I don’t seem to learn about people and human nature.

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GeordieGent
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18 Mar 2019, 5:28 pm

I’m still baffled by people as much as I ever was. Despite the fact I’m supposed to be intelligent I never learn the social stuff. For instance, if people talk over me in a meeting I still assume it’s a failing in me and my poor social skills or it’s because I’m inept in some way and assume it’s my AS, when in fact it’s not till someone explains to me that it’s their behaviour in the wrong that I realise. But I don’t learn and keep on making the same mistakes. Do you guys ever feel this way?



kraftiekortie
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18 Mar 2019, 5:31 pm

Yeah, sure....all the time!

I feel like people "talk above me" all the time----and think I'm some sort of idiot.

It gets old after a while.



enz
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18 Mar 2019, 5:54 pm

GeordieGent wrote:
I’m still baffled by people as much as I ever was. Despite the fact I’m supposed to be intelligent I never learn the social stuff.


Because we have to use intellect to try and understand what other people do intuitively



DanielW
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18 Mar 2019, 6:04 pm

GeordieGent wrote:
I’m still baffled by people as much as I ever was. Despite the fact I’m supposed to be intelligent I never learn the social stuff. For instance, if people talk over me in a meeting I still assume it’s a failing in me and my poor social skills or it’s because I’m inept in some way and assume it’s my AS, when in fact it’s not till someone explains to me that it’s their behaviour in the wrong that I realise. But I don’t learn and keep on making the same mistakes. Do you guys ever feel this way?


People in general seem to have a lot of "unwritten" rules about how everyone is supposed to act. Personally, I don't tend to pick up on the subtler signals and body-language that most others seem to understand intuitively. That means I/we have to work harder and ask more questions to try and sort it all out. I tend to get overwhelmed by it, and find it hard to learn.



firemonkey
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18 Mar 2019, 6:34 pm

How are you supposed to know what's the right body language to use,and display it in real time?


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TessSpoon
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18 Mar 2019, 6:46 pm

DanielW wrote:
People in general seem to have a lot of "unwritten" rules about how everyone is supposed to act. Personally, I don't tend to pick up on the subtler signals and body-language that most others seem to understand intuitively. That means I/we have to work harder and ask more questions to try and sort it all out. I tend to get overwhelmed by it, and find it hard to learn.


Yeah, and it's great when those questions get sincerely, helpfully answered. In my experience, though, that rarely happens; even when I ask, people tend to give me a vague (if not also spiteful) answer. So I end up making the same mistakes over and over, frustrating the people around me (and especially myself).



DanielW
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18 Mar 2019, 6:58 pm

TessSpoon wrote:
DanielW wrote:
People in general seem to have a lot of "unwritten" rules about how everyone is supposed to act. Personally, I don't tend to pick up on the subtler signals and body-language that most others seem to understand intuitively. That means I/we have to work harder and ask more questions to try and sort it all out. I tend to get overwhelmed by it, and find it hard to learn.


Yeah, and it's great when those questions get sincerely, helpfully answered. In my experience, though, that rarely happens; even when I ask, people tend to give me a vague (if not also spiteful) answer. So I end up making the same mistakes over and over, frustrating the people around me (and especially myself).


One thing I have learned about "humans" is they aren't vague on purpose. They just don't understand the level of detail I need. (or Why as it should be "obvious" ) which adds to my frustration. Spiteful, yeah I've had my share of that too.