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Pyromanic
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02 Jan 2019, 9:53 pm

As said countless times before, autism is a very wide spectrum and the different symptoms effect people to varying degrees. So my question to you all is, how far into the autism spectrum do you believe yourself to be? What unique challenges (and perks) has being on the autism spectrum given you, and what do you do to face those challenges and discover the perks? Can people easily tell if you have autism, or do you have to tell them? How do you typically interact with other people on the spectrum?

I'll begin with myself. I'd say for me it is mild, but used to be pretty severe as a child. I USED to do really noticeable stimming such as arm flapping and spinning in public, but now I just roll up paper balls in my fingers or even type like I am right now to comfort myself, I also find I prefer to use pencils when doing math and that may be stimming related. Socially I am decent and extroverted but will go through moments of introversion after extended time in social situations that overwhelm me. People can tell I am different but they take it more as wittiness/quirkiness, and I genuinely make them laugh and entertain them so they enjoy me anyway. Special interests over the years have been strong and varied, from Shrek (HARTY HAR HAR) to 80s aesthetics. I react horribly to change, and occasionally take things literal but have gotten better. I tend to bottle my emotions and approach things with analysis and logic even when they are of a more social nature. I think my autism enables me to focus on things I like and I see that as a perk, I also see the more analytical view of the world I view to be a perk and actually enjoy my moments of "overthinking" even if others do not appreciate. I've learned that ego can be good, and embrace it for that reason. The less I care about how people think (without harming others) the more people seem to like me, anyway.

Ok, your turn!


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quite an extreme
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02 Jan 2019, 10:07 pm

There is currently a poll: viewtopic.php?t=358694


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Pyromanic
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02 Jan 2019, 10:11 pm

quite an extreme wrote:
There is currently a poll: viewtopic.php?t=358694


I'm more interested in the personal, more detailed accounts but this is helpful. Thanks!


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lostonearth35
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02 Jan 2019, 11:58 pm

Apparently I'm "high-functioning" because:

I'm verbal.

I can usually make eye contact for certain amounts of time.

I can have two-way conversations with one other person.

I don't stim, or at least not in a way that makes people notice or care.

I can usually understand jokes or sarcasm.

I don't have meltdowns constantly.

I don't "look autistic". :roll:

But on the other hand:

Just going to the store to buy groceries or waiting for a cab can be very stressful.

I don't have a job.

I spend most of my time alone (and usually prefer to be).

I have very low frustration tolerance.

I sometimes have to remind myself to bathe or even eat.

I find sudden last-minute changes in my schedule or plans to be very uncomfortable, even if I intellectually know that sometimes it can't be helped.

When people are planning to come see me I NEED to know just how long in a specific number of minutes. If they say "Soon" or "in a little while", I am very annoyed and stressed by their vagueness, which why I hate the cabs.

I hate interruptions and having to suddenly move from one activity to another.

I prefer practical comfortable clothing and hate the textures of many clothes and most cosmetics.

I lose focus easily to the point where I can only watch 3 minute YouTube videos or read comic strips.


And that's why I hate the functioning labels so much. If you're "high functioning" it's like people think that you shouldn't have any problems at all and have an unrealistically high expectation of you.



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03 Jan 2019, 12:22 am

Degree is the wrong word- all of us are 100% autistic, but I'll try to answer what you mean.

I have no clue what my functioning level would be and at my diagnosis wasn't given one. I feel for me it is not easy to say. I also have several comorbids. This won't be everything but;

I had toilet training delays and motor delays
My sensory processing is one of the worst of anyone I have meant
Meltdowns and shutdowns are not unusual for me
I didn't have a speech delay but lose speech temperately under stress
I stim a lot, including some self harmful stims (Biting myself, scratching myself)
I struggle with multiple step directions
I have learning difficulties especially with math, I struggle with even basic math (In areas of interest I excel)
I have had issues with sleeping most of my life
I struggle with chores and being able to keep up with things

On the other hand,

I plan to go to collage
I want to live on my own one day
I want to hold a job (Haven't gotten the chance to try above or this yet)
In many areas people see me as very intelligent
I'm told I have good self insight and as such can often compensate for my issues
My special interests are likely to help me with this


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Fern
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03 Jan 2019, 1:45 am

I've faced my own struggles, but I am aware of how lucky I've been. All in all I'd say I'm not that autistic (though I don't think that's the proper way to say so).

