I don't feel emotions some times

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Sometimes I just don't feel emotions, when other people would react strongly towards it.

A few examples:
1. When I cut my finger with paper/ or have blisters on my feet. I feel pain, yes. But I don't feel any other emotions.
I don't feel sad or angry because of the pain. I just can endure the pain easily.
It baffled me why other women would want to tell everyone about their paper cut-- is that so important that you have to tell people?

2. I was sexually harassed before. But again, I felt no emotions. I was not scared or sad or angry at all.
No emotion. The guy placed his hand on my thigh. I just didn't say anything and allowed him to do that.
After getting home, I asked my dad whether that counts as sexual harassment. He said yes.
I also told a social worker about it, and she told me that normally women would get really scared.
But I thought, "It didn't hurt at all."

3. I don't feel anything when I look at images of sexualized females/ females from anime or video games with "scantily clad" clothing. I heard that some feminists hate these images and they claim that they feel humiliated by these images. I find it difficult to understand why they'd feel anything.


So... are these related to autism, or do I have another condition?
(I'm diagnosed with Asperger's 6 years ago)

"Some" women tell everyone about their paper cut because they're social creatures and they like to express a lot of the things that are on their mind. But there are some nt girls who are more stoic or tomboysh that don't like to tell this kind of stuff. So this is not an autism thing.



I'm the same way. For me it's because I know they're just videogames or anime: they're a work of fiction and fiction is made to please a public, to awaken their deepest desires. Some people like it, some don't because they don't have the desire to look at sexualize female on the screen. Again, not an autism thing, it a libido thing and some people are influenced by society to think this kind of thing is wrong.



Maybe you allowed him to do that because he touched you suddendly and you didn't know how to react in that particular moment, that's pretty common. Or you could be apathetic, but i'm not here to diagnose you:this is something you should talk to a therapist about. I'm sorry this happened to you.

1 That isn't a female thing. They genuinely hurt more than they should, because of where the cut is. Maybe you're undersensitive? That can be a thing with autism, just like touch sensitivity is
2 Aspies/autists often are quite emotionally immature and kids who are groomed (or autistic people who are groomed or people with learning difficulties etc) don't see it that way as they can't grasp how easily manipulated they are. Perhaps it has to do with that. I've just edited out a personal eg of the same. Especially if you were young at the time, sometimes it takes maturity to see it for what it was. I'm not trying to insult, just aspies have higher intellectual ages, normal chronological ones and younger emotional ones. I'm sorry you went through that.
3 Perhaps you don't identify with the female 'tribe'. Or perhaps your own media intake has a lot of half dressed guys in it? Or perhaps you don't see it in a very sexual way or as objectified? It's just a matter of opinions. But this plus your 'it's women who feel papercuts' makes me wonder if you've got a bit of internalised misogyny?

1. The same. What's the point of getting emotional over a paper cut? Probably attention seeking, it's a natural way of getting help. As an adult capable of using medical aid, I don't need outside attention for this kind of things.
2. Well, I don't have any similar expiriences. Maybe you just didn't get the context and meaning. The core of sexual harassment is being violated with your body. Maybe you just didn't feel violated?
3. Feminists' sensitivity to sexualized females in popular culture is quite ideological. If you don't share their ideology, there is no need to share their sensitivities, too.

It all may be just ASD-related immunity to crowd thinking.

I feel emotions always, even on antidepressants. Sometimes I wish I could switch the negative emotions off.

AFAIK, antidepressants don't switch emotions off. I take them and definitely they don't switch anything off. They sometimes help my brain process some emotions.
As I already said, welcome back, Joe!

Possibly, but I think that there can be more to it than that. The internal experience of the event and one's inclination to report it are two separate issues, I think...

I've been in situations where very basic emotions like fear or anger would seem to be a perfectly natural reaction - probably the most extreme example, being robbed at knifepoint, but also a lot of the bullying I experienced at school as a child. Yet, at the time, there was simply nothing there other than almost completely disinterested observation of what was going on, and analysis of what the most convenient exit from the situation would be (give the guy my wallet without arguing!)

In some cases, the emotion does catch up with me somewhat later (as for most of my emotions due to Alexithymia), and there are certainly times when I'm overwhelmed by emotions (i.e. I'm not just intrinsically emotionless.) It's also the exact opposite of negative events that I get lots of advance warning about - those I can get myself extremely emotionally worked-up about in anticipation. But, when caught by surprise, my emotional mind just doesn't seem to always grasp the gravity of the situation.

On a more positive note, this certainly isn't always an "impairment". Being able to keep one's head while all around folks are panicking can be an extremely valuable trait.

I really don't get along with most NT females.
Around 90% of my friends are male.

