Being disliked hurts
17 May 2019, 5:53 am
Marknis wrote:
Luhluhluh wrote:
Marknis wrote:
How can I "build myself"? My mind keeps telling me everything is too late and I could never overcome the obstacles I faced with the things I wanted to be good at. I still can't play a guitar solo or complex songs despite having a guitar since 2002 and I haven't written any songs despite how I used to hope I would be a professional musician one day. I don't have any books published and I am turning 31 soon. I struggle to draw despite my age as well to the point I don't even try at all these days. I reached adulthood only because I figuratively sat around and my brain stopped growing physically before I could develop special talents.
Then for god's sake DO SOMETHING ELSE. Lots of people can't play guitar. Lots of people can't draw. Lots of people don't really have a talent. Neither do you. Congrats, neither does MOST of the population of the world. But Jesus Christ FIND SOMETHING ELSE TO FOCUS ON. Part of being an adult is having the ability to admit your limitations and DO SOMETHING ELSE THAT YOU CAN DO and be a contributing and functioning member of society. Quit moaning over the things you can't do and do something with yourself that you can.
You know why those hip hoppers and thugs and all those other guys you hate have girlfriends? Because they probably have jobs, they probably have their own places, they probably have things to offer THAT YOU DON'T.
I don't know what it's going to take to make you see that you're causing your own problems but if you don't turn this around you'll be spinning your wheels for the rest of your life and literally nothing will change.
Are you telling me to give up on wanting love?
A lot of the hip-hoppers I know are on welfare and don't necessarily live in their own places. They also agree with rednecks on bigotry towards LGBT people and non-Christians as well as sexism towards women. They aren't people I will ever be friends with nor look up to.
I don't want people telling me I can't have a girlfriend or that I can't have any individuality.
You DON'T have any individuality, you have an attitude that you're superior for some reason, because you like metal music and you like anime and don't believe in god, and once again, congrats, you're like a lot of the rest of the world, including your own "area," which, as I've said before, has a population of about half a million people and a couple universities. Hell, I even checked out the local Meet Up groups in your area and found one that is into Sci Fi and they meet quite regularly. If you don't like to drink, you don't have to. That also does not make you better than anyone. You could have a soda and no one would think twice of it. Believe it or not, none of this make you special or better.
So should you give up on playing the guitar and drawing? YES!! !! Should you give up looking for a girlfriend? YES, YES, YES!! !! If doing something doesn't make you happy then you should just drop all of it!! And find something that does make you happy and that you can succeed at!! Because your perpetual horrible poor me attitude isn't going to attract anyone, even as friends.
_________________
That which does not kill us makes us stranger.
17 May 2019, 6:07 am
Luhluhluh wrote:
So should you give up on playing the guitar...? YES!! ! !
Nooooooooooooooooooo , you shouldn't give up on this Mark , I know I have said this a few times but Rocksmith 2014 will take your guitar learning to next level. Give it a try for 60 days
_________________
R Tape loading error, 0:1
Hypocrisy is the greatest luxury. Raise the double standard
17 May 2019, 7:06 am
kraftiekortie wrote:
How do you get to Carnegie Hall?
Practice, practice, practice!
Practice, practice, practice!
I'll never get to Carnegie Hall KK lol!
But I'm at a point a point where guitar playing is pleasurable and I can zone out for hours doing it ( Sadly the arthritis in my fingers limits my playing time )
_________________
R Tape loading error, 0:1
Hypocrisy is the greatest luxury. Raise the double standard
17 May 2019, 10:16 am
Luhluhluh wrote:
Marknis wrote:
Luhluhluh wrote:
Marknis wrote:
How can I "build myself"? My mind keeps telling me everything is too late and I could never overcome the obstacles I faced with the things I wanted to be good at. I still can't play a guitar solo or complex songs despite having a guitar since 2002 and I haven't written any songs despite how I used to hope I would be a professional musician one day. I don't have any books published and I am turning 31 soon. I struggle to draw despite my age as well to the point I don't even try at all these days. I reached adulthood only because I figuratively sat around and my brain stopped growing physically before I could develop special talents.
