What are You Afraid Of?

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Very bright lights
Loud noises
Being grabbed or hugged
Eye contact
Giant industrial fans
Bathroom fans
Crowds
Strangers
Spiders and scorpions
Stinging or biting insects
Being seen naked
Heights
Flying
Public speaking or performance
Losing what function I have left, as I seem to be going downhill
Being homeless
Having to give up my animals

But one quirk I have is that while most people are terrified of snakes I absolutely love them. In fact I breed them to sell as pets to like-minded individuals. You should see the looks I get when I bust that one out on people.

a lot of things

here's a fairly comprehensive list:

-death
-ageing
-hurting the vulnerable
-not being in control of my mind/ action
-intrusive thoughts
-losing my independence
-being homeless / not having money
-existential depression
-not dong all the things i want to do
-never finding someone to be with
-big routine changes + identity crisis as a result of them

What I am afraid of?

People in general and in particular. When I am walking alone in the forest I do prefer to see a snake or a wild boar than noticing a human coming towards me in the opposite direction. Animals are more predictable to me than two legged ones, and less stressful.

Eels. My ex used to try to convince me that the toilet cistern was full of them - right up until the point I peed myself (which he found hilarious of course). I used to have to check in there every time for YEARS after that... still not entirely convinced that other people’s toilet cisterns aren’t full of eels.

Clowns. Really don’t need to explain this, do I? I cannot understand people who aren’t afraid of them. I used to know a guy who worked as a Ronald McDonald, and I forbid him to even discuss the costume with me. I know it’s absurd, but even balloons give me the fear because I associate them with clowns... and no, I haven’t seen the movie. I think I’d s*** kittens to be honest.

Female impersonators. Largely because, to me they look like clowns, but also because one time, one of them forced himself/herself on me and threatened to tell everybody that I was transphobic if I didn’t submit to them. If I catch sight of anyone/anything I consider to have an indeterminate gender, I’m automatically panic stricken and want to get out... which is becoming increasingly difficult given that they’re becoming even more commonplace.

Ugh. No wonder he's your ex.

Clowns scare me too. Likewise masks, face paint and beards. Anything that hides one's face and obscures facial features and expressions--which I have a hard enough time with as it is--makes me uneasy.

The current beard / permastubble trend is tripping me out.

I also have a fear of change. I was juggling in my mind what to use for an avatar for the past 7 days. I've also read a couple of days ago that your own avatar can give off subliminal messages. With things going as fast as they are for me, I asked myself why not have an image of someone I admire. Those reoccurring dreams also opened a little valve in my mind. I'm also taking iron supplements and they seemed to reawaken the England neuron in my brain.

Germany pulled at my heartstrings after I posted my most recent post in this thread. I've got to go with my heart.

Snails, slugs, and fungi <--fungi are biologically more like animals than plants. Which is wrong. So very wrong. Animals don't grow roots. G*d hates fungi.

I also have a recurring nightmare about forgetting to mail some critical document by a deadline, where there are Dire Consequences for failing to do so. (Like you have to live on the street in Canada in the winter.) And that every other adult managed to do it.