Unlike a lot of aspies, or NTs for that matter- I actually began speaking quite early, when I was less than a year old. I had a moderate speech impediment that made it hard for people to understand me though, so I ended up going to speech therapy from when I was about three until kindergarten. Even though I could read by age 4, I struggled a lot in school as a kid, particularly when it came to tasks where I was expected to change my routine and organizational system to that of each different teacher. So as school went on and "following arbitrary directions" was less and less of a focus, I did better and better. I used to have special testing accommodations up until part-way through college, but with practice and a good deal of hard work I managed to get to a point where I didn't need them anymore, and so I was able to take the standard GRE and went through a normal graduate program without any accommodations.

Unlike a lot of aspies (or so I've gathered) I've always been rather outgoing. I like introducing myself to new people at social gatherings and performing my favorite party tricks and jokes. I think I'm pretty friendly, but I've had people tell me I can be annoying or too intense because I don't always "read the room" and I tend to take over conversations when I get overly excited. I've gotten better at this with time though.

Even though I'm not shy or introverted per-se, there's always going to be an important part of me that only exists in moments where I am away from the great crawfish hole of human society. I have a very quiet step and I like to walk alone, so I often find myself in situations where something really beautiful happens and I am the only one to see it. Coming around the bend of a trail to witness a herd of elk grazing on dewy morning ground-cover... sitting on the top of a hill in a remote forest at night and watching heat lightning rolling in miles away... watching a grey fox with her pups walk right past me, as if I were just part of the scenery. These are the times when I know that I have led a good life, even just to be an unimportant witness. I think it may be a feeling not everyone can understand.

As an adult, I have the great fortune of working in a field where neurodiversity is rather treasured. There are also so many awkward and annoying people in science that I seldom feel like I'm the worst at socializing in my workplace :lol: . I guess people expect scientists to be quirky, because no one finds it odd when I do things like plug my ears at the sound of the bathroom hand dryer or mess up my hair while I'm thinking. :nerdy:

I have my struggles with some things still:

- balancing my love for live music and my hatred for stupidly unnecessary loud sounds
- figuring out how to tell when my boyfriend wants to talk about something that's bothering him (I think I've finally got it: He asks me how my day was when he really wants to talk about HIS DAY)
- tenure track job interviews... enough said
- some days it can be hard for me to get out of a worry rut. I can see them for what they are now, but they still come and go.

All in all I can't complain though. I'm happy with how my life has turned out. Whatever else I get on top of this is just the icing on the cake in my opinion.


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Pyromanic
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03 Jan 2019, 2:00 am

Fern wrote:
I've faced my own struggles, but I am aware of how lucky I've been. All in all I'd say I'm not that autistic (though I don't think that's the proper way to say so).

Unlike a lot of aspies, or NTs for that matter- I actually began speaking quite early, when I was less than a year old. I had a moderate speech impediment that made it hard for people to understand me though, so I ended up going to speech therapy from when I was about three until kindergarten. Even though I could read by age 4, I struggled a lot in school as a kid, particularly when it came to tasks where I was expected to change my routine and organizational system to that of each different teacher. So as school went on and "following arbitrary directions" was less and less of a focus, I did better and better. I used to have special testing accommodations up until part-way through college, but with practice and a good deal of hard work I managed to get to a point where I didn't need them anymore, and so I was able to take the standard GRE and went through a normal graduate program without any accommodations.

Unlike a lot of aspies (or so I've gathered) I've always been rather outgoing. I like introducing myself to new people at social gatherings and performing my favorite party tricks and jokes. I think I'm pretty friendly, but I've had people tell me I can be annoying or too intense because I don't always "read the room" and I tend to take over conversations when I get overly excited. I've gotten better at this with time though.

Even though I'm not shy or introverted per-se, there's always going to be an important part of me that only exists in moments where I am away from the great crawfish hole of human society. I have a very quiet step and I like to walk alone, so I often find myself in situations where something really beautiful happens and I am the only one to see it. Coming around the bend of a trail to witness a herd of elk grazing on dewy morning ground-cover... sitting on the top of a hill in a remote forest at night and watching heat lightning rolling in miles away... watching a grey fox with her pups walk right past me, as if I were just part of the scenery. These are the times when I know that I have led a good life, even just to be an unimportant witness. I think it may be a feeling not everyone can understand.