Then for god's sake DO SOMETHING ELSE. Lots of people can't play guitar. Lots of people can't draw. Lots of people don't really have a talent. Neither do you. Congrats, neither does MOST of the population of the world. But Jesus Christ FIND SOMETHING ELSE TO FOCUS ON. Part of being an adult is having the ability to admit your limitations and DO SOMETHING ELSE THAT YOU CAN DO and be a contributing and functioning member of society. Quit moaning over the things you can't do and do something with yourself that you can.
You know why those hip hoppers and thugs and all those other guys you hate have girlfriends? Because they probably have jobs, they probably have their own places, they probably have things to offer THAT YOU DON'T.
I don't know what it's going to take to make you see that you're causing your own problems but if you don't turn this around you'll be spinning your wheels for the rest of your life and literally nothing will change.
Are you telling me to give up on wanting love?
A lot of the hip-hoppers I know are on welfare and don't necessarily live in their own places. They also agree with rednecks on bigotry towards LGBT people and non-Christians as well as sexism towards women. They aren't people I will ever be friends with nor look up to.
I don't want people telling me I can't have a girlfriend or that I can't have any individuality.
You DON'T have any individuality, you have an attitude that you're superior for some reason, because you like metal music and you like anime and don't believe in god, and once again, congrats, you're like a lot of the rest of the world, including your own "area," which, as I've said before, has a population of about half a million people and a couple universities. Hell, I even checked out the local Meet Up groups in your area and found one that is into Sci Fi and they meet quite regularly. If you don't like to drink, you don't have to. That also does not make you better than anyone. You could have a soda and no one would think twice of it. Believe it or not, none of this make you special or better.
So should you give up on playing the guitar and drawing? YES!! ! ! Should you give up looking for a girlfriend? YES, YES, YES!! ! ! If doing something doesn't make you happy then you should just drop all of it!! And find something that does make you happy and that you can succeed at!! Because your perpetual horrible poor me attitude isn't going to attract anyone, even as friends.
I never once stated I was superior to anyone.
I used to go to that Meet Up group but I stopped. Despite claiming to be into sci-fi, they really aren't. They are far more into games like Cards Against Humanity, getting drunk, and gossiping about who is sleeping with who since a lot of the people in the group change relationships like socks. There has even been break ups and fights while gaming is supposed to be happening. Just like in high school, I also got compared to my older brother since he's opened a brewery and they started having gaming events there. I got burned out and I have no desire to ever go back.
I am not going to let people tell me I am too "messed up" to ever have a girlfriend. You are essentially telling me you don't want me to have a girlfriend. Why do you want me to be alone and single forever?
Last edited by Marknis on 17 May 2019, 11:02 am, edited 1 time in total.
17 May 2019, 10:28 am
Luhluhluh wrote:
Then for god's sake DO SOMETHING ELSE. Lots of people can't play guitar. Lots of people can't draw. Lots of people don't really have a talent. Neither do you. Congrats, neither does MOST of the population of the world. But Jesus Christ FIND SOMETHING ELSE TO FOCUS ON. Part of being an adult is having the ability to admit your limitations and DO SOMETHING ELSE THAT YOU CAN DO and be a contributing and functioning member of society. Quit moaning over the things you can't do and do something with yourself that you can.
You know why those hip hoppers and thugs and all those other guys you hate have girlfriends? Because they probably have jobs, they probably have their own places, they probably have things to offer THAT YOU DON'T.
I don't know what it's going to take to make you see that you're causing your own problems but if you don't turn this around you'll be spinning your wheels for the rest of your life and literally nothing will change.
