Are You Asexual?

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Are You Asexual? Yes or no?

Why is there not just a simple "No" option? I'm not asexual but I'm not aggressively sexual. "Hell to the no" implies a strong opinion, at least to me.

I lack the desire, motivation and drive to seek a relationship but I definitely am attracted to males, physically.

Yes, I am asexual.
But I'm not completely aromantic, although more so than most.

I'm not sure if I'm asexual. I had my first and only sexual encounter when I was 37, that was 19 years ago.

Im...actually...not sure......is that weird???

Some days I was I was aromantic asexual...

I swear to God, most of my problems would magically disappear if I stopped giving a crap about women.

I'd no longer care about being short, since the only reason I care has to do with women.

I woudn't care if I were autistic, the only reason it concerns me is because of women.

No need to care about fashion either, i'm not trying to impress anybody...

My depression would be reduced, since the majority of my depression has to do with women not liking me.

I am not asexual.

I sometimes kind of wish I were but I read some social problems that asexuals have and...well, honestly, I don't know which one is better -_-

I really feel like my desire for sex keeps interfering with other things in my life. I keep reading that it's a human need to be in relationships but I actually kind of consider this a flaw in our biological programming. People keep asking me how I got so good at guitar or how I got so good at speaking a different language. It's because I spend a lot of time by myself trying to improve on these things while you guys were out socializing complaining about how difficult it is to learn these things.

I realize it's a false dichotomy if I put it like this. Obviously, I can be in a relationship, socialize and still focus on myself, but I also feel like it would be easier if I didn't desire to be in a relationship.

I feel like I need to be comfortable with someone before I become attracted to them. It's a little hard to explain and, honestly, I think I've been attracted to the wrong person a couple of times.

But it's really easy for me to get aroused which...this hasn't helped me in any part of my life at all -_-

I want to be asexual. I was not. I have sexual drive. Thanks to medications (such as olanzapine, sulpiride, paroxetine, chloprothixen) my libido may be lower, which is positive.

I am antisexual - I think that sexual drive is something bad, it is a dangerous temptation which may quite easily lead to grave sins. I belive that there would be no sexual drive and sexual pleasure as we know now if the sin would not exist.

I find sex and the genitals of other people repulsive. Also I feel more platonic love towards people.

I am not asexual.

My ex is asexual (rape victim) and I just helped myself for a year. That takes a lot of dedication and love, being a very sexual man. I loved her that much. All I got in return was hatred, being compared to her rapist. Never again.

Met quite a few women in the past who thought they were asexual, and after I helped them discover their sexuality (without any sex by the way, just talking), they were not at all.

Pretty sure I am demisexual.

At the sake of sounding really stupid, what does demisexual mean? Or aromantic? Does that mean like you don't want to be in love with someone? That sounds....lonely (no offense). If you're in a loving relationship isn't sex like the point? Or do both of you have to not want sex.. And wait what exactly entails not wanting sex? Because the definition of sexual intercourse is like um...yeah, ya know..(good lord I sound like Im twelve) but isnt there technically...other stuff? Or is it more everything's-a-no-go even-just-kissing. Cause I was under the impression that kissing usually led to something else. I mean the few times Ive let guys kiss me, they get real handsy real fast.

(also how exactly do you know if ur asexual....cause Im putting myself under serious debate)

#that.might.be.the.most.awkward.thing.ive.ever.written.in.my.life

Demisexual means your more attracted to someone emotionally than physically. You're aroused by the fact that you have an emotional connection with this person and not because of their physical appearance.

Aromantic is a little harder to explain. The definition describes it as not having any romantic attraction towards someone, but romance and love are such vague terms anyway that the word aromantic itself kind of feels like it's creating a new level of vagueness.

The most consistent thing I'll see about aromantics is that they don't really commit to anyone because I guess they don't feel that romantic attraction. But, like I said, because it's such a vague term, I don't think that means they can't love anyone.

Love isn't romance and romance isn't love and I think the time people can finally accept this is the time when we'll have probably colonized space.

Conner already explained demisexual well in his post above.

Aven wiki defines aromantic very well here


I am close to aromantic, but not quite there.
I'm not interested in relationships per se. While other people might want a boy/girlfriend, I have never wanted a boyfriend, never been on the lookout for someone. I am only interested in having a boyfriend when I'm into a specific guy. Maybe that makes me a bit demiromantic?

When I crush, I have all that giddy, bubbly feeling and think of him constantly. But I neither think of nor want to do anything physical with him, not sex, not kissing, no groping. Clothes on at all times. No showering together. (Nor do I want any of that with anyone, ever.)
The only type of physical things I enjoy, are completely non-sexual ones, like being gently stroked and only on non-sexual parts of me, and that is the only way I will touch anyone else.
The starting with something innocent and trying to work up to going "further", just makes me really annoyed, angry actually, and will not go down well. I'm not interested in that, and I don't have any drive for it, and that's not a problem.

I don't know why you'd think being aromantic is lonely. In all my life I have been in one relationship (LDR, lasted a few months). I have never felt lonely as a result.
There are other forms of love than romantic love.

Sex isn't the point, or even a point, for me. The point is an emotional connection, someone to be mentally intimate with, talk with, love, rely on, do every day stuff like cook together, eat together, do parallel activities with, share interests, etc.

I once read about companionable love, described as a very close friendship, completely platonic, and that appealed to me.

How do I know I am asexual? I am 41 and have never taken any interest whatsoever in sex. I have no sex drive, I never want to, or feel like it, have no such fantasies. Unless it comes up as a topic I don't think about it at all.
When I am reminded of it, I find the idea and the reality of it revolting. Erotic scenes in books and movies make me uncomfortable. I look away from the TV, or skim through those parts of the book when such scenes pop up. Tight or otherwise revealing clothes disgust me, and I look elsewhere. I want it all left to the imagination (and then not use the imagination).

Some asexuals are in relationships and do the act for their love of their partner. I have no idea how common that is.
I could only be with someone who shares the asexuality or otherwise is okay with it..


I'm really tired, so I hope this makes sense and makes it easier to understand, graceksjp.

Sort of. But more importantly, it means that if you don't have that emotional bond with someone who is making sexual advances towards you, it's very difficult to reciprocate.

At least, that's how I've always felt.

Being physically attractive certainly doesn't hurt, though


I don't think you're alone in that one =)

Especially, as of late, the fashion has been super-tight tights with no skirt over it...I have seen folds and crevices that no human being should ever see. Yuck.

Put on some clothes, please