I found a cures/treatments for NT syndrome

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ASPartOfMe
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16 May 2018, 3:03 am

Are you tired of spending all day talking about the Royal Wedding? Are you sad that Paris Hilton is hardly in news anymore? Are you tired of understanding everybody else's feelings and intent or just think your empathy addiction leads to poor decisions?

I have cures and treatments I just know will work because I spent the last 5 years figuring it out in my parents basement. Works for NT people and people who are not autistic enough.

Others may peddle one treatment or cure but I have multiple ones!!

Brain Zapper $1,000

Gene Editing therapy $10,000

McDonalds/Burger King diet $500. True anybody can pig out at these establishments but only I can tell you what, when and how much to order.

MMR/fast food vaccine therapy - This special blended formula works 9.65666777X faster then the other methods. Temporary side effect is looking like a heroin addict with all the marks on your arms. What? You expect an autistic person to have fine motor coordination?

Recovery therapy $135,000 - This 2 year therapy uses traditional psychoanalysis, CBT, and ABA to unbrainwash you.


Send your cash to 222 Crowdfunding Avenue, Planet Autistica.

If you are offended by this post there is no treatment or cure that can help you at this time.


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neilson_wheels
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16 May 2018, 3:07 am



AstroPi
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16 May 2018, 3:23 am

ASPartOfMe wrote:
Brain Zapper $1,000

Gene Editing therapy $10,000

I would be interested in these, as long as prices are in binary. If not, do you add brain replacement for free? I'm not sure if I have enough to zap it, and it would be just a waste of money then.


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EzraS
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16 May 2018, 3:51 am

:lmao:



fluffysaurus
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16 May 2018, 4:12 am

This is all rubbish and dangerous rubbish at that. I have proved through highly scientific experiments using many* subjects** that NTness is caused entirely by not enough cabbage in the diet. My findings are due to be published in all reputable medical journals very soon***.








*more than one.
**non human.
***before the end of the world.



HistoryGal
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16 May 2018, 7:09 am

I don't give a tinker's dam about the royal wedding.



HistoryGal
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16 May 2018, 7:11 am

In fact I don't care about wedding, pregnancy etc announcements. Nothing special and nothing spectacular about getting married or having a baby.



EzraS
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16 May 2018, 7:37 am

Not me, I'm on the edge of my seat about princess whatshername being preggers and whatstheirfaces getting married.



ASPartOfMe
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16 May 2018, 11:36 am

AstroPi wrote:
ASPartOfMe wrote:
Brain Zapper $1,000

Gene Editing therapy $10,000

I would be interested in these, as long as prices are in binary. If not, do you add brain replacement for free? I'm not sure if I have enough to zap it, and it would be just a waste of money then.


I working on getting funding from Neurotypical Speaks for discounts.


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DSM 5: Autism Spectrum Disorder, DSM IV: Aspergers Moderate Severity

It is Autism Acceptance Month

“My autism is not a superpower. It also isn’t some kind of god-forsaken, endless fountain of suffering inflicted on my family. It’s just part of who I am as a person”. - Sara Luterman


Trogluddite
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16 May 2018, 11:47 am

ASPartOfMe wrote:
I working on getting funding from Neurotypical Speaks for discounts.

What a terrible waste of funds, you should be ashamed! :wink: The money is much better spent seeking a genetic test for "NT Syndrome" so that we can rid the world of this terrible blight once and for all! :twisted:


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Kiprobalhato
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16 May 2018, 11:51 am

HistoryGal wrote:
I don't give a tinker's dam about the royal wedding.

neither do more people than you might think


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EzraS
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16 May 2018, 12:03 pm

Trogluddite wrote:
ASPartOfMe wrote:
I working on getting funding from Neurotypical Speaks for discounts.

What a terrible waste of funds, you should be ashamed! :wink: The money is much better spent seeking a genetic test for "NT Syndrome" so that we can rid the world of this terrible blight once and for all! :twisted:


I blame it on lack of vaccinations.



Trogluddite
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16 May 2018, 12:28 pm

^ :lol:
Nah, I think the Freudian shrinks got it right decades ago - too many "microwave oven mothers".


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League_Girl
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16 May 2018, 12:40 pm

I am concerned about the McDonalds/Burger King diet, are the side affects of it weight gain? I don't want to get fat.


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AstroPi
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16 May 2018, 1:31 pm

ASPartOfMe wrote:
I working on getting funding from Neurotypical Speaks for discounts.

I just have one problem, my official diagnosis says I'm not neurotypical, but I think I must 've catched it while living with NTs. Can I still get the refund? And I wonder, does it help with small talk also? Then I would buy it for my family also... I hope you accept payment in neuros?


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AstroPi
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16 May 2018, 1:36 pm

League_Girl wrote:
I am concerned about the McDonalds/Burger King diet, are the side affects of it weight gain? I don't want to get fat.

Don't worry, the only thing you can get from them is the Asburger's syndrome.


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