You DON'T have any individuality, you have an attitude that you're superior for some reason, because you like metal music and you like anime and don't believe in god, and once again, congrats, you're like a lot of the rest of the world, including your own "area," which, as I've said before, has a population of about half a million people and a couple universities. Hell, I even checked out the local Meet Up groups in your area and found one that is into Sci Fi and they meet quite regularly. If you don't like to drink, you don't have to. That also does not make you better than anyone. You could have a soda and no one would think twice of it. Believe it or not, none of this make you special or better.
So should you give up on playing the guitar and drawing? YES!! Should you give up looking for a girlfriend? YES, YES, YES!! If doing something doesn't make you happy then you should just drop all of it!! And find something that does make you happy and that you can succeed at!! Because your perpetual horrible poor me attitude isn't going to attract anyone, even as friends.
You know why those hip hoppers and thugs and all those other guys you hate have girlfriends? Because they probably have jobs, they probably have their own places, they probably have things to offer THAT YOU DON'T.
I don't know what it's going to take to make you see that you're causing your own problems but if you don't turn this around you'll be spinning your wheels for the rest of your life and literally nothing will change.
You DON'T have any individuality, you have an attitude that you're superior for some reason, because you like metal music and you like anime and don't believe in god, and once again, congrats, you're like a lot of the rest of the world, including your own "area," which, as I've said before, has a population of about half a million people and a couple universities. Hell, I even checked out the local Meet Up groups in your area and found one that is into Sci Fi and they meet quite regularly. If you don't like to drink, you don't have to. That also does not make you better than anyone. You could have a soda and no one would think twice of it. Believe it or not, none of this make you special or better.
So should you give up on playing the guitar and drawing? YES!! Should you give up looking for a girlfriend? YES, YES, YES!! If doing something doesn't make you happy then you should just drop all of it!! And find something that does make you happy and that you can succeed at!! Because your perpetual horrible poor me attitude isn't going to attract anyone, even as friends.
Where are the moderators, and why have they not acted against this obvious detractor?
_________________
17 May 2019, 10:37 am
magz wrote:
Marknis wrote:
My former coworkers are able to succeed despite living in a culture that hates what makes them who they are. They are both in technical fields, they both play music that isn't in vogue with the culture here (Death-thrash and hardcore punk), both can beat up those who get upset with them for not being Trump fanboys, and they have girlfriends who aren't brainwashed by the Bible Belt.
Do you like them?
If I were in your situation and I knew people like that, I would hang out with them, playing the music we all like, going to concerts and enjoying our time our ways.
I like them but they always have other commitments so hanging out with them is impossible. They get to do things I can't even dream of doing (Even my own dreams deny me of happiness).
I've seen both their bands perform but that was ten years ago. It was at an abandoned building out in the woods. Unfortunately, it felt defeating because I had (and still don't) any of my own music to speak of while so many others did and there were a lot of metal, punk, and gothic kids making out as well as having sex with their girlfriends all over the place. I also got a lot of glares and scowls from strangers.
Even when I was a child, others scowled at me. One kid even decided to punch me when I was talking to him. I still remember the pain in my eye and forehead. I also remember a swim teacher growling my name and hitting my head with a plastic ring she was holding in her hand.
17 May 2019, 11:16 am
Marknis wrote:
Even when I was a child, others scowled at me. One kid even decided to punch me when I was talking to him. I still remember the pain in my eye and forehead. I also remember a swim teacher growling my name and hitting my head with a plastic ring she was holding in her hand.
That sounds very painful - emotionally, not to mention the physical pain. I imagine it also made you feel very alone.
_________________
A finger in every pie.
17 May 2019, 12:07 pm
Marknis wrote:
Are you telling me to give up on wanting love?
A lot of the hip-hoppers I know are on welfare and don't necessarily live in their own places. They also agree with rednecks on bigotry towards LGBT people and non-Christians as well as sexism towards women. They aren't people I will ever be friends with nor look up to.
I don't want people telling me I can't have a girlfriend or that I can't have any individuality.
