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Anayenda
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04 May 2018, 2:59 am

Hey there!

I noticed that there are many threads where people describe their experience of sensory overload. As much as I love reading all this, because it shows me that I am not alone in my untypical experiences, it is in fact not the moment of overload itself that interests me. I have learned more or less how to deal with that, but I'm not so good with the before and after.

Before. I notice that many of you have learned to avoid situations that might expose you to too much sensory input, and I'm just wondering how you learned to pace yourself and listen to what's good for you. Personally, I love dancing, playing board games and generally just spending time with friends and family. For years I've been telling myself to man up and just do these things if I love them, even if I often space out while in a group or even crash entirely and flee to the bathroom. After years of self-conditioning, I'm wondering how in heaven's name to build up habits that respect my boundaries more. I often plan to, but then I get another fun invitation and off I go - and BAM! sensory overload. So in short, how did you learn to pace yourself and to respect your boundaries?

After. So I've gone and done all these unwise things, dealt with the overload by escaping to the bathroom or going for a walk. Fair enough. But I notice that not all symptoms wear off at the same pace. The morning after, I still feel seriously spaced out. I've read that many of you drop a shield between you and the rest of the world when too much input is coming your way, this is my main strategy for surviving parties and I'm glad I can do it. But... I can't seem to get rid of it sometimes. After you have experienced sensory overload, do any of you struggle with symptoms that are more persistent, that stick around longer than whichever stimulus triggered the overload? And how do you deal with that?

I really look forward to reading your replies! Sorry the post is a bit long. >.<



Trogluddite
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04 May 2018, 10:08 am

Welcome to WP, Anayenda.

Before I go on, I should maybe point out that I wasn't diagnosed until I was 45 - most of my experiences of this happened without me knowing that I was autistic. Maybe that makes a difference, maybe not, I'm not sure - it will be interesting to hear how people's experiences of this vary.

Before

Anayenda wrote:
For years I've been telling myself to man up and just do these things

From school days through to my mid-twenties this was exactly my attitude. In a sense, I had very little choice than to do something about it, as it ended up damaging a lot of friendships. When I overloaded, I would either shut down completely, requiring other people to get me home or provide a place to sleep, or worse, I would start yelling and flailing and eventually barge my way through everybody and run off into the night, often coming round miles away from where I started.

The first thing for me was to learn the importance of reading the warning signs. When I start to notice that following people's words is getting harder than usual, or that I'm getting distracted too easily by irrelevant stimuli, I know that I need to be wary. Signs of stress, like tense muscles or twitchiness, are also something I keep careful watch for. For me, this requires a certain amount of conscious attention, as I don't read my own body signals very well - I have to run through a little check-list with myself every once in a while. Unfortunately, when I was younger, I often mistook these things for the effects of alcohol (I used to be quite a heavy drinker when socialising.)

I find that regulating it is much easier when I can be open with the people around me about what is happening. For example, I try not to be embarrassed any more to say that I need to pop outside for a breather every once in a while, so that I can release the tension a little at a time as the night progresses. Likewise, I will say beforehand to people that I may not be able to hang around for the whole of an event, and make sure that I have a plan for getting home early if I need to. I have found it better in the long run to manage it this way, even if I only make a token appearance sometimes, rather than an "all or nothing" approach where I either risk overload, or don't attend at all.

After
It sounds like what you are experiencing is a "partial shutdown". An overload is a bit like the "fight or flight" response to danger, and is a form of self-protection from the bad effects that too much stimulation is having on the nervous system. Different brain functions will shut down at a different point and for different lengths of time, depending on how vital they are for survival and how overloaded that particular brain function happens to be. Other functions might go into "auto-pilot", where they do what they are supposed to, but without any conscious awareness of acting. Unless a particular brain function is needed for a conscious action, it might not even be immediately obvious that anything is amiss.

For example, when I have an overload which makes me run away, I have been able to cross roads and navigate along countryside footpaths with stiles and steep drops without ever coming to harm, but without any conscious memory of the journey at all. At the same time, I often cannot speak or understand speech at all, or I will become unable to read or unable to remember how to work my phone (or even that I have got one, or what its function is).

After a shutdown, I am usually very out of it, and still very hypersensitive to additional stimulation. I don't fully recover without at least a few hour's sleep. I think that, realistically, resting is the only thing that can be done once an overload has already happened.

If you have a few trusted friends, I would recommend letting them know what your needs are if you are having a shut-down. Often people can react the wrong way by trying to "snap you out of it" or by adding to the over stimulation by talking too much, crowding around, or rough handling. Having someone there who knows to keep everyone's reactions calm, and then find you peace, quiet and somewhere to wind down can be a huge help, especially if the overload has progressed to a point where you cannot do that for yourself.

Prevention is better than cure, though, IMHO. So I would concentrate on the "before" more than the "after".


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Anayenda
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04 May 2018, 10:39 am

Thank you so much for your detailed reply, Trogluddite(, and how sweet of you to notice I'm new)! I really appreciate your feedback on dealing with social events. It does sound like a simple but brilliant idea to plan ahead that way - letting people know you might not be able to stay the whole evening and having a back-up plan for yourself. At some point I will also talk to my friends, but everything is so new I wouldn't really be able to tell them what I need. I guess the main thing is that I'd appreciate it if they can forgive me every time I run off to lock myself into the bathroom XD

I hope I didn't get my terminology too muddled. I think you may be right that it is partial shutdown I am experiencing on the morning after. I do think that I have also experienced overload - I recognize plenty of descriptions in the other threads. But thankfully it rarely gets that far. I generally go home before then. And, thanks to your wonderful advice I will even warn people in advance from now on so that they won't be too surprised :D
(Part of me is wondering why I never thought of that myself... =P )



Trogluddite
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04 May 2018, 10:56 am

^ You're welcome. I'm glad to hear that you found it useful. :D

One thing that I forgot to mention about "planning ahead" is that I find that just knowing that I have a plan is very helpful. It means that when I go into the situation, I'm more comfortable and my stress levels are more manageable. For many of us, stress can make sensory sensitivities much worse; so anything which reduces stress, whether it is from social anxiety or just life in general, can help to make overloads less likely.


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Anayenda
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Joined: 4 May 2018
Age: 32
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05 May 2018, 2:46 am

Cool, thanks :D