do the things you did when you were a teenager.

I am certainly not where I ought to be at my age, but I work, have an active social life and am fairly independent. However, I do collect cat-related items and I do admit to having a crush on my favorite tennis players, Rafael Nadal and Denis Istomin. I like Roger Federer for his precision and his achievements on the tennis court.