What NT accepted behaviour flumoxes you the most?

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MatchooW
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10 Sep 2018, 3:17 pm

AltoClarinet wrote:
I don't get why a lot of neurotypicals like to make so much noise. Talking on cellphones in public, especially in places like buses where I can't escape the noise. Driving loud vehicles. Having music on too loud at parties, bars, etc. Listening to music too loud in headphones. Like why do you need to be surrounded by so much noise all the time?


Yep. I agree. I prefer TV on low volume, but a housemate of mine always liked to have it cinema loud, there was nowhere in the house to get away from it. Even a cinema has their volume too loud for me, sometimes it almost triggers my flight of fight response. I hated clubs back when I still cared about fitting in. Couldn't hear a word anyone was saying. I hate being in the back of a car with loud music too, especially when the people in the front expect me to keep up with the conversation.



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10 Sep 2018, 4:18 pm

AltoClarinet wrote:
I don't get why a lot of neurotypicals like to make so much noise. Talking on cellphones in public, especially in places like buses where I can't escape the noise. Driving loud vehicles. Having music on too loud at parties, bars, etc. Listening to music too loud in headphones. Like why do you need to be surrounded by so much noise all the time?


I heartily second this. Most people don't pay attention to how loud humans choose to be. Noise pollution isn't really regarded as something that should be minimized whenever possible.



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11 Sep 2018, 6:34 am

Ties and decorative scarves must be right up there amongst the most useless things that humans have ever invented. I find it totally baffling that so many people judge others based upon what pieces of patterned cloth they are wearing.

I also find the tradition of shaking hands bizarre. It means nothing whatsoever and as with the patterned cloth it tells me nothing about the other person, nor does it tell the other person anything about me. I usually maintain a suitable distance between myself and other people and often keep my hands in my pockets so people rarely offer me their hand. Occasionally if they do I will say, "Sorry, I don't do holding hands". Someone offering their hand and saying, "Nice to meet you" is even more ridiculous. How do they know it's nice to meet me. They have no idea what I am like. Obviously this wouldn't be a good tactic in a job interview which perhaps is the one occasion I would make an exception.

Much of this sort of stuff is just tradition and people never really think critically about what they are doing or saying so it just carries on. If people really stopped and thought critically about this stuff they ought to be able to understand how much of it is just totally meaningless.


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xatrix26
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11 Sep 2018, 6:58 am

MatchooW wrote:
redrobin62 wrote:
Hugging. I can't stand it.


Me either, unless it's someone extra special.


I'm with you both on this one too.

"I'm trapped! Where do I put my hands! How long do we hug for! What if someone sees me and wants a hug too!"


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11 Sep 2018, 7:53 am

Sandpiper wrote:
Ties and decorative scarves must be right up there amongst the most useless things that humans have ever invented. I find it totally baffling that so many people judge others based upon what pieces of patterned cloth they are wearing.


They’re not useless—they’re good for weeding out people like us, who think they’re useless.

Sandpiper wrote:
I also find the tradition of shaking hands bizarre. It means nothing whatsoever and as with the patterned cloth it tells me nothing about the other person, nor does it tell the other person anything about me. I usually maintain a suitable distance between myself and other people and often keep my hands in my pockets so people rarely offer me their hand. Occasionally if they do I will say, "Sorry, I don't do holding hands". Someone offering their hand and saying, "Nice to meet you" is even more ridiculous. How do they know it's nice to meet me. They have no idea what I am like. Obviously this wouldn't be a good tactic in a job interview which perhaps is the one occasion I would make an exception.


Shaking hands, besides its vestigial meaning that you don’t have a weapon in your hand, serves to size you up, much like playground bullying and the prior warnings to accept a low place on the pecking order we were oblivious to.

Sandpiper wrote:
Much of this sort of stuff is just tradition and people never really think critically about what they are doing or saying so it just carries on. If people really stopped and thought critically about this stuff they ought to be able to understand how much of it is just totally meaningless.


