Do those of you living with parents in late 20s+ consider?

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This is a very good point. Many autistics' environment growing up is not conducive to the kind of independent-thinking that the OP is advocating. Not only do some parents treat their disabled kids like children and seek to keep them in that position, but many Aspies miss key milestones that cultivate independence early on, which stunts the development of independent mindsets. I was kept out of mainstream schools because of my issues and couldn't learn to drive at the proper age, limiting my opportunities to create space between myself and my family. I don't think it's a stretch to say that this has affected me long-term; at twenty I'm definitely behind my peers in terms of independence. Make no mistake, I'm trying desperately to do something about it, it just doesn't come naturally the way it does to NTs and Aspies who have grown up mainstream.

To illustrate further, I know an Aspie who still lives with his parents. He isn't slacking. He's in an abusive relationship with his guardian, who treats him like a toddler while taking his paycheck. I don't know how many people on this forum are in a similar situation, but I'd hate to knock them down when they're virtually trapped in a dependent mindset. It takes help from the outside to overcome something like that.

I agree. That situation is toxic in the extreme, and virtually impossible to escape.

It's always better if you, at least, give a little money to the house as a sort of "rent," or offer to buy and cook food. Or do your own laundry or something.

That has already happened for me. I lived with my father until he died, and now in a strange way I still do. I inherited his house, and though I have a job I make money on the side day trading with his money that I inherited. So even after his death he looks after me.

Yes!

I must make this move (pun not intended).

No, seriously, there are probably 20 EXTREMELY GOOD reasons why I must move the hell out.
Toxic environment where you cannot BE YOURSELF, is like giving some part of you away...

I do all that
I think you all mistake living with parents with living off parents

Nothing in what I wrote has anything to do with living off parents. Why did you quote me?

And do you? You have an iPhone, but "can't afford" trousers that don't fall down.

I just enjoy living on my own rather than with my parents is my point. And I have learned to forgo things that I want so that I can have that freedom. I'd quite like to buy a tablet, but I'm using my money for other things to keep a roof over my head for example.

For full disclosure, my parents have given me gifts of money towards home repairs and improvements. They say, "that's what family is for." They tend to like giving me large useful gifts rather than small things I don't really need (Btw that's a dig at my siblings in-laws not anyone on here. They waste money on nonsense gifts that no one wants or needs).

Also this is more of a dig at Apple and their overpriced tat than you.

No, that's not where I'm coming from at all. Living with parents at 30+ stunts your capacity to be independent, and you need a contingency plan for when your parents are no longer around. Also, dating is more awkward when you live with other people, but particularly your parents. A girl 30+ wants to come back to your place with you and you tell them your parents will be there, she's going to dry up quicker than a puddle in the Sahara desert.

I'm not sure if this is me. I hope not because it's hard living with my mom..mainly because she has so much stuff and I can't get her to throw anything away but one thing is driving. I don't know how to learn how to drive. I don't have anyone that can understand my type of brain and I don't want to be that person who always has to take the bus bc the bus confuses me nor do I want to worry about catching an Uber. Another thing is I'm not even sure if she could do it. What would she do if I left?
She puts me in a difficult position. I don't want to live here anymore. I've wanted to move across state since I was 12 and now I need to move for my own sanity. She doesn't want me to leave her but she doesn't want to move either. Maybe she will change her mind if I ever get enough money to leave but it seems like even then she won't be comfortable with it and she'll end up wanting to drag all her s**t with her. No! I'm not doing that.



This is my concern as well. Maybe it's easier with women and I doubt I'll even be with a man I love anyway but if hell froze over and I did I don't like the idea of my mom butting in the business. I feel like she was part of the reason the only man I was with that I ever loved was driven away.

I used to work with a man in his 30s who can't drive. He's married with a child. Not everyone drives.

With regards to learning to drive, do you not have driving instructors in the USA? I looked in the phonebook and called up a driving instructor and booked a block of lessons. That's how I learned to drive.

I look at job websites to see what's out there. That's why I've had so many jobs and gained so much experience, because I've kept my eyes open for new opportunities and applied when I've seen something better come along. I don't always get what I've applied for, but I just keep on applying and I get something eventually.

