Are you jealous of popular people?

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No, as a Wolf I am my own person and a loner. Am not a sheep and don't follow the herd. Popularity does not interest me. It is nice of course when people like you and you have a connection but this rarely happens. Will not adjust my behavior to fit in or be more popular though. I am who I am and people can accept me like that or they can go away.

I have no desire to be popular. I am not jealous of popular people. Realize this. Fifty percent of the world are introverts and fifty percent are extroverts. Aspies only make up a small percentage of introverts. In general, introverts are happy being introverts and extroverts are happy being extroverts. But if you take an introvert and force them to become an extrovert or take an extrovert and try and force them to become an introvert they will experience pain and discomfort.

Not at all.

Many of them are narcissists looking for ego food - not all, but many.

Others are popular because they're "in" at the moment, and I can't imagine much that is worse than being a human fad.

Most of the really solid, good, kind people I've known were not popular in the conventional sense; they were generally liked, but people didn't trail around after them and hang on to them. This was usually because they invested themselves carefully in a few solid friendships and in their loved ones. They were kind to acquaintances and colleagues but they knew they had limited time, attention, and goodness to give, so they didn't go out of their way to "charm" everyone they met. So people who were looking for "stars" to follow generally kept looking.

I'd rather have one or two solid reliable friends, people who really see and love *me* (as opposed to my hair, or my shape, or my face, or other stuff that fades with time).

I'm mostly just jealous of neurotypical people who don't have any sort of social hold-backs like shyness, depression or social anxiety. Just the average sort of neurotypical, with social skills they take for granted and are able to maintain in a group of friends that they regularly do things with like go on outings or vacations, etc. Also I'm jealous of Aspies with more friends than me. Growing up I didn't know any other people on the spectrum, so I just assumed that Asperger's was the reason I was so rejected in high school and had no friends at all at times and didn't get to take part in normal teenage life like sleepovers and hanging out. But when I got older and met other Aspies (on or offline) with the same diagnosis as me (mild/high-functioning Asperger's), it really opened my eyes. I was surprised at how capable young Aspies can be at being included by NT peers and having quite a normal social life.
That made me question myself and made me believe that it can't be my Asperger's, it must be me.

As someone who can blend enough to achieve the rank of "slightly above invisible" and has a decent amount of people who seem to like being around me, it hurts a lot and I can get pretty jealous. I can only achieve just barely the average level of social normality, and it hurts a lot knowing that I'm going to be a senior this year and I never got to have the big sweet 16 everyone else has, not because of a lack of funds but a lack of friends. I've never been to a single party but all my friends have. I'm surrounded by people who get invited to things but I never get invited to anything, even though I seem to fit right in.

I'm a cheerleader, in honors classes, I do all the school plays, etc. But it's never enough. No matter how much you try, how many groups you weasel your way into, how many titles you collect, they can always tell and they'll never truly accept you.

Interesting. And perplexing. I wish I could be invisible all the time, and make appearances only when I'm ready, on MY terms, not when it's demanded of me.

As to the OP's question, HELL NO! Jealousy is a life sucking emotion that I have no use for whatsoever.

I question the notion of anyone being socially impaired if they blend in seamlessly with NTs. Almost sounds as if they aren't impaired.

Yeah, I believe I did a decent imitation of all the correct behaviors, fulfilled all the typical activity requirements, but it's really exhausting and unfulfilling, none of my acquaintances felt like real friends, so I gave up on that. Personally, I think if you love yourself and have great confidence, you can guarantee being accepted by everyone even if you hate every minute of interacting with them, and there are people who do that, but I'm just not like that.

Regardless, I believe fake behavior just for the sake of fitting in will never get you true happiness, so maybe it's for the best.

Not in the least. Being popular means people wanna spend a lot of time with you and contact you. It's almost a bit like a small scale celebrity. Oh gad no! That is something I have never remotely coveted. Why would I wanna live in a nightmare like that?

I envy those who have the good luck to win it big time in the lottery.

I envy those who aren't cursed with asthma, allergies and stomach upsets.

I just want a safe and good life lived on my terms.

Trust me, if you really have autism. ..people pick up on it even if they don't know the term. If you pass and do ok, chances are you are not ASD...just a sweetly sensitive introvert. My favorite type of NT person.

Sweetly sensitive introverts are my favorite kind of NTs too.

Extroverts can be a blast in small doses....the occasional party and you don't have to do any of the talking...just kick back and laugh...but know their limitations and don't expect a lot of depth.

Yes I am jealous of popular precious lil "people"

It's not just peer pressure and social approval and emotional support

It makes job networking easier

Finding roommates easier

"Life" is more interesting for the popular precious lil "people" than me

The best I can hope for : to be invisible and ignored


The worst is subject to imagination


It reminds me of "you can't make a silk purse out of a sows ear"






It appears that nothing comes naturally for me

None of the Multiple Intelligences

Not School, work, whatever

Awkward

It reminds me of ",there's a hole in the bucket, dear Liza dear Liza there's a hole in the bucket dear Liza a hole" song lyrics

It's like I do not have enough resources to improve the situation:. Intelligences, $$, "friends" ,, emotional resilience, skill, authority,

Whatever





Can't get there from here

Those precious widdle people infect all organizations. That leads to controlling them. You quickly figure out which apples to polish when you get into a group. They can do no wrong. They also believe themselves to have a monopoly on God. Yup. Churches are neurodivergent friendly in my opinion.

I was popular before I hit my teens. At that point, my limited social skills were sufficient and, being homeschooled, I had the benefit of choosing to socialize with an age group below my own. I was class clown and ringleader, and I have to admit that I enjoyed those roles. But of all the things I miss about my life before I became burnt out, being popular is the least significant. Even when I was popular, I still dealt with bullies and rejection - no one can be liked by everyone. It didn't make my life easier or better to have a large and friendly peer group. I still only considered one person my friend at a time, because that's how I tick. Ultimately, I'm the same person, popular or not. So I'm never jealous of popular people. I'm very happy with the way I manage to interact with people, even with my deficits. Everyone I encounter is (eventually) very kind and friendly to me, even those considered "toxic" by most, so I must be doing something right.

I was never a really popular person. I sort of had membership in a massive clique/friendship circle back in 5th grade, but it was split when we started middle school. I had trouble finding true friends during middle school since there were always cliques that have been with each other since elementary school (not from where I was, though). My true social skills were being hidden by crippling anxiety, and I'm probably more capable of socializing than most people realize. Middle school was the time when I was most concerned about cliques and popularity. I would occasionally get attached to a certain clique and show up for visits during lunch. While some members would talk to me, others would ignore me partially or completely. I would not leave the clique until I felt unwelcome, after which I would search for a new clique. After a series of middle school rejections, I gave up on searching for friends by myself during my freshman year of high school. This led to reclusive behavior at school.

As for the OP's question, I did feel jealous of "popular" people, especially during my middle school years.