That sort of stuff is subject to cultural evolution. If you don’t think critically and stick to some maladaptive piece of culture, the evolution will work by weeding you out. If the status quo endures, it means it’s not maladaptive and the people who follow it acritically are well adapted to their environment. Perhaps the expense of mental energy to question it doesn’t pay off.


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11 Sep 2018, 8:16 am

I'm not fond of having to wear formal attire, as if I was a CEO of a fortune 500 company, seriously most of the things I've done in my life don't have anything to do with Business Management at all, so I find it silly to wear a damned tie, when I never learned how to do it.. :oops: :oops: :(


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huimaa
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11 Sep 2018, 9:21 am

This is pretty mild, but it makes me frustrated nevertheless; window shopping, or going to a mall, or other big store with someone to get one (1) specific thing but they are constantly stopping and marveling at every third object or piece of clothing or anything, making my brain hurt really bad. I rarely buy anything spontaneously...



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11 Sep 2018, 9:25 am

Since we're on the topic of attire, another behavior that seems illogical to me is tucking in shirts. Tucking in my shirt is totally unnatural to me and always has been. I hate it. I hate the feeling. I feel exposed. I'm only slightly "soft around the middle", but even when I was extremely skinny as a child in school wearing a school uniform, I couldn't stand the feeling of my shirt clinging to me.

I would NEVER wear one of those knit shirts that are popular with men, commonly known as golf shirts. I see men walking around with knit shirts tucked in and I can't describe how uncomfortable I'd be wearing one of those. To me it would feel one step above walking around naked in public.

I know that probably sounds weird, but it's really that big of a deal to me.



MatchooW
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11 Sep 2018, 9:48 am

Magna wrote:
Since we're on the topic of attire, another behavior that seems illogical to me is tucking in shirts. Tucking in my shirt is totally unnatural to me and always has been. I hate it. I hate the feeling. I feel exposed. I'm only slightly "soft around the middle", but even when I was extremely skinny as a child in school wearing a school uniform, I couldn't stand the feeling of my shirt clinging to me.

I would NEVER wear one of those knit shirts that are popular with men, commonly known as golf shirts. I see men walking around with knit shirts tucked in and I can't describe how uncomfortable I'd be wearing one of those. To me it would feel one step above walking around naked in public.

I know that probably sounds weird, but it's really that big of a deal to me.


I don't like tucking in in summer, but winter is different. I tend not to tuck in my shirt in winter, but wear a sleeveless vest underneath to keep cold drafts out.



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11 Sep 2018, 3:01 pm

Sandpiper wrote:
I also find the tradition of shaking hands bizarre. It means nothing whatsoever and as with the patterned cloth it tells me nothing about the other person, nor does it tell the other person anything about me.


You are wrong. But it has not the same meaning for women as for men. Woman are more into hugging or kissing. For northern european men is hugging of other men with more than just one arm or even kissing with only few exptions a really gay thing. Shaking hands is the normal way. The one who rejects this is an idiot who wants to make trouble to you. Hand moves are for men a quite important part of body language and nearly as important as facial expressions for women are.



Nickchick
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11 Sep 2018, 8:29 pm

I don't know what counts as little because all these things are big to me but one is like I mentioned in the things that annoy you thread and that is judging someone in the way that if something is too unusual to experience it doesn't exist or you're delusional or whatever. On a similar note hypocrisy gets me too..like they say nothing's impossible and to follow your dreams but they have conditions set to that to go beyond just the laws of physics.

Magna wrote:
Since we're on the topic of attire, another behavior that seems illogical to me is tucking in shirts. Tucking in my shirt is totally unnatural to me and always has been. I hate it. I hate the feeling. I feel exposed. I'm only slightly "soft around the middle", but even when I was extremely skinny as a child in school wearing a school uniform, I couldn't stand the feeling of my shirt clinging to me.

We have to do that at work and I find it stupid. I really don't understand why some men will do that when they don't have to and it's just like a t-shirt.