A lot of the hip-hoppers I know are on welfare and don't necessarily live in their own places. They also agree with rednecks on bigotry towards LGBT people and non-Christians as well as sexism towards women. They aren't people I will ever be friends with nor look up to.
I don't want people telling me I can't have a girlfriend or that I can't have any individuality.
You shouldn't give up entirely but you should recognise the constraints placed on your capacity to do so at this point in time, given your circumstances.
If the "hip-hoppers" on welfare can get girlfriends despite their views and situation then there must be something about them that makes them more appealing to women than you. Could be that they're more physically attractive, in better health, more confident, have better social skills, that they have a "bad boy" appeal, or are more easily able to find people who hold similar values.
Individuality isn't the issue here, but when it comes to whether you can or can't get a girlfriend the way you are currently, the empirical evidence gathered over the last 10 years would suggest that you can't, which is why the only logical pathway to results is changing aspects about yourself that might be putting women off. And no, that doesn't mean compromising your individuality, unless you consider being at an unhealthy weight, being dependent on your parents, or being underemployed to support yourself independently to be part of your individuality.
Marknis wrote:
I am not going to let people tell me I am too "messed up" to ever have a girlfriend. You are essentially telling me you don't want me to have a girlfriend. Why do you want me to be alone and single forever?
I don't think anyone here wants for you to never get a girlfriend and suffer. They'd prefer that you address barriers that stand in the way of you getting a girlfriend, but you don't seem receptive to the idea that you will necessarily need to change certain dysfunctional aspects of your life in order to improve your likelihood of finding a partner.
Furthermore, even if someone was to say that you're too messed up to find a partner, what they say doesn't matter. It doesn't make any difference to whether or not you find a partner whatsoever. What will make all the difference is what you choose to do and not do, and the sacrifices and time and effort investments you're willing to make in pursuit of a partner.
Amother thing I think you should acknowledge is that you seem to frequently take the most uncharitable interpretations of people's comments, sometimes to the point that it is outright unreasonable to interpret them that way. You then run with those interpretations, and get very defensive. To me, it seems like you might have something of a persecution complex. I'd imagine you've been bullied and talked down to a lot in your life, and that combined with Asperger's social skill deficits might lead to you being quick to perceive criticism and hostility where no such intent exists. It certainly seems to me that you have an overactive amygdala, probably as a result of what I said in my last sentence. Maybe this sort of thing would be good to talk with your therapist about. The way you brand people "detractors" because they advise you in a way you interpret as unsavory reeks of a persecution complex. Most of us here, if not all of us, even those who get impatient and frustrated with you do not wish harm on you, and would prefer that you succeeded. Even people you've had issues with like Fnord (feel free to confirm or deny, Fnord) wish you well, and only say what they do because they see your current trajectory isn't going to lead to what you want, and yet you stubbornly cling to it. It would be cruel for us to tell you that you don't need to change a thing and a girlfriend will fall into your lap because that is very unlikely considering your circumstances.
17 May 2019, 12:16 pm
BeaArthur wrote:
Fnord wrote:
Where are the moderators, and why have they not acted against this obvious detractor?
Troublemaker!
hardy ha f*****g ha , this is like game for you two. Lets f**k with the derpressed guy , he won't be able to defend himself.
Makes me f*****g puke
_________________
R Tape loading error, 0:1
Hypocrisy is the greatest luxury. Raise the double standard
17 May 2019, 12:28 pm
kraftiekortie wrote:
He works part-time in a library, and has been doing this job for over a decade.
None of my jobs have lasted lasted more than four years due to layoffs and businesses going out of business. To work in a place for more than a decade for more than a decade is pretty damn impressive these days. Can't he at least be proud of that? I guess not.
_________________
Who wants to adopt a Sweet Pea?
| Similar Topics | |
|---|---|
| Heart Hurts |
24 Feb 2024, 1:37 am |
| Close friend learning to unmask hurts my feelings? |
21 Mar 2024, 4:34 pm |