Yes I know I have an IT qualification. But my point is I'm always looking for the next opportunity. I don't stagnate.

First part was to you and second was to everyone.
The general feeling I get from people here is they thinking living with family means you’re living off them, I get this from throngs they say about people like me. I pay my bills. My sister buys me phones yes but that’s about it. And I buy things for her when I can afford to like the switch I bought her.

It’s not I can’t afford them it’s I may outgrow them in few weeks then I wasted money which could been used for other things.
I was a size 42 months ago then two months ago I couldn’t fit my 44 size pants so soo I may be a size 48 and not fit any of the pants I own or the ones I bought. I hate wasting money.

I think that’s good for you, I would t like living in my own. I get the same by just keeping in my room most of the time. If I lived alone I’d get super lonely and depressed as well as be terrified most the time. I’d probably end up quitting my job and never leaving my place. I know that’s what would happen. So it’s one of the reasons I can’t want to live alone. I’m not an independent person. The seclusion would be my downfall. If I had a gf I could live with sure. Least with my family I talk to and see other people and feel safer. Plus they drag me places with them.

Most phones and tablets are probably overpriced but they want to keep their profit margins which have remained the same with phone prices rising. They make the same they did 10 years ago. I’d rather they just make the same phone but give it new chips every 2 years. But I don’t much like change while most people want change. Example most people complain about the iPhone 8 looking like the iPhone 6 meaning the 6,6s,7, and 8 were all the same design. 4 years but I was fine with it. If it isn’t broke don’t fix it.
This whole all screen display craz andnpeiple complaining about bezels, it drives the prices up. Apple is changing through. Smart phone sales are dropping, everyone has one most don’t upgrade even every 2 years. So apple is supporting 7 years of phones now with no plans to drop the 5 any time soon. Phone makers are instead looking towards software and subscription services like Apple Music and streaming movies. Streaming is in a rut too though every company and their uncle are making streaming services and charging $20-30 a month each.

For me I like my electronics they bring me what little joy I have in life without them is probably just kill myself as I’d have nothing.
I don’t make enough to afford a car anyways. I’d have to use every penny I own to buy a crappy one and I then couldn’t afford to drive it at most I might afford the insurance, just to have it sit. It’s $150ish every 2 years just to own a car and $70 a month for min insurance.
$25 a month for bus and then there’s fact I can’t save over $2,000
So I have to spend my money, I try to buy things that will hold value and that I’ll use.
I technically shouldn’t collect coins as I see it as a hobby they see it as investment. :/

Edit
Forgot to mention my current pants that fall down are the right size as I’m to fat for 44 now and they don’t make size 45 pants.

Last edited by sly279 on 08 Dec 2018, 7:03 am, edited 1 time in total.

How so?
I wouldn’t let a woman come back to my place.

Lady I’m currently talking row lives with her mom and other family.

First to the a you’re earlier post there are driving schools
I took driving school as my family wouldn’t teach me

I can only work 16 hours a week, no one is going hire me , my current job wouldn’t have hired me and they’d fire me in a second if I wasn’t disabled and have a official ada accomdation. If they fire me they’d be sued and lose. They’d get fined also.
So they keep me working and made a fake position for me but atleast I’m working something right?

You'd probably be expected to take her back to yours, unless she wanted to go to her place.

From where I live, it's very different.
Living with parents at age 40+, even with high pay job, married and with children -- heck, with grandchildren, is no surprise.
Sure, even said successful child could move out alright -- and be their parents' neighbor.

Having to live with parents doesn't have to involve the child lacking independence or even capacity.
It's usually the other way around here; the children who gets to stay with their parents takes care of their elderly parents, grandparents, and the disabled in the household.
And this is the role I'd voluntarily take, socially expected or not. This is pretty much my 'next step' at all.

If my parents are no longer here? I plan to move out far, far away alone. That's all I know so far. If I cannot do that, then I volunteer to take care the closest elderly relatives, along with those who had been taking care of them. Or move in with my sister, solely for the sake of making others stop worrying about me.