Can Anybody Else Tell When Somebody Is Autistic Or Not?

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Sometimes I think I can but I never ask them about it because I don't want to make them feel uncomfortable.

But some people give off a strong vibe. Also when you have the condition yourself you tend to pick up on some of those behaviors in other people because NT's are constantly reminding you that your own behavior isn't "normal".

Well at least the OP didn't say he/she could infallibly tell who's on the spectrum by the way they post on the internet .

It's a shame so much of the language around autism comes from non-autistic people, and their impressions of autistic people (as opposed to how autistic people might describe themselves). I think this can lead to so much confusion. Because, to me, most people don't shut up but are great with eye contact. I don't say that to argue with your or what I quoted above. I just find it funny that neurotypicals see a lot of autistic people as non-stop talkers, when I think most of us here feel the same way about neurotypicals. I sure do. The only difference is we're much more focused in our conversation topics, whereas for them the words matter less than the emotions conveyed and the bonding going on. But, I don't think they would realize that to us they talk ceaselessly, because of course the way they talk is "normal." I guess you could say we may have a narrower interest topic-wise, while they can be as narrow emotion-wise.

Also, with the eye contact, they assume it means lack of confidence because that's why they would behave that way. I get that, but I hate it, because I've had so many people insist that I'm shy or not assertive enough. But, the reality is, I'm not all that shy, I just hate most eye contact and the business and "noise" of conversation (i.e. too many gestures, facial expressions, etc). There are times where I stay quiet because I don't want to deal with all those aspects of interacting, but I think the other person just assumes I'm too afraid to speak my mind. You can't win It seems like what I have to say about what I think or feel is meaningless, even though I am me! It's ironic to be told you're not assertive enough by people who then tell you what you think and feel. Maybe others can relate.

Yeah I can usually tell, not because it shows but probably because there are those subtle signs that you recognize when you're autistic yourself. Like I have this one friend with asd whom I met online, neither of us knowing that the other had aspergers ! But this friend told me like 30 minutes into us meeting but to me it didn't come as a surprise because I had already guessed, before we even met in person! This friend of mine is very social too and has quite a few NT friends compared to most other autistic people I know including myself so doesn't have any obvious signs of being different but I could still tell from things like body language. I've also met a few NTs whom i'm sure have high functioning autism but they've just never gotten diagnosed.

The loose definition of "high functioning autism" is coming across as socially weird enough that NTs see you as different, but normal enough that they think you should "know better." They can tell something is definitely off, but seem to think it's a choice or can be corrected or there's no valid reason and you should just "be normal."

I can't tell if someone is actually autistic any more than most NTs can tell that I'm autistic. But since I'm so "high functioning", I find it hard to tell even myself that I'm autistic.

Odd. The "high functioning autistic" usually KNOWS they're different from others, but doesn't know the reason why. But society never lets them forget that something's amiss without valid reason.

Lucky you.

^Yup I agree.

You do realise I'm autistic, not neurotypical though, right?

I agree with what you're saying about how neurotypicals can communicate, but the reality is that autism and talking about a subject whether the listener is interested or not, in a certain way, and knowing a lot about one subject, do go hand in hand and can be an obvious sign of autism

I don't get what offended you about what I said about eye contact. I've picked up on poor eye contact in other people on the spectrum at times. I'm not saying it because neurotypicals say it about us.

IDK about that, but I think people have certainly got the sense I am interested so would like to interact so they might initiate interaction with me. But I can't initiate interaction with other people usually, I have certainly missed out on talking to people I wanted to because I couldn't bring myself to approach them and start any conversation. But sometimes it seems more outgoing people pick up on it and then they try to interact with me to make me feel more comfortable...but it doesn't always have that effect. Sometimes I just feel extremely akward when random people talk to me and I don't know what to say.

Yes, I know you're not neurotypical and you didn't offend me. I was ranting about my experience with neurotypical people. One of my points was that, yes, autistic people can go on a lot when the listener isn't interested, but neurotypical people feel the same way to me. They just don't do it on one narrow subject.

I know I'm different from most NT people, but I'm "not autistic enough" so not only would most NT people not believe me if I told them that I am, but I feel weird whenever I say I'm autistic instead of I'm aspie or aspergian.

I think mine you can tell with me, but at the same time, I do try to hide it. MOST of the time, it works. I just use gestures and behaviors I pick up from NTs to serve as a camouflage. But I think even with my masking, I still fall into an uncanny valley where I manage to hide most it, but those few things that stick out become really obvious. Like for instance my tendency to not pick up on sarcasm or subtext. As for actually spotting someone with ASD, I don't think I can. I've only met a few people with it IRL, so it's tough for me. That being said, I think a girl I've been talking to for a while might be on the spectrum, but I'm by no means certain.