As an adult, I have the great fortune of working in a field where neurodiversity is rather treasured. There are also so many awkward and annoying people in science that I seldom feel like I'm the worst at socializing in my workplace :lol: . I guess people expect scientists to be quirky, because no one finds it odd when I do things like plug my ears at the sound of the bathroom hand dryer or mess up my hair while I'm thinking. :nerdy:

I have my struggles with some things still:

- balancing my love for live music and my hatred for stupidly unnecessary loud sounds
- figuring out how to tell when my boyfriend wants to talk about something that's bothering him (I think I've finally got it: He asks me how my day was when he really wants to talk about HIS DAY)
- tenure track job interviews... enough said
- some days it can be hard for me to get out of a worry rut. I can see them for what they are now, but they still come and go.

All in all I can't complain though. I'm happy with how my life has turned out. Whatever else I get on top of this is just the icing on the cake in my opinion.


Apologies if the wording of the post title seemed improper, I was just trying to be concise but accurate. I'm kind of like how you described, when my energy levels are up (particularly from caffeine intake) I can get extremely talkative and dominate conversations to a high degree making me simultaneously annoying and fun to be around. This made me very effective at debates in my classes in high school actually, I was able to move the room because I came at everything from an individualistic, unique perspective that enthralled and entertained the entire room.


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03 Jan 2019, 6:30 am

I'm more severe than I appear or how I should be.
Not because of things I have to deal with and the shortcomings and I don't mean that the subjective way, but because the fundamental things are overlooked by everything else.

I will never say I'm 'lucky' to be 'high functioning' or 'less severe'.
More like I'm 'lucky' because I have tons of work arounds and backups to access from within and without -- that, and without spreading myself thin or leading to exhaustion like most 'high functioning' autistics do.

I'm lucky to live in an accepting region and born in an accepting family.
I'm lucky because I'm don't deal with clumsiness since birth.
I'm lucky because my 'habits' happened to be productive.
I'm lucky to be born a female, to be included with and had more lenient with.
I'm lucky I stumbled upon a mental work around and become less tolerant or aversive with everything.
I'm lucky enough that my pride works with me well enough, as was my love towards my family kept me from isolation and drive me to be stronger.
I'm lucky that I have less want and let alone be needy for a relationship, yet that doesn't stop me from being fulfilled.
Even luckier the fulfillment doesn't lead to some gap or space that needs filling.
I'm lucky that I found my learning style early, that I don't have to struggle at school and misdiagnosed with some learning disability.

And so on, and so on...



I'm 'high functioning' because:

-My below average verbal IQ does not disqualify me from Aspergers diagnosis, because I have no speech delay. Just verbal enough to qualify.

-Early developmental milestones are pretty much on time or ahead.

-My nonverbal strengths overlooks many things, including language issues.

-Especially when motor coordination is concerned. Therefore there's not clumsiness to deal with, body language is easier, daily tasks can be carried out no problem, social inclusion, and so on and so on...

-I started out as a sensory-seeking child who craves touch. People just thought I'm very affectionate and expressively emotional.

-Like how most females are sometimes overlooked, if I'm withdrawn it passes off as 'shyness'. The opposite too; if I'm a reckless chatterbox it passes off as 'social', instead of 'active but odd' because I don't look clumsy enough or I don't excessively talk about my special interest.

-I have enough daily living skills throughout the day. More so if it's just for myself.

-I have a fulltime job.

-My sensory issues are mostly minimal overall all my life.

-I don't deal with any comorbids other than sleep issues.

-Most of all, I can 'pass'. :roll: And I don't do rehearsals. Heck, rehearsals may even make me worse.



The main thing that gets in my way...

-I'm socially and emotionally delayed. Doesn't matter if I have years of fulfillment and inclusion to savor; 'learning osmosis' doesn't happen nor stimulates interest and motivation. This leads to intolerances and my diagnosis.
If I were an NT with that kind of fulfillment and inclusion, I would have social skills and emotional intelligence much better than an average NT.

-My language issues goes in various ways; even little to do with using or comprehending language even like memory and auditory filtering.

-My working memory sucks. Something either a gear left rusted or without an oil, or missing. Therefore;

-My short term memory is worse off.

-Even with all the non verbal strengths, doesn't stop me from breaking things or bumping into things either by being overwhelmed and losing sense of space, or having a somewhat permanently non-inhabituated muscle power.
But the latter is supposedly the opposite issue, right?

-The usual social stuff; nonconforming, bad at fashion, some cluelessness, asexuality, lack of interest with relationships, etc.


