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"He's like a big kid." Is this how people think of us?

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losingit1973
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13 Apr 2019, 6:49 pm

I get this from time to time. My response is usually along the lines of "and your piont is?" They can take me or leave me as I am.


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13 Apr 2019, 7:07 pm

Summer_Twilight wrote:
Is this how people think of us?
I started feeling better about myself when I stopped caring how people think of me.


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shortfatbalduglyman
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13 Apr 2019, 9:11 pm

"people" sounds like seven billion, but means two or more


A disproportionate number of autistics have no friends or job or spouse



breaks0
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13 Apr 2019, 9:27 pm

Yes it's what alot of people think of us. When you have a president who likes to make fun of disabled people and now wants to spy on us on social media to weed us out of benefits programs alot of us need to survive, why should this be at all surprising? Especially in the workplace where, frankly, it's generally as if not more competitive than in society at large (speaking only about the US). Saying we're like big children is probably one of the milder things she could've said and one of the milder things alot of NTs think.



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13 Apr 2019, 10:23 pm

breaks0 wrote:
Yes it's what alot of people think of us. When you have a president who likes to make fun of disabled people and now wants to spy on us on social media to weed us out of benefits programs alot of us need to survive, why should this be at all surprising? Especially in the workplace where, frankly, it's generally as if not more competitive than in society at large (speaking only about the US). Saying we're like big children is probably one of the milder things she could've said and one of the milder things alot of NTs think.


Mild or that, I thought that was a pretty ignorant things to say if not condescending myself. While it appears that she thinks she's above him. However, she does not have some high-end position. Rather, she's just a regular worker in the dining program.



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14 Apr 2019, 5:42 am

In those situations I say,

"Well, I quite like him/her".

Not delivered in a confrontational way, just in passing.

It's usually enough to stop people from gossiping and won't lead to a confrontation.

Reporting your colleague could backfire on you.



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15 Apr 2019, 3:20 am

I think I'm sometimes like a big kid or sometimes like an old man who just wants a simple life and to be left alone. :? I always seem to act older or younger than my age.



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15 Apr 2019, 7:26 am

domineekee wrote:
In those situations I say,

"Well, I quite like him/her".

Not delivered in a confrontational way, just in passing.

It's usually enough to stop people from gossiping and won't lead to a confrontation.

Reporting your colleague could backfire on you.


He's not a colleague since he works for a different department unless we are collaborating with his supervisors about catering options. Even though he's been mean to me, I still don't think it's fair for him to face treatment like that.



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15 Apr 2019, 8:11 am

Summer_Twilight wrote:
domineekee wrote:
In those situations I say,

"Well, I quite like him/her".

Not delivered in a confrontational way, just in passing.

It's usually enough to stop people from gossiping and won't lead to a confrontation.

Reporting your colleague could backfire on you.


He's not a colleague since he works for a different department unless we are collaborating with his supervisors about catering options. Even though he's been mean to me, I still don't think it's fair for him to face treatment like that.

Oh well, good luck sorting it out, I guess if you report someone you make an enemy of them.



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15 Apr 2019, 8:17 am

domineekee wrote:
In those situations I say,

"Well, I quite like him/her".

Not delivered in a confrontational way, just in passing.

It's usually enough to stop people from gossiping and won't lead to a confrontation.


:mrgreen:
Reporting your colleague could backfire on you.


:mrgreen:

Yes because you don't know if the human resources is having sex with your colleague


Anyone could be biased against anyone for any reason or no reason



Thus far, it appears to me that, a disproportionate number of precious lil "people" make actions and statements that sounds, to me, like they are biased against me. Could be result of autism. But I am not telepathic and did not do a controlled experiment



Summer_Twilight
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16 Apr 2019, 3:09 pm

shortfatbalduglyman wrote:
domineekee wrote:
In those situations I say,

"Well, I quite like him/her".

Not delivered in a confrontational way, just in passing.

It's usually enough to stop people from gossiping and won't lead to a confrontation.


:mrgreen:
Reporting your colleague could backfire on you.


:mrgreen:

Yes because you don't know if the human resources is having sex with your colleague


Anyone could be biased against anyone for any reason or no reason



Thus far, it appears to me that, a disproportionate number of precious lil "people" make actions and statements that sounds, to me, like they are biased against me. Could be result of autism. But I am not telepathic and did not do a controlled experiment


Ok then I will not



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16 Apr 2019, 4:33 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
People often think that I'm a "big kid."

It's a combination of affection and condescension that I sense in their attitude.

I don't know-----I just don't like acting all "professional" or whatever. I like acting like me.


Unfortunately this is very common. There is affection, definitely. I don't think "they" even realize the condescension. Kortie, or others, how would you like to be seen? I assume you like the affection part.


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16 Apr 2019, 5:08 pm

I like to be seen as a person people can rely upon.

I am not often seen in this light.

I am seen as somebody who would buckle under pressure, and who is a "lightweight" in general.



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16 Apr 2019, 5:11 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
I like to be seen as a person people can rely upon.

I am not often seen in this light.

I am seen as somebody who would buckle under pressure, and who is a "lightweight" in general.


I can rely on you. I've also known you to deal with a lot of "heavyweight" pressure.

Hugs


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16 Apr 2019, 5:16 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
I like to be seen as a person people can rely upon.

I am not often seen in this light.

I am seen as somebody who would buckle under pressure, and who is a "lightweight" in general.


That is how I see you actually. NTs are missing out if they don't see that.

Personally, I know I'm emotionally immature and look young. I just wish people saw that intellectual age is different to emotional age. Sounds like bragging but I'm a lot smarter than a lot of NTs I know.

Also I wish I was tall enough to 1 get a pint in a pub and 2 be able to handle my drink



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16 Apr 2019, 5:25 pm

I've made some stupid mistakes----and I'm still making them.

At least now I can see the mistakes, and try to rectify them.

My mother doesn't really think I'm "solid." She thinks I'm sort of the type that doesn't assert himself. And that I assert myself in the wrong places.