Assessment draws near-nervous

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The assessment draws near(Wednesday) . Anxiety levels are rising. Going through major doubts as to whether I'll meet the criteria. I certainly don't think I'm neurotypical , but am more doubtful about being on the spectrum.

Am second guessing why the pdoc put me forward for an assessment. Would it be par for the course for any patient where the subject of ASD is raised, or would the pdoc have to have some level of belief you are on the spectrum to put you forward for an assessment?

Try to look forward to the process. I'm sure there will be things about it that you'll find interesting.

The lady doctor who did my assessment was very friendly and gentle. I did not end up traumatized at all.

Frankly, I don't know what folks are "afraid" of.

Maybe its because my parents sent me to damn many shrinks.
So I am used to the sitting in front of a shrink experience. But the idea is to relax, and just be forthright and as honest as possible.

you're not applying to get into a college, nor is it a job interview. The goal is not to impress anyone.
In fact - if you come off as being a messed up person then...that's kinda what you want ( ie if you demonstrate that you have the disability being tested for then that would be exactly the desired outcome). Or more to the point: the goal is to get at the truth about yourself, whatever that truth maybe, so the more relaxed and more honest you are the better. Ofcourse not all of it is talking and being interviewed. They also give you a battery of aptitude tests. And that be a fun journey into seeing what your aptitudes are, and are not.

And the better and more compentant the therapist is who is testing you the less intimidating they should be.

I'm a general worry wort over anything new/in line to happen.

I was given this advice

I wouldn't know how to mask. I am as I am be that good or bad.

That's good then. I suggest you set yourself aside some alone time after the assessment to decompress as it was very draining for me.

My assessment was the first time I had a conversation with someone and they actually got me. It felt a bit weird to not be misunderstood for the first time.

There are two possibilities a)they diagnose you as on the spectrum b)they think you are not ASD and point you in the direction of what they think you are. In other words there is no negative outcome as either way you are moving towards an answer that will help you.

Good luck not that you need it, it's not an unpleasant experience though like Ferris said it takes some adjusting to so allow yourself that.

My sister has just emailed her observations for the assessment. - 1) From age of 4 I became more quiet and withdrawn. She was told this by our parents. 2) I didn't seem able to engage in imaginary play and found it difficult to truly play as she and my brother did 3) I was much happier doing my own thing 4) I was physically awkward and quite clumsy 5) I

could be quite obsessive over certain things- like collecting baseball/ football cards even though I had no interest in playing the sport. 6) I had a difficult time reading the emotions ,feelings or reactions outside of those in the family. 7) I had no close friends in childhood and teenage years I preferred to spend much of my time alone 9)As I grew to my teenage years I became more socially awkward and reclusive 10)When younger was quite obsessed with facts and figures 11)I was very insistent on always being right 12)When in a bad phase I had difficulty thinking of others and struggled with empathy 13) I was prone to serious rages 14)When I met my wife in hospital I stabilised more and more . 15)My wife ran the household something I've struggled to do without strong outside support 16)I was much calmer by this time but could not function without my wife organising my life 17) I suffer from extreme social anxiety 18)I have compassion and kindness but struggle with empathy at times. 19) I find it very difficult to multi task 20)

I remain academically smart but increasingly less socially able 21) I'm very intelligent.

Much of what she said is I believe accurate but the bit about serious rages is somewhat revisionist. She says I got quite physical with my brother. If so it's not something my brother has ever brought up in conversation and we have a good if physically distant relationship ie regularly email each other. I could get quite verbally heated but the only physical incidence I can recall is when my mother accused me of probably getting a girl I saw pregnant and that we'd have funny babies. This was 6 or so years before I even had sex. Some very heated words were exchanged and I remember my sister hitting me. I remember I pressed for an apology from my mother which never came. I was certainly very angry at the remarks she'd made.
My brother has also said she is quite revisionist about things. It is quite true that I tend to raise my voice when angry and being quite tall and well built can come over as more intimidating than I really am .

Your mother's remark was hurtful. I've had similar remarks from family members. I'm not surprised you were angry.

I just wanted to send my best wishes and reassure you like everyone else. Be yourself. Stim if and when you need to. Tell the assessor how anxious you are. Worrying about your public presentation is a natural extension of ASD and regardless, the person should know. Tell them if and when you are feeling overwhelmed in the process. Having a little shutdown (e.g., needing a break mid-testing) is permissible. Everything is permissible, really. They don't expect you to behave in a typical ways.

I just did my assessment last April. I stimmed straight through it and even sat on the floor for a while. She invited me to go for lunch (coffee) with her on her break but I asked to sit in a little storage room that didn't even have a window. I just needed to decompress and stim.

Be yourself. Regardless of what happens they will have insights about your needs and other diagnoses (or diagnoses that are comorbid to ASD). You do sound like you are on the spectrum in my opinion, though.

HUGS! Let us know how you feel after even though you may need a day or two to yourself.

I'm not sure I've ever stimmed. Or at least I've never recognised that I have.