Yet:

-People don't know I stim a lot because my stims are passed off as 'productive'. In a practical sense. Does one think that 'walking for miles to save fare money' and 'crafting sellable items' as an 'apparently disruptive and repetitive movement'? :lol:

-For all things that how females are misdiagnosed with, I'm not misdiagnosed. Does that also mean I'm 'severe enough' not to 'pass' to misdiagnosis?

-My overall performance is inconsistent. It all entirely depends if my sleep reaches mental restorative state at all. And it's a damn rare thing, I've been deal with sleep issues since 8.

-I'm withdrawn in a sense that I want to do things my own pace and my own way. Too much interferences may give me confusion or wrong ideas.

-I live in an open city most of my life. Therefore, I barely have to make an effort to blend in really.

-I learnt 'empathy' too early than I should. The understandings doesn't make me sympathethic or compassionate, it makes me apathetic and annoyed with 'ought's and 'should's.

-I never liked routines and strictness. I don't pride myself as punctual. I do most things on a whim -- not very aspie-like.

-I learned how to take change at sometime. Because I aim to handle or even take advantage of the chaos around me than just cope and deal with it.

-While I'm usually confident enough, with or without it I can also choose to be reckless against uncertainties.

-I don't sought out relationships. But if it happens, it's a bonus.

-As a child, I'm a sensory seeker right? But not the reckless and needy kind.

-I'm too emotional, I don't like it. I've been fighting it for as long as I could remember. A deeper part me me hates being moody and open, a base part of me does like it justified by it's fulfillments fulfilled.
Because of this, I'm easily frustrated and easy to guilt. But because of this, it's easy for me to sense which is which, it mutes most alexithymic traits.

-I don't talk about my special interests. Ever. I'd likely keep it to myself, and it doesn't matter if it's trendy or obscure -- I like my secrets.




And there are more than that. It's either too complicated to explain or that I couldn't recall just yet.


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The Grand Inquisitor
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03 Jan 2019, 8:50 am

- I don't really have meltdowns (though I did as a kid)
- Sensory issues are largely not a problem for me, except for a handful of textures and having a lot of food aversion/being a picky eater
- Restricted/repetitive interests apply to me
- I think it would be fair to say that I'm kind of 'awkward', at least sometimes
- I'm pretty introverted most of the time, and I rarely initiate activities with friends, though when they want me to participate I tend to oblige
- I too use logic to make sense of the world around me, including in social situations. I can use logic to determine how others might be feeling when I can't pick up on non-verbal cues
- People could in all fairness say I have a propensity for being obsessive.
- I have a poorer short-term memory but a relatively acute long-term memory
- I sometimes have to 'psych myself up' to make phone calls that need to be made and that sort of thing.
- I find it quite difficult to socialise in large group settings where I only know a couple of people, or especially if I know no-one there.
- I don't tend to take last-minute changes well if I've planned my day/time a certain way



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03 Jan 2019, 9:08 am

Pretty mild.

Only diagnosed at 36, married, parent, always been employed, home owner, left home at 19.

I find socialising hard, prefer to be alone much of the time, find eye contact hard, am very strict on my eating, finding breaking routines hard, I am told I react disproportionately to unexpected events or changes. Lack logical thinking on many physical tasks (DIY, electrics, plumbing etc), I either research something fully and am knowledgeable on it or I dont even understand the basics of it and it makes no sense to me



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03 Jan 2019, 9:32 am

I've been studying how gender interacts with socializing so I've been getting very good at passing as "NT."

Extremely autistic in that I learn far more and far more quickly than the average person.
Cross dominant. I can butcher meat with either hand using very sharp knives. Just got myself a vegetable knife. I've gotten much better at eating a variety of foods by cooking for myself.

I can listen to the same song over and over again all evening long. And eat the same thing day after day until I finally get the recipe right. Very good math, writing, and memory skills. I don't do meetings. At work, if I have an idea I'll just tell the appropriate person and let them decide what to do with it. I've learned to encourage the other person to talk, even though I remember what the other person has said before months earlier. Showing off memory skills makes NTs nervous.



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03 Jan 2019, 10:11 am

I am officially diagnosed with Asperger's. That's "to what degree" I am autistic. I believe this is one of those kinds of posts that people expect to find more than a brief line, though. The minutia goes as follows.

I have a job, live by myself and lead a totally autonomous, independant life. I don't think I look all that ugly, scary nor dangerous.
However, people might notice there's something a little off just by looking at me, then they proceed to treat me as if I were a criminal, stalker or something like that.
It's not uncommon that they see me coming and cross to the other side of the street.

