Being disliked hurts

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I truly can't handle being disliked. Whenever I am hurt verbally or physically, my mind will replay what the other person did endlessly to me even when I want it to stop. Even when other people tell me they like me, just one person telling me they don't like me tears me apart. It makes me feel like they are the correct ones while the ones who do like me are incorrect.

I know the feeling. It's likely one of the sources of my social anxiety. It may have come from constant criticism I have always received from my mother - like I internalized it into a belief citicism is what counts.
It's wrong but being able to see the world differently requires a lot of hard work.

"It makes me feel like they are the correct ones while the ones who do like me are incorrect."

For them it is "correct," in that it is what they are experiencing. There is no ultimate truth that any human being is or is not likeable as it is always experienced in subjective context.

I had to learn quite young that not everyone was going to like me. As an adult I could care less who likes me and who don't. If a person likes me, great. But I figure it won't last long. If they don't like me, that's fine I probably don't like them either.

^ THIS ^

My life took a turn for the better when I stopped worrying about what people thought of me. In fact, I would rather know that someone honestly hates me than believe they like me when they don't.

I had a caretaker who liked me more than my older brother but it was the reverse when school started for me. Oddly, my mother was paranoid someone was going to kidnap me and she panicked when a school wanted to put my school picture in the newspaper.

EDIT: Change of heart.

Last edited by Marknis on 23 Apr 2019, 9:11 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Marknis. You have to give people a break sometimes.

Magz is a nice person.

She was identifying with you.

When people tell me to let go of my past, it's like they are saying it was ok for the bullies who harmed to have done what they did.

Cool, I must have missed something

"let it go" ≠ "it was ok"

I understand letting go the past as focusing on present and future more than on the past that has already happened and can't be changed.

"Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned."

-Buddha (allegedly)

The problem I had to learn was the opposite. What other people think of me matters a great deal. Without it, you cant get a job, a social life, a love life, or just generally be able to function in society at all.

There is something called healthy balance. One may be on either side of it.

That's because you appear to misinterpret what people are saying to you , you appear hyper vigilant , maybe because you have been hurt in the past. You always appear to be looking for the negative in peoples comments especially your detractors.

If you don't let go , you can't move forward.

You can't start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading the last one.

When the past calls , let it go to voicemail , it has nothing new to add.

I’ve had to learn to MAKE myself liked.

I was widely disliked as a schoolboy....by pupils and teachers alike....

Ooo ... Good one! That's a sig-worthy line if I ever saw one!Wow! Two in a row! You're on a roll!