Failed Social Inference from a Handshake? (a bit long)

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This may be a bit long-winded, but for anyone who reads it, I'd like to get your thoughts and interpretation. I don't know if I'm overthinking this, or if this due to Asperger's:

I stock shelves overnight at a supermarket. Not glamorous, underemployment all the way. That said, I rarely interact with the store manager, and that's fine by me. (I come in just before the store closes, work until morning about an hour after the store opens again.)

About a week ago, the manager decided he wanted to have a meeting with the overnight crew, something we've never done before, not anytime recently at least. Now, he usually comes in sometime in the morning around the time the store is opening, roughly an hour before our shift ends, so that morning he told us all, about six of us, to stop working and come sit down for a discussion before shift's end. The meeting itself was uneventful, the typical "these are the company goals, we're gonna make this store a better place" sort of thing.

About four days later, as I was getting ready to leave in the morning, the manager walked by me and extended his hand. I don't have a problem with handshakes, so I shook it, but it was highly unusual. He told me to keep up the good work. I thought this was odd, we usually don't interact, but I assumed it was related to that meeting. But it still seemed strange. Walking away, I ran into one of my overnight co-workers also getting ready to leave who mentioned it was the manager's birthday. So I went back, found the manager, and since he was being so (seemingly) friendly, I shook his hand again, and wished him a happy birthday. He told me to always strive for improvement and do my best.

The very next night, less than 24hrs. later, we learned that that had been the manager's last day, as the company was transferring him to another store. His behavior now made sense.

I asked my co-worker if the manager knew a week in advance that he was leaving, and that's why he wanted to have the meeting. My co-worker doubted it, as the company is notorious for transferring managers on a whim with less than 48-hours notice. And at the meeting, on the surface, it seemed like the manager was discussing his long-term plans for our store going forward, so it's unlikely he knew he'd be history within a week.

The point of this post is, I feel like this is another example of something making sense to me in hindsight, but not being able to catch it 'in the moment.' I knew something was up, but made the wrong assumption. I knew the manager's uncharacteristic handshake was unusual, but came to the wrong conclusion. I tried to tie it in to the meeting earlier in the week, then perhaps because it was his birthday and he was expecting a bunch of people to shake his hand. In fact, going back and wishing him a happy birthday and shaking his hand a second time may have been my attempt to try and make sense of/find a reason for the initial handshake.

I guess what I'm wondering is if this is an example of mind-blindness, or poor social inference, or if the average NT would have known immediately the manager was leaving based on his behavior, regardless of a recent meeting, a birthday, or his lack of spelling out it was his last day. Did I fail to read between the lines? I wasn't totally oblivious, I had enough wherewithal to realize something was amiss, but made the wrong inference. Would the average NT have been able to just know what was really going on?

I feel that if I were in his shoes, and I wanted to shake someone's hand goodbye, I'm the sort of person who would spell it out. Not that I'll ever be a store manager, but my course of action would be to say, "Hey, listen, they're transferring me. Pleasure working with you, keep up the good work," and then extending a hand. Did the manager assume I must've known about his transfer? Did he think it's something that would be inferred and self-evident? I really don't know. Like I said, I barely interact with him, but there was that recent meeting and knowledge of his birthday, and that's all I had to go on to try to make sense of the uncharacteristic handshake. Would an NT also utilize that information, or would it be self-evident it was a goodbye?

Again, I wasn't totally oblivious, but I "filled in the blank" incorrectly. I'm truly baffled if an NT would've known instinctively, or if anyone would be just as confused and reach the wrong conclusion. This post isn't really about the manager or a handshake, it's about knowing (something amiss) and NOT knowing (reaching the wrong social conclusion). Is this an example of my Aspieness kicking in, or would NTs also struggle here? I'm not NT and don't know they'd interpret the situation.

Reassignments and terminations are very common in the working world, especially with a business that shuffles the deck often. So, it isn't likely that NTs or you should have known about any reassignment pending. The fact that your coworker knew before you did might be because your manager felt just a little more at ease telling the coworker. Maybe they had work together a little longer and had come to trust each other more than usual.

Your willingness to find your manager and wish him well in his future work was the right thing to do.

Co-worker knew it was the manager's birthday that morning, they put up a chart of whose birthdays are in any given month. He didn't know about the manager's transfer (at least I don't think he did). I wasn't wishing the manager well on leaving, didn't know he'd been transferred at that point. Both my co-worker and I learned the following night, after the manager was gone.

I was asking about if I should have been able to infer it was a goodbye.

I probably would have done the same things.

Look, I appreciate the responses, but I'm not sure you followed my post. Yeah, it was long, but I think I articulated it properly. How would you have interpreted the situation? I'm not sure you fully comprehend the situation, though.

This isn't an end-of-the-world sort of thing, rather how would you have interpreted it all?

I am sorry, ezbzbfcg2, but I had a hellacious day renewing my state Medicaid and SNAP benefits with their nonspecific descriptions and questions, so I am quite exhausted. And yesterday, I lost all contact to WrongPlanet.net causing me to believe that I was banned or received a virus from this site.

How I interpret your experience will likely be different than how you interpret it. I apologize for wasting your time.

You sound like you did quite well handling the situation.
I would have interpreted it similarly to you or perhaps thought he was in danger of losing his job and was now trying to cover all the bases (like having meetings with the night crew).
I don't see it as an aspie trait that you didn't realize he was leaving.
I don't think you could have deduced that your boss was leaving based on the evidence. Perhaps, now that you are more aware of how your company does things, you might see it coming with the next boss, or at least add the possibility of a transfer as the reason for unusual behavior.
Bosses are not always allowed to announce that they have been transferred.

Relax. It's cool.

With the sort of day you've had, I wouldn't even waste time with a post like this. I should tell you, I had the same problem logging in a few days ago to, something about denied access, and thought I'd been banned too. So, in that situation, I made the same assumption that you did.

Ah, see, that's a good point. Didn't even think of that. The meeting itself was a bit unusual, but again, none of the other co-workers (openly) suggested it was odd. I think we all assumed it was a directive from "the Top," meaning the corporate overhead instructing the manager to meet with us. I later assumed maybe it was his way of saying goodbye without saying it. Never occurred to me he knew he was at risk and wanted to cover all bases. Thank you for the suggestion!



You know, I wonder if we hand't had that meeting and it hadn't been his birthday, then would I have been more apt to recognize it as a farewell? I was curious if I used the wrong information to deduce the meaning of the out-of-character handshake, but you're saying even an NT might have gotten confused.

I think your boss left everyone a bit confused. Most of your fellow workers probably didn't take a second thought about it since they didn't feel that their job was in jeopardy.

I wouldn't have been any less confused by that random first time handshake than you were. I would have assumed my boss was trying to connect with his employees because of some campaign from the top as you say. Once I heard that it was his birthday I would have assumed he was feeling generous and friendly for that reason.

Thank you, beady. Essentially, your interpretation of this situation would've been exactly the same as mine.

Edit: It makes me feel like a bit less of a failure, or rather, that my take on the situation wasn't completely off-base and others may have reached the same conclusions. Thanks.