I'm highly skilled, creative and intelligent. To all effects I function like a normal person. Only that I'm not! That's more than a problem because people tend to have the highest expectations from someone with my qualifications whilst I may not be able to fulfill them.

There are tasks that I cannot perform as a normal person would, so I take shortcuts, make use of tools and other workarounds that wouldn't otherwise be necessary by other people. I try not to let other people know about this, because if they see me i.e. doing math with my fingertips, they will humiliate me.

I have trouble trying to get organised. I've met many people who are a lot more disorganised than I am, yet in a totally different way. This is a little hard to explain and I'm trying to make this short but, while I am able to carry on very complex tasks and solve complicated problems, my mind is still somewhat inefficient trying to piece things together.

I prefer to be alone. I had girlfriends in the past but some time ago, I took the decision not to pursue any more relationships. I don't feel comfortable around women any more. I think it's best if they leave me alone and it's most honest of me if I leave them alone as well. People have been trying to hook me up and some opportunities happened, but I'm always declining. I am becoming more and more isolated as time goes by.

I am hypersexual, from what it looks like. However, this comes in alternate waves. There are periods of desire interleaved with absolute disregard for whatever matters about sex.

Periodically, I have moderate to severe crisis of depression. In fact, I don't look all that happy most part of the time. My face can't fake it. I feel miserable and it shows.

I'm not on meds any more but I went through so many of them that I can't recall all the names. Also, I must say the majority of meds did more harm than good. I am not going back to meds ever again.

I am not that good at improvising and I don't like surprises. I try not to demonstrate how frustrated I become when someone shows up unannounced, things like that.

I am very passionate about certain things and my emotions are always very intense. From observing others, I can tell for sure that I don't feel like they do.

I do stim constantly. I wasn't aware of that until some years ago. I struggled to fit in so badly that I learned do "weird autistic things" in private and this became second nature.

I know many of these aren't strictly related to ASD but as a whole they configure a typical picture, I guess. I could keep on writing but I believe this will be enough.



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03 Jan 2019, 12:29 pm

MagicKnight wrote:
I am officially diagnosed with Asperger's. That's "to what degree" I am autistic. I believe this is one of those kinds of posts that people expect to find more than a brief line, though. The minutia goes as follows.

I have a job, live by myself and lead a totally autonomous, independant life. I don't think I look all that ugly, scary nor dangerous.
However, people might notice there's something a little off just by looking at me, then they proceed to treat me as if I were a criminal, stalker or something like that.
It's not uncommon that they see me coming and cross to the other side of the street.

I'm highly skilled, creative and intelligent. To all effects I function like a normal person. Only that I'm not! That's more than a problem because people tend to have the highest expectations from someone with my qualifications whilst I may not be able to fulfill them.

There are tasks that I cannot perform as a normal person would, so I take shortcuts, make use of tools and other workarounds that wouldn't otherwise be necessary by other people. I try not to let other people know about this, because if they see me i.e. doing math with my fingertips, they will humiliate me.

I have trouble trying to get organised. I've met many people who are a lot more disorganised than I am, yet in a totally different way. This is a little hard to explain and I'm trying to make this short but, while I am able to carry on very complex tasks and solve complicated problems, my mind is still somewhat inefficient trying to piece things together.

I prefer to be alone. I had girlfriends in the past but some time ago, I took the decision not to pursue any more relationships. I don't feel comfortable around women any more. I think it's best if they leave me alone and it's most honest of me if I leave them alone as well. People have been trying to hook me up and some opportunities happened, but I'm always declining. I am becoming more and more isolated as time goes by.

I am hypersexual, from what it looks like. However, this comes in alternate waves. There are periods of desire interleaved with absolute disregard for whatever matters about sex.

Periodically, I have moderate to severe crisis of depression. In fact, I don't look all that happy most part of the time. My face can't fake it. I feel miserable and it shows.

I'm not on meds any more but I went through so many of them that I can't recall all the names. Also, I must say the majority of meds did more harm than good. I am not going back to meds ever again.

I am not that good at improvising and I don't like surprises. I try not to demonstrate how frustrated I become when someone shows up unannounced, things like that.

I am very passionate about certain things and my emotions are always very intense. From observing others, I can tell for sure that I don't feel like they do.

I do stim constantly. I wasn't aware of that until some years ago. I struggled to fit in so badly that I learned do "weird autistic things" in private and this became second nature.

