Do Certain Derogatory Words Bother You

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TUF
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23 Feb 2019, 5:56 am

It actually bothers me when my stepdad says that dyspraxia isn't a disability then when I say it is, he says 'not that sort of disability'... when he's talking about opening jars etc. It is exactly the sort of disability which makes motor skills hard...

It bothers me when people use autistic to mean irrational. It bothers the autistic side of me, the pedantic side. Autistic people tend to be radically logical so it defies reason to have autistic and irrational as synonyms. I must admit that I do use it myself (as an insult?) when I suspect or know someone is autistic and they're being socially inept to the point of rudeness or annoyingly pedantic or one of our other negative traits.

I'm not sure if it's an insult, just me being honest or me making excuses for them.



naturalplastic
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23 Feb 2019, 4:15 pm

TUF wrote:
It actually bothers me when my stepdad says that dyspraxia isn't a disability then when I say it is, he says 'not that sort of disability'... when he's talking about opening jars etc. It is exactly the sort of disability which makes motor skills hard...

It bothers me when people use autistic to mean irrational. It bothers the autistic side of me, the pedantic side. Autistic people tend to be radically logical so it defies reason to have autistic and irrational as synonyms. I must admit that I do use it myself (as an insult?) when I suspect or know someone is autistic and they're being socially inept to the point of rudeness or annoyingly pedantic or one of our other negative traits.

I'm not sure if it's an insult, just me being honest or me making excuses for them.


I can imagine. I don't get a lot of that in my life. Folks either never use the word "austistic" at all or they use it in a way that is vaguely not inaccurate.

Maybe you shouldn't use "autistic" as epithet for someone is being too blunt, or too pedantic, or socially inept. But at least those traits ARE associated with autism. And I, or for one, am not offended.

But I agree that its maddening when folks us "gay" to mean "dumb" or "autistic" to mean something that has nothing to do with, or is even the exact opposite of autism.

If you're gonna toss around labels as epithets at least apply them with some accuracy. If you're gonna hate on autistics at least hate on them for what they/we are, and not for what they/we are not.

About the only thing you can do is buttonhole the person and explain to them that "Sheldon leonard on the BBT show is 'autistic', and that a crazy irrational person would be 'psychotic', and that a person who too intellectually impaired to know the differences between things like 'autistic', 'psychotic', and 'ret*d', is 'ret*d'. Do you understand? If not, then I will be happy to dumb it down, and explain it to you real slowly to accommodate how ret*d you obviously are." :D

And when they get red in face and livid with anger at you THEN you can say "NOW you're being psychotic, as well as being ret*d". :D And when they start threatening you THEN you can explain to them that "yes, you are right. I myself am autistic and lack the social skills to know when to lie. Just because you really are ret*d it doesn't give me the right to be honest and call you 'ret*d' to your face. So I apologize for my autistic honesty!" :oops:

That way ...they will hate an autistic (you) for having actual autistic traits instead of hating autistics for false reasons. Lol!

I know...no one could really get away with doing that. But I can dream.



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23 Feb 2019, 6:27 pm

Like some have said, autistic will later become derogatory from overuse and the cycle of finding derogatory terms repeats itself...


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green0star
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24 Feb 2019, 9:18 am

the N word



nick007
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25 Feb 2019, 5:03 am

I'm not really bothered by words. I've been called LOTS of names throughout my skewl years; it's the physical bulling & exclusion that bothered me. I use offensive words myself sometimes to get my point across. Words only have the power you give them.


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auntblabby
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25 Feb 2019, 5:10 am

one must consider the source.



CC2501
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28 Feb 2019, 1:10 am

Everything everyone has said here is true. Thank you for all the replies!


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CC2501
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28 Feb 2019, 1:16 am

strings wrote:
CC2501 wrote:
Magna wrote:
CC2501 wrote:
Also, can I ask you a question. How did you put the things like your "Aspie Score" (if that is the correct thing to say) on the bottom of your posts or profile or wherever?


You go into "My Account" and then you add things like that if you wish to the signature area. You can preview your entries before submitting them.

Awesome. Thank you!


Since the topic has come up, I notice you list your AQ score as 34 out of 40. I suppose that is a typo for 34 out of 50?

I just realized, on the website it doesn't say out of 40. It actually just said 34. So it is 34 out of 50, you are correct. I feel like an idiot :lol: :lol: :lol:


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28 Feb 2019, 6:44 am

CC2501 wrote:
First off, I hope this is the right place to post this. If not, can someone tell me where a better place would be. Thank you!

Ok, so my question is do derogatory names like "autistic" (as in using it in a rude way like someone says to some, "That's so autistic") or "ret*d" bother you. It really bothers me personally. Sometimes I talk to people about it and try to correct them. Some make efforts to change the behavior and understand why it bothers me, while other people just keep doing it and see no issue with it. "ret*d" really bothers me because when I was twelve, my thirteen year old step brother passed away. He had a rare disease called INAD (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Infantile ... _dystrophy) and it's a developmental disorder which I guess in this case is kind of like an intellectual disability, so the word "ret*d" bothers me for that reason, more so than just because I have Asperger's, although it still bothers me because I kind of feel it is just rude to people with special needs in general. I feel like it is like calling a black person the n-word. I'd love to hear other people's thoughts and opinions.

Not really. First off, I simply don't hang around people who use racial, gender, or homophobic expletives, or who would use terms like "autistic" or "ret*d" in a hurtful or derogatory manner.
Secondly, to hurt me, I must first value your opinion. I have no need of approval from the vast majority of people, and if someone whose opinion is of low value to me (i.e., someone who displays deep ignorance or even stupidity as evidenced by expressions of bigotry and prejudice) says something hateful to me, I find it rather validating. If racists, homophobes, misogynists, and bigots actually liked me and saw me as a kindred spirit, I'd be deeply concerned, and would carefully reflect upon how I deport myself and interact with others.



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28 Feb 2019, 12:34 pm

It bothers me a good bit actually. The R word should have the same level of avoidance and sensitivity as the N word.


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