Being disliked hurts

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Welcome back, Joe

I believe you're right here.

I agree , low self-confidence and self esteem makes everything worse - e.g. What normally is treated like a throwaway comment which you don't even register gets twisted into a slight which you will ruminate over , possibly for years. As a consequence you may even treat the person who said this comment with disdain for the rest of your life.

Thanks, yes I'm back.

The simple truth is you're never going to get everybody to like you. No matter who you are, there are always people who will dislike you for it, and that's just a fact of life.

And when somebody does dislike you, you've got to discern whether or not their opinion really matters in the first place. As a general rule, in my opinion, you should only have a problem with someone disliking you if
a) you're going to see them around and it's preferable that things remain civil, or
b) you like and respect them, and as such their opinion holds weight.

There's no need to worry about the opinions of strangers or those whom you never need to talk to again, or those who haven't earned your respect.

This all applies unless you find that people have a tendency to dislike you, in which case you need to figure out why that is.

... or those whom you will encounter only through social websites such as WrongPlanet.Yes, if "everybody" dislikes you, then the problem is likely with you, and you have to be the one to figure out what that problem is and actually do something about it.

Oh, especially on the internet. You have a lot more control over who you encounter on the internet than when you've made an enemy out of someone who lives in your city.

True, but input from those who know you best would probably be helpful too in that case. Aspies aren't exactly known for their ability to figure out where they're going wrong in social interactions.

AFAIC, i am not feeling bereft of the esteem of anybody who has to wipe at least once daily. that is quite different from having the Angel Gabriel Himself alight on my doorstep to tell me i suck big wind.

I just want to know if it's still possible for me to have a girlfriend at my age (30) despite not having a significant history of dating or romance and to maybe actually progress in things like the guitar, drawing, and story writing despite not honing in those kinds of abilities during my developmental years.

Math has been corrosive to me even before I got to try at life.

I kind of love it when someone hates me. I don't know why. I always try to figure out what I did to wrong that person, and I won't give up. I HAVE to get to the bottom of the situation. When I've finally found someone who's brave enough to tell me what's going on, it'll always be something like this: "Well of course she hates you. You agreed with her when she said she must have gained ten pounds over thanksgiving." But I was really agreeing that I probably gained ten pounds myself, but she misinterpreted it. So in the end, I didn't do anything wrong, and they're just making a fool of themselves for no reason. So I just have fun. I'm a terrible person, I know.

Let's look at this way: why wouldn't it be possible? Plenty of people have their first relationships around that age for various reasons. Some aren't interested earlier, some decide to get their life in good order before using their time and energy in to something as unstable as relationships, some just can't get one despite trying their best for one reason or the other... seriously, you have time. Sure, the chances of getting that kind of "I've slept around with tens of girls" -experience that many men like to boast about in the internet or when drunk (seen it) are probably over for you by now, but since you want a girlfriend and not just lot of experience to boast with, who honestly cares? All you need to do is find one suitable match. Easier said than done of course, but it is an easier goal than, say, wanting to be super popular with women. I'm sure you wouldn't mind that either, but since you're looking for a relationship, the affection of one woman that you are also attracted to is enough for you, right? You don't need popularity for that. It's an achievable goal.

As for the other three things: yes, yes and yes. Sure, it's easier to learn new things if you start as a child and before you hit 25, but it's by no means impossible at your age, either. A guy I know, age 26, just bought himself an electric guitar and is really in to it, determined to learn how to play. And he's never played before, while you started out at lot younger age, right? If he has faith in himself then why couldn't you.
Of course, playing an instrument, drawing and story writing are forms of art that some people are naturally more talented in than others, but they can still be learned. But you can't get good if you don't work on it. Not just trying out a few times and giving up when things don't work immediately; if you want to get good you need to work on things a lot and for a long time. Again, you need patience to make things work.

High five!
The ability to see it that way is an invaluable survival skill to remain sane in this crazy world of humans

It is possible. I did not have my first kiss/relationship until I was 32 years old. I have had other relationships since then. If a woman enjoys your company and is looking for a relationship, she probably won't care much that you lack experience.

This obviously does not apply to hook ups, where you ARE expected to have experience, but I don't think those are what you're looking for.

But as others have already said, you should focus on getting yourself to a better place emotionally and financially before you start seriously looking for a girlfriend.

As for other skills like music and art, you just need to practice as often as possible. Some great artists got into their fields at a later age. Fan art can be a good way to get started since you can work with something familiar and that has a ready made audience (though some fandoms can be very picky). Doing fan art regularly can get you into the habit of drawing regularly.

A lot of things are possible, not everything is plausible. But for what you're saying you're wanting, the answer to both is yes. However, if you're looking for an assurance that the time you put in, the work, and effort you have put in and will need to put in is going to be worth it (by getting what you want) no one can give you a 100% answer on that. There isn't an equivalent exchange in this world nor guarantees.

There are females out there that would overpass a guy that has no experience. But that's not every female. I entirely can't speak for other women but that isn't something that would bother me in a potential mate. I would want to know why, but it wouldn't be a reason I'd reject someone. For myself I would prefer someone with no experience over the guy that has had hundreds of girlfriends. That might be something that puts men up in the hierarchy among their peers, but for me it's a warning sign. I can not be the only female feels/thinks that way; so I don't think a lack of experience being something that is going to prevent a relationship.

Guitar, drawing, and story writing are all creative arts; which means they can be started and honed at any time. If you want to progress at them all you have to do is apply yourself and put the work/effort in. There a lot of people they do 'everything they are supposed to do", and then later on wonder why they are unhappy, why they don't know themselves and so often they will make a change and sort of start over. My mother went back to school at 41 to get her masters in what she finally realized what she wanted/needed to do. People start up all kinds of things later in life, or return to things they once loved. You might have to work a little more diligently but they are things that will come back to you (like riding a bike) to put you into a groove of developing them. Now you might not become famous at those things, nor may you be able to be so good at them to be able to support yourself doing them but there is no reason that you can can't start from now with them. There's no reason you can't add new abilities to your repertoire at any age either.

I have some unnamed math related learning disability. It was pretty distressing growing up, so I feel you.

I am short on time so I can't fully reply to the people I want to reply to the most.

I definitely want a loving relationship more than just getting constant one night stands. I wouldn't mind being popular with women but a solid relationship would make me happy.

I know that Bible Belt women tend to be cautious around shy and lonely men. For some reason, they think someone like me is a serial killer in waiting while a loud extroverted guy who beats up people and owns weapons with the intent of shooting someone if they think are "threatened" is somehow a suitable partner. It's sickening and discourages me.

What hurts the most is when one of my friends has a family member who hates me and that person doesn't even know me.