Filtering What Other People Say

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Is it normal for aspies to be unable to filter out what other people say to them and come up with their own opinions? I feel like whatever I read, if it's in first person especially, it becomes how I feel.

I've heard and read so many nasty things over my life and I don't want to feel that way but it echoes in my head when I try to have a nice time with my friends. I've been called names, I've been accused of stuff, I've been threatened etc.

I want to get rid of that inner voice which isn't me, which is what people have said to me and about me over the years.

My friends know where I come from and feel sorry for me over it. By friends I really mean 'friendly acquaintances' but still, people on the same side I want to be on.

Maybe it will shift as I mix more with those people but again, I feel like I'll just lose myself amongst them instead.

Advertisers use repetition because it works. Rather than just trying to keep unwanted messages out of your head space, or pump them back out, try filling it with more positive stuff. I used to eschew positive reinforcement because it sounded like lying to myself. Composing less grandiose messages worked. Focus on direction more than level.
Being even a little short of sleep tends to reinforce negativity. With all the stimulus these days, I need to meditate more as well as sleep.

Thanks, that sounds useful especially if I tailor it to my own needs (like you said, self help generic messages just feel like lying/cheesy to me).

What does 'level' and 'volume' mean in this context?

Volume? Level is about comparing oneself to others, which is useful data, but never worth worrying about. There will always be people "above and below" wherever you get to. It is also not worth much time mourning any losses. There's information and warnings there, perhaps, but one should be trying to get up again a bit every day. A good habit, like a seed, does not do much for quite a while but show signs of life, but can become a tree if watered regularly. Trees can take a lot of damage and still put up vigorous new growth.

Yeah, sorry - I meant what does direction mean?

I'd say that "up" in mood is calm, stable, happy, cheerful, and civil, while "down" is the state you complain of, lacking self-esteem. Don't be like your detractors, who may be quite ignorant, but dependent on putting others down to feel good.

I like what Dear One is saying here. About attaching yourself to good people and things.

This is a somewhat common issue for aspie females. I don’t think it’s necessarily bad. Maybe you are kind of like being an apprentice to the other person’s opinion. It’s not necessarily becoming what you think forever, but you’re trying it on for awhile. If it doesn’t work for you, you’ll move on.

It's a problem because the people I grew up around were bigots and I can't stop thinking like them even though I don't agree with what they said.

Maybe should just try to fit in here and not worry too much about whether it's 'my opinion' or not.

Seems a bit sexist and naive, though.