What has helped you the most with facing life?

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swashyrose
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05 Nov 2018, 5:35 am

I’m exhausted from the everyday struggles in my life, social challenges, anxieties, overwhelm, stress, self loathing, sensitivity, generally failing to get it together at any point.
I’ve had therapy, I’m on meds, I’ve read and listened to self help books, I’m starting to get cynical that things can’t improve on these fronts, but I want to be open minded enough to try new things cos I’m a bit desperate by now.
What has ACTUALLY HELPED YOU the most with life?
CBT therapy? Mindfulness?
Drugs and solvents?
Some particular book?
An activity? A pet?
A video game? Philosophy?

I know help can come from unexpected places. Having a cat around improves my mood for one thing.
I want to know what actually was helpful to YOU as an asd person, cos the stuff that’s meant to help doesn’t seem compatible with my brain, except the meds do help to an extent!
Tell me, even if it’s weird, embarrassing or not entirely legal, I want to know about it!



Piobaire
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05 Nov 2018, 6:47 am

Quote:
What has ACTUALLY HELPED YOU the most with life?


The practice of Zen Buddhism.



superaliengirl
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05 Nov 2018, 6:57 am

Animals help me too. The support I get from my family who constantly pushes me and believes in me helps.
I also am quite spiritual and I practice meditation, mindfulness and other things... I fully believe that our lives are in our own hands and we can control it as i've proved to myself through testing it and seen my life work out in unexpected ways when hope seemed to be lost. I recommend it.



IstominFan
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05 Nov 2018, 7:40 am

My pets
Finally getting a driver's license at age 48
Encouragement from family and friends
Opportunities to do things
Social outlets based on my interests
Toastmasters



nick007
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05 Nov 2018, 7:58 am

I think what helped me the most was learning about myself & growing as a person & learning to accept myself & my faults/issues/limitations. I think the biggest thing that helps me with life nowadays is my girlfriend(both my exes helped a lot too) but living with her instead of my parents is aLOT better for my mental health. Meds also help me a lot thou & I wouldn't be able to keep a relationship without them which is some of why I screwed up my 1st two relationships. Buspar for anxiety & panic attacks. Neurontin/Gabapentin for OCD, Wellbutrin/Bupropion for depression, AD[H]D, & low energy(only helps the ladder two alittle bit thou). & Haldol/Haloperidol so I don't get angry quite as easily & for a possible delusional disorder.


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jimmy m
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05 Nov 2018, 8:52 am

From my perspective, the traits exhibited by Aspies can be separated into two groups. These are the inherent traits and the evolved traits. Most of the negative traits exhibited by Aspies fall under the evolved traits. They are moldable. The change agent of the evolved traits can be summed up in one word "Stress". So if you are an Aspie, you can achieve good results if you can learn him how to deal with stress beginning at a very early age.

One form of stress therapy available today was developed to treat PTSD. Other Aspies have claimed this to be effective, in some cases the only therapy that has been effective.


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BeaArthur
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05 Nov 2018, 9:07 am

Having strong relationships has helped me the most. In my case, these were not from my family of origin. My second marriage and my daughter help me feel tethered (in a good way) and needed. A small number of friendships, not necessarily very close, and good therapists, have helped. When I mention therapists, it's not so much the type of therapy they do as their openness and sincere positive regard for me.


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kraftiekortie
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05 Nov 2018, 9:11 am

What has helped me.....was realizing I was a viable person, despite what others think.

That the bullying wasn't my fault----it was the bully's problem.

That there is Beauty out there that can't be taken away. Natural Beauty.



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05 Nov 2018, 9:13 am

swashyrose wrote:
What has helped you the most with facing life?
Never give up, because quitters never win, and winners never quit.



lostproperty
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05 Nov 2018, 9:29 am

For the last decade it's been my daughter.
Psychedelics saved my life in my 20s, got me into a state of mind where I could form a new meaningful relationship after I was unable to get over the first one (I'm still not over her, never will be, but I had a period of not being in so much pain that I could lead a relatively normal life for a bit, move away from home and start a family).
Having a number of special interests also keeps life interesting, but when my daughter is away from me, I really do struggle now.



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05 Nov 2018, 9:44 am

As my favorite inspirational tennis player, Denis Istomin says, "Don't look back, only forward." It is hard for me to do sometimes, as I now realize a lot of the things that happened to me happened because I was different. I still have some bad habits that inhibit my full growth as a person, but I'm working on them.



kraftiekortie
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05 Nov 2018, 9:45 am

Double post---Sorry!



Last edited by kraftiekortie on 05 Nov 2018, 9:46 am, edited 1 time in total.

kraftiekortie
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05 Nov 2018, 9:45 am

Looking back is probably the worst thing one can do----unless it instructs you in some way.

We have history for at least one reason: to learn from it.

But we mustn't let the past envelope us.



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05 Nov 2018, 9:51 am

Work has been grounding and has broadened my understanding of people. Reading has been helpful in working through anger.



9BillionNamesofGod
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05 Nov 2018, 10:01 am

I like your question because very often I think of the traumas, injuries, missed opportunities etc. that are attached to my autism, but your post made me list mentally all the good things that happened - and are happening - to me, probably at least partly because of my autism. Over the years these things helped me considerably, from childhood to present moment:

1, Reading - I was hyperlexic, learnt to read very early and books helped me a great deal to escape from anxiety, sensory overload, but also to understand more of people's behaviour.

2, Dogs - It was a special interest for a while (different breeds especially), but have always had a great relationship and understanding with them

3, Friends - I always had at least one or two close (often autistic) friends and I don't think I would have managed without them. Even though I sometimes feel the need to completely cut everyone off, I know I need some level of social contact with people who understand me.

4, Psylocibin - I was 28 when I first tried magic mushrooms and it has changed my life. My anxiety levels dropped dramatically and I have a much better understanding of myself and my emotions. Before that I think I did not have much access to my own emotions. (I heard similar things form an autistic friend as well.)

5, Learning how to relax, mindfulness and Buddhism - this has to do with learning more about how the mind, and particularly my own, works.


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05 Nov 2018, 10:22 am

This is the kind of question that I could think about for a very long time before coming up with the best answers. Good question.

Two thing come to mind and they're both from my childhood. As such, they're of no help to others as any sort of usable advice.

1) When I was around 2 years old, my parents went on a cruise for over a week. They dropped me off at a neighbor's house. I had no idea why my parents left me there, no idea if they were coming back. My concept of what a "Mom" and "Dad" were wasn't solid. Were these new people, the neighbors, my "Mom" and "Dad" now? Who were those people who dropped me off here and left me if these new people were supposed to now be my parents?

2) When I was around 6, I overheard my parents arguing/worrying about lack of money. I heard my Dad say that we were all probably going to have to live in boxes. I took this literally and spent some nights wondering if I'd have my own box, would our boxes be next to each other or would I be on my own living apart from them from that point on? I anticipated having to live in a box at any time. I was ready for it and accepted that I would have to very possibly fend for myself from that age onward and figure out how to survive.

Being bullied in grade school and middle school reinforced that others generally were not there to look out for me.

I spent the majority of my childhood in solitary play both in the house and outside in nature.

In all, those things gave me a very strong foundation of independent thinking that children don't typically have. I had a viewpoint from that early age that I was on my own and that I was responsible for my own survival given that my parent's ability to provide for me was apparently uncertain (so I thought) and others didn't have my best interests in mind.


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AQ-43 (32-50 indicates a strong likelihood of Asperger syndrome or autism).
EQ-14 out of 80
Rdos: Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 173 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 39 of 200
You are very likely neurodiverse (Aspie)