I know many of these aren't strictly related to ASD but as a whole they configure a typical picture, I guess. I could keep on writing but I believe this will be enough.


I understand the bit about meds. I've mostly avoided them but recently got off Adderall. Problem was it sent my sensory stuff into overdrive despite the cognitive benefits and I had to switch to Vyvanse.


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03 Jan 2019, 12:42 pm

I'm autistic to a lesser degree but that doesn't mean it doesn't affect my life.

I've always been sociable, but shy. I was a sociable baby, and growing up I loved company of other children and I hated being alone. I even enjoyed social events like birthday parties, and I could be very chatty if I was comfortable around people. But I was shy in class, like I was afraid to speak up or join in activities, although with a little encouragement I did succeed socially in a group activity. But among groups I could be clingy and demanding, and I suppose I missed some important social cues.
I was a hyperactive child. If I was in a small group of children whom I was comfortable with, I would show off, be class clown, and annoy the teacher. But if I was in a bigger group (like the whole class), I turned into a timid, quiet girl with sudden stage fright. I don't know why.
I had a habit of whinging a lot as a child, which teachers and children and family would often point out. But I didn't know how to not whinge. I suppose I just didn't hear myself. But the more people told me to stop whinging, the more I would whinge because I hated being misunderstood. I lost friends because of it.
But I loved people. I loved drawing people, writing stories about people, and making my toys socially interact. I had a wild imagination too.
I didn't have any special interests until the age of 11.

As a teenager I was very weird. I done things a more severely affected autistic person would do, and I don't know why, because I knew better but I still did these strange things. I think it was a mixture of loneliness and anxiety. I was the loneliest I had ever been in my life and I spiralled into depression, so that contributed to my strange intentions. :oops:
Also I developed obsessions that I let take over my life, putting them before my schoolwork and homework. My grades dropped because of it, and once again I lost friends, but I kept it from my parents because I didn't want to worry or disappoint them.

But by about the age of 16 I became responsible for my actions again. I learnt that my actions have consequences and I also knew that I wasn't a little kid any more. I told my mum everything and she helped me work better on my social skills to enter adult life with.

I was still a bit foolish with men but in a more socially acceptable manner and age-appropriate. Then I learnt more as I got older.
As a 28-year-old I don't do too badly. I'm in a relationship and have moved out of my parents house. Unlike most Aspies, I find my romantic relationship with my NT boyfriend easy, as in natural. I'm very good at loving, communicating my feelings, giving and taking, trust, and all the other essential skills you need to keep a healthy relationship. I am OK in my current job because it's easy and I work in a laid-back environment with not much pressure to do things in a deadline. Plus I like what I do. But I got stressed in my previous job, even though it was only part-time, because there was too much unpredictability, pressure, rules, expectations, work, etc.

I am high-functioning. I feel even happier now that I'm settled in a job, but I do believe that jobs are the biggest challenge in my life, unless I am in a predictable, laid-back environment, which is what my current job is.
I do avoid certain things like going to the supermarket at busy times or catching the bus at rush hour, unless it cannot be avoided, by which I get anxious about. I can sometimes find it hard to go out the house if I don't need to, because I feel like I am judged by people.
Certain loud noises bother me, as in irritate me, like loud motorcycles, cars with loud engines, and screaming babies.


_________________
Female
Aged 30
On antidepressants
Diagnosed with AS, ADHD and anxiety disorder


Prometheus18
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Age: 24
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03 Jan 2019, 1:32 pm

I don't think it causes me any real issues at all in daily life, save for the sensory aspect, which is a permanent nightmare.



komamanga
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03 Jan 2019, 4:26 pm

I'm mildly autistic.

I live on my own. I graduated from the university. I can take care of my cat and I can travel.

However,

My communication skills are quite bad.
I have trouble expressing myself with spoken words, I feel like I can only process half of what I’m thinking into spoken words and I lose speech when I’m under stress. Sometimes my brain stops receiving speech too.
I struggle with verbal instructions.
I have trouble remembering faces, reading and using facial expressions and body language.
I’m emotionally immature.
I’m stubborn.
I’m the clumsiest person I know.
My sensory issues can be quite bad. Especially smells and noises trigger me a lot.
I stim a lot.
Hyper focus is mostly good but sometimes it can be problematic too.
I get occasional shutdowns and meltdowns.
I have attention problems.
It's a daily struggle for me to try to keep up with chores and necessities.