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nick007
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16 Sep 2018, 4:43 pm

I was a loner who mostly just wanted to be left alone till I got in my 1st realtionship at 20. She was the 1st person I really connected with & I wanted to be around her all the time; we were long distance & it was mostly a net thing. Since then I had a high desire for a romantic realtionship but not much desire to socialize with others offline thou I didn't mind it in small doses like at work & I talked to people online aLOT. I've been living with my current girlfriend for almost 6 years now & I don't have any friends offline except for one who I only see about 1ce a year since I moved across the country to be with Cass. I love spending LOTS of time with her & I do see people & socialize alittle when I go out like to medical appointments & shopping or just walking even since we live in the city. I wouldn't mind having one or a few offline friends but I'm mostly happy just having Cass.


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CockneyRebel
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16 Sep 2018, 5:05 pm

I enjoy both social contact and solitude. I enjoy solitude a little more. I enjoy being alone and free to do the things I want and listen to my favourite music. I've been spending more of my afternoons in my apartment working on my hobbies. Less people to deal with. I spend 3-4 evenings of the week with my 2 closest friends which is also good. I guess you'd say that I have a good balance.


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RetroGamer87
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16 Sep 2018, 6:08 pm

Gallia wrote:
I often complain that I'm lonely and haven't got many friends but lately I am realising how lucky it is to have the opportunity to be alone!

If you think about it, solitude is becoming more and more difficult to achieve as our daily lives become more connected and cluttered in more densely populated geographical spaces (most people live in urban settings), internet and social media. basically our mental and physical world is more connected than ever but connection doesnt always entail something positive or healthy.

Solitude is a privilege but I don't think living in an urban area makes any difference. You can get your own house or apartment no matter if you live in the city, the suburbs or the country. Once I'm in that space I'm alone, no matter if my neighbors are ten feet away or ten miles away.

I actually like cocooning myself in an apartment building. I feel protected from the outside world by a wall of other apartments and by my distance from ground level. In a perfect world I could have a windowless apartment right in the middle of the building.

Solitude is a privilege but the factor limiting solitude is how busy you are, not how far you live from other people. If you have to work long hours with other people, then you're not alone, even if you're doing it in the country. If you have the privilege of a hours not working in the evening or weekend, then you can be alone, even if you live in the city.

For me, free time is alone time. Some people can work 12 hours per day but I can't because that would mean 12 hours of being with other people (plus commute time). Free time is also a privilege that not everyone has.


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auntblabby
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17 Sep 2018, 12:03 am

there are far worse things than solitude.



EzraS
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17 Sep 2018, 12:41 am

I enjoy solitude. I like to get as much of it as I can. Being around others is alright. But I prefer solitude.



hurtloam
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17 Sep 2018, 12:45 am

Yeah, if I lived 100 years ago I would probably have married young and had children because that was just what people did and depending on our level of income I would maybe be stuck in one room with this bloke and kids with an outside toilet. Maybe I would have had to work in a cotton mill with lungs filling with fluff everyday, going home at night coughing my guts out and eventually dying in my 40s.

In 2018 I live on my own in a quiet apartment and have the freedom to take long walks in the park. I have my own office with little disruption and if my work space makes me ill I can phone HR and get occupation health to accommodate my needs.

Yes I definitely am priveledged.


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Tufted Titmouse
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17 Sep 2018, 1:16 pm

If a person needs to be with other men in his life, that is an impediment. I do not know any men that are such. Certain I have read the byword that men are not islands; yet without an assay of this quality in men, I cannot weigh the largeness of the outcoming thereof.