I don't understand why they have to tell people about everything they have on their minds.
I find that noisy and annoying. My mum always wants to talk to me for more than 2 hours or so, I also hate that.
I don't see why I need to know about your paper cuts/ your mosquito bites/ your newest haircut/ whether you've had dinner, what you had for dinner, etc.
And I don't understand why so many of them don't like science/ tech or hardcore video games.

But anyway, I think I'm the one with the problem. I'm the one who's not normal.

This might be related to being an Aspie but your thread did not give me sufficient information to come to that conclusion.

One of the central questions is did you experience great trauma during your lifetime?

When I was young I was subjected to three years of constant bullying while I was in Junior High. This was borderline physical and emotional torture. As a result I have evolved an ability under stress to separate my emotional and analytical brain apart and turn my emotional brain off. In that state I turn off all emotion - hate, revenge, fear, anger. My analytical brain then goes to work and figures out a means to resolve the problem. It is a gift. I never have a meltdown, anxiety attack, panic attack or tonic immobility because my brain always comes up with a solution. So if that is your question, generally how do you deal when you encounter a threat? Do you shut down or are you at your best?

Men tell me about their papercuts. Especially male writers or readers. They do hurt.

90% of my friends are male too. Has been that way all my life.

A lot of my friends at sixth form didn't believe that cos I didn't grow up on video games. I grew up playing rough and tumble outside and playing sports and climbing trees and getting into playfights.

I don't really understand a lot of women or want them to be my platonic friends. However, I love them. Either my mother or romantic partners I've had in the past.

The way some men refuse to open up is a problem - if men talked about their emotions a bit more often, their suicide rate would be lower.

I'm not into science or video games and I'm so masculine I've questioned whether I'm trans since I heard it's a thing for ftms and not just mtfs, before that I just told people I was a boy. Not everyone is into the same things. Personally, my interests are more football and politics.

My mum does the long drawn out conversations too. It's annoying. She does it when we row and she does it to comfort me. She won't shut up about deep things and has to dissect everything (ironic for a vegan).

I don't think not getting along with a lot of women is an issue. But I do think it is if it's starting to make you feel like it's 'ok' for you to be touched like that. Would you be ok with it if you were male?

Personally I don't understand why women around me put up with so much pain. They wear sticky stuff on their faces every day (makeup). They wear shoes which damage their feet and backs (heels. Mum doesn't anymore but she has a bad back). My auntie has a bad back and says kitten heels aren't heels, they are... Some women even wax their legs with hot wax... I only ever wear comfortable clothes or jeans or occasionally suits.

I was bullied, yes.
But I think the core problem is that I was physically beaten up by my mum.
I come from a place where it used to be legal, even with the use of bamboo canes or rulers, etc.
My mum would even justify it till this date, and claimed she only did it because she loved me.

She did that whenever I "disrespected" her, or had an "attitude", and I didn't understand the idea of "attitude" when I was young.
She also claimed that disagreeing with her or pointing out her mistakes are disrespectful. (She doesn't do that anymore but still.)

I think she's messed up.

I don't think it's ok to touch women like that. Although I showed no emotions, I know that other women would feel scared. Like, if I were male, I wouldn't be touching women like that.

I knew that female trans male exist, but I didn't give much thought into it.

Wait, telling people everything you have on your mind is an NT thing? I often like to tell people what's on my mind, like pain, emotion, what I ate, etc etc. My mum says I talk excessively, but I just love conversation and expressing myself and what's on my mind.
I'm quite easy to talk to though; I don't interrupt people mid-sentence or change the subject abruptly or talk about my special interests (I don't even have any special interests).

Joe, it really isn't. It's more of an autistic thing.

In NTs it's more gendered.

In aspies it's more like how you described. And also a lot of honesty.

The fact NT men (especially in Britain) keep so much bottled is a problem. And I'm saying that as someone who prefers talking about football all the time to talking about my feels. But if I had a really hard problem, I would go to talk to someone.

Susannah - I'm wondering if the issue is your mother. Most people who have gone through extreme violence like that have an unusual pain tolerance/tolerance to certain abuses. I mean comparatively? The sexual thing was less, although it was still abusive.

I'm very sorry you went through that especially from someone who's meant to be the one you rely on.

Could be, at least emotionally speaking.
But I remember I had a high pain threshold even before my mum was abusive. I never cried when I took my vaccines, and the nurses would often compliment me on that.

That said, what my mum did to me was very emotionally hurting.
She gradually stopped doing that after I was diagnosed with Asperger's. She claimed that a normal child would have been ok with her methods, which I disagree.
But I can see where she came from-- a lot of parents of my schoolmates beat them up too. It was kind of the norm at the time.

That's sad

Yes, on a physical level - nothing to do with sex or gender - autistic people can sometimes have under sensitivities just as they can have over sensitivities.

I've got the physical sensitivity thing and it doesn't make me weak, it's just that I sense things more so when they're physically painful or even irritating they hurt me more than they'd hurt an NT.