Talking too loud and fast and interrupting people
I am often told that I talk too loud or too fast or both. I have no idea that I am doing so and do not notice when my voice is becoming too loud and/or too fast. This often happens when I am talking about my special interests or any topic that I am passionate about, but it can occur whenever.
I also tend to interrupt people without noticing. I genuinely care about what they have to say, I just have a hard time telling when it is my turn to speak.
Is this normal for other autistic people? Any tips to regulate the volume/speed of my voice and stop interrupting people?
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"Don't mind me. I come from another planet. I see horizons where you see borders." - Frida Kahlo
I have a very similar problem. I had speech therapy as a little kid and it didn't really help much. I think this might be common for people on the spectrum.
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"Have you never seen something so mad, so extraordinary... That just for one second, you think that there might be more out there?" -Gwen Cooper, Torchwood
I have similar difficulty. And I get into modes when I literally cannot stop talking and don't always know what I'm talking about that can last for hours, my mother calls it word diarrhea.
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Diagnosed autistic level 2, ODD, anxiety, dyspraxic, essential tremors, depression (Doubted), CAPD, hyper mobility syndrome
Suspected; PTSD (Treated, as my counselor did notice), possible PCOS, PMDD, Learning disabilities (Sure of it, unknown what they are), possibly something wrong with immune system (Sick about as much as I'm not) Possible EDS- hyper mobility type (Will be getting tested, suggested by doctor) dysautonomia
AspiePrincess611
Deinonychus
Joined: 5 Jun 2019
Gender: Female
Posts: 354
Location: at the Mountains of Madness
I have this problem. It caused me issues with my student teaching internship, because I was told that it is "unprofessional behavior". I have no idea that I am doing it when I do it, it's like a tic of some kind. I really have no control over it. It seems to happen mostly when I am stressed, upset, angry, or excited. My mom sometimes yells at me for it and says "Can't I ever finish a sentence!" I try really hard but I've never found a way to stop interrupting. I wish I could.
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Nolite te bastardes carborundorum "(Don't let the bastards grind you down)"
Margaret Atwood, The Handmaid's Tale
"I might be crazy but I ain't dumb"
Cooter, The Dukes of Hazzard
I hardly ever interrupt people and I don't talk all that loud, but I make up for it - I talk too long, I talk way past the point, I resist being interrupted (people often need to interrupt me in order to get a word in edgeways), I choose subjects without the slightest consideration of what the other person might be interested in (can't seem to get it through my head that what fascinates me won't necessarily fascinate them), and I come over as uninterested in what they say because I find it much harder to listen than to talk, unless they talk slower and more clearly than most people do.
I think Harry has a point though - people in general are often lousy at conversation. I notice a lot of insensitivity, one-upmanship, buttonholing, judgemental bigotry, and painfully loud voices. Aspies might have trouble with conversations, but for all their social skills I don't often notice NTs being a lot better. Sometimes I don't think they even want to be kind or helpful. I don't think that's an excuse for us to stop trying to improve our own performance, but if we ever get there I think the result will be wasted on a lot of folks.
As a kid I interrupted until it was brought to my attention (that is, my grandma scolded me for it.). Since then I wait for the end of a sentence and a 1-2 second pause to talk (unless it's an emergency). So now instead of getting criticized for interrupting, I get interrupted and criticized for "never talking".
It may be because I talk too quietly for some people though...or maybe they don't care.
I'll second, or third Harry's comment too. Volume regulation & turn-taking seems to be a challenge for all neurotypes.
I constantly interrupt people. As an Aspie, it is very difficult to insert oneself in a conversation. There is a lot of turn taking in a conversation and figuring out when it is your turn to talk is extremely difficult. There is a sweat spot when the conversation switches from one topic to the next topic, that is difficult to detect just before it happens. This is especially true in a group conversation sitting around a table.
Normally I raise my hand in group meetings when I have something I want to share. This works sometimes. Or I write notes and at the end of the group conversation I put my 2 cents in. But I do not sit quietly in the corner. If someone is taking my valuable time mandating my attendance, by golly, they will get my opinions, whether I break proper etiquette or protocol in transmitting my opinions.
I perform much better on one-on-one meetings or when I transmit information in written form.
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Author of Practical Preparations for a Coronavirus Pandemic.
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I end up interrupting people sometimes when it's difficult to break into the group conversation. I think hand-raising is usually only for a speaker in front of the room type of meeting. However, it might still be preferred to interrupting people in a group. I might give it a try.
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ND: 123/200, NT: 93/200, Aspie/NT results, AQ: 34
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Fight Climate Change Now - Think Globally, Act locally.
Fascinating.....even in a dire emergency my mind balks at interrupting anybody - I remember interrupting a group of friends once to get their help when I'd accidentally cut my fingers very deeply, and even then I didn't find it easy. But I don't think I'd have much trouble interrupting a person if they made me angry enough as long as I didn't expect a damaging counter-attack for doing so. I think it stems from some kind of empathy - I often hate being interrupted myself, so if I like a person then I don't want to make them feel like I'd feel it it were the other way round. But these days I sometimes let people interrupt me, when I sense that I'm going on too long - it still stings, but it's probably better than the shame I feel when I've buttonholed a person who is too polite to take control of the situation.
I have this problem. I suspect the loudness on my part is part of the general lack of awareness of my control that comes with my dyspraxia and various weird things I have gotten with my autism. I am often told by friends that the thing I was 100% sure was said very quietly, was heard about 4 seats down. I also interrupt people loads by accident. I have learnt to be very careful with it and usually, if you apologise and explain you didn't mean to as soon as you catch the mistake and let the other person go ahead, they can be quite forgiving. For me it's because I can't recognise which gaps are supposed to be talked in or not so tend to mess up loads in that area.
I have a problem with talking too loudly and interrupting. I have been working EXTREMELY hard at not interrupting. Trying to wait until someone has finished their sentence. Problem is once they are finished i have forgotten what I wanted to say.
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AQ= 41
Your Aspie score: 144 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 66 of 200
I am an Aspie!
Diagnosed as an adult
Yup v normal in ASD..
V v v v v normal everything you said..
Doesn't mean you shouldnt try to improve but also know that u have a real reason ..
If ppl know u well they can simply tell u when it's getting overboard and see it as part of you...
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Take defeat as an urge to greater effort.
-Napoleon Hill
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