Interview clothes really get me the most. They are hiring you not a robot so having you dress in attire that isn't your style is being something you're not. It just doesn't make any sense to me. I understand not wanting scantily clad and not having stains/holes but beyond that it really shouldn't matter. The worst part is that doesn't allow you to be set apart like if I went for a job at a pet store I should be able to wear a shirt with a dog on it because it shows how much I love animals or if it's a design job wear a shirt that has a cool design.
Then there's the fact that white is supposed to be seen as a professional color for your job but white stains easier.
Idk I find society's expectation of conformity in general to be very stifling and useless. I'm circling back to my annoyance of hypocrisy but it's like people tell you to be yourself but then they tell you no you can't do this or that (because I hear this all the time from people who have tried to advise me on getting a job that I should just be myself and not worry about it but those same people say I gotta dress "professionally") . They tell you they want the truth but they really can't handle it when it all comes down to it.



Sandpiper
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12 Sep 2018, 4:24 am

quite an extreme wrote:
.....Shaking hands is the normal way. The one who rejects this is an idiot who wants to make trouble to you.....


The fact that it is "the normal way" does not give it any meaning. When someone offers you their hand, the gesture tells you nothing about the person. The world is in fact full of people who want "to make trouble to you" and part of the act they may use to take advantage of you may well include a handshake to convince you that they are genuine and trustworthy. Then they will defraud you of your life savings or something similar. Of course not everyone who offers you their hand has such intentions but you have no real way of knowing for sure what the intention behind the handshake actually is. Hence the gesture is meaningless.


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MatchooW
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12 Sep 2018, 5:35 am

Sandpiper wrote:
quite an extreme wrote:
.....Shaking hands is the normal way. The one who rejects this is an idiot who wants to make trouble to you.....


The fact that it is "the normal way" does not give it any meaning. When someone offers you their hand, the gesture tells you nothing about the person. The world is in fact full of people who want "to make trouble to you" and part of the act they may use to take advantage of you may well include a handshake to convince you that they are genuine and trustworthy. Then they will defraud you of your life savings or something similar. Of course not everyone who offers you their hand has such intentions but you have no real way of knowing for sure what the intention behind the handshake actually is. Hence the gesture is meaningless.


In a nutshell, hand shaking was introduced to show that you held no weapons, it's tradition. Tradition = dumb. Handshaking = dumb.



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12 Sep 2018, 7:56 am

A tie is a mark of a gentleman in the original sense. He is so sure that he won't get into a fight that he wears a noose. A scarf, OTOH, is a wonderful way to complete your insulation in a cold wind, and counts as a "layer" for variable effort and exposure sessions. In parts of India, it is used much as westerners use a sweater or light coat.

What gets me is all the Dunning-Kruger cases who think that they are fully adult because they are in danger of reproducing. They can put on a white coat and expect to be taken seriously in a Doctors' conference. When you point out that their arguments are built on sand, they carry on like the roadrunner, who pauses before falling after he steps over a chasm, except they don't fall, they just accept living in fiction. The latest outrage was learning that ship's propellers are calculated using the Betz limit, which only applies for things like pulling contests. Using the Froude equations, they could get 20% better mileage, but there would be major changes around the propeller, and the marine architects I know don't want to break tradition or take chances.

ASD does not confer immunity to Dunning-Kruger by any means, but the odds of an aspie being able to distinguish rationality from rationalization are better.



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12 Sep 2018, 8:44 am

I dislike it when people exhibit rude and jerky, very sudden, mannerisms. With the exception of people with Tourette's or a similar medical condition that can justify it, it's crass and poor form.

For example, I sometimes get on a train carriage and while I'm looking around for a seat, some people will make abrupt bodily movements as my eyes cross their path, as though they are trying to threaten me with an emission of motion.



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12 Sep 2018, 12:04 pm

fifasy wrote:
I dislike it when people exhibit rude and jerky, very sudden, mannerisms. With the exception of people with Tourette's or a similar medical condition that can justify it, it's crass and poor form.

For example, I sometimes get on a train carriage and while I'm looking around for a seat, some people will make abrupt bodily movements as my eyes cross their path, as though they are trying to threaten me with an emission of motion.

I have never seen people do that. Are you sure they are reacting to you? Do they behave differently if you watch a video of a train without being present?