hi i'm new, got a question

Post Reply New Topic

i have visited many anxiety forums and can relate to them. I do believe social anxiety is a big issue in my life and has always been. I've never heard of Executive Functioning disorder? I'll look it up.

There's another thing i did in school. I walked around the playground alone and reenacted my mum taking her tablets, over and over. It fascinated me at the time, i thought it looked good. Pour the tablets into your hand and take a glass of water. It seems so strange to me now.

I think it is good to step back and ask questions because one can understand things. I think if I had done this in the past my life would be different now. Having said that, I would not want to change my past though many parts of it I would never want to go through again. I mean. School and especially college was difficult. Primary school, despite the difficulties I had when I was punished because the teacher had a disagreement with my mum, and the teacher had me stand in a corner daily and then I was put in a room by myself for the entire year. (She later apologised to my mum and I forgive her. I was five years old, going on six. The teacher has caught some sort of disease or something and wasn't thinking straight. The disagreement had started because my mum who was excellent and gifted had gone over and over my reading books with me, but when I was with the teacher I could not talk much so it looked as if I hadn't dome my homework).
So apart from that year and the first year I was assumed to be thick because I hardly ever spoke unless I really had to, and also at paytimes I would just stand in the corner holding my hands over my ears if it was noisy... The third year onwards in primary school so from the ages of six going on seven and up, I started to catch up and just before I left I had pretty impressive exam results as we had to take exams to see what classes we would end up at the secondary school (Ages 11 to 16) though it was like I was totally in the deep end and struggling all over again! Just got used to things about a year or two before I left and had it all over again in college! I tend to find the first few years a really hard struggle at each school or college I have been in. Then it is as if I slam my foot on the accelerator, let go of the clutch and whizz past most of everyone else as far as learning goes!

I don't think its dissociation. I think its anxiety more than anything. I guess i'll go for an assessment or i won't. Like mentioned only a professional can make a decision as to a diagnosis. Right or wrong.

I am fully aware people are talking to me at the time and i do take in some things they say. Its just like they speak too fast and i struggle to take it in and understand it in time. I end up going home from appointments with only a small amount of what was said in my head. I go home and think, what did they say for me to do etc.
I even go to say the receptionist straight away and forget or realise i haven't a clue what i'm supposed to tell them. Its got to be anxiety i suppose. It never goes away. I can't have an independent life because of it.

Yes. Mind blank situations. I have recently started taking my Mum with me as when I see a doctor or something like that and I am nurvous, I come out not remembering much and not able to open up to say what I went in for. Also waiting rooms are stressful. I don't mean there is anything wrong with the room or the people in it, but for me I can be on edge.

If NHS provides your healthcare I understand it is just a matter of lining up a doctor with the right expertise and waiting in line for an evaluation. Which is a lot more practical than in the USA where a diagnosis as an adult will easily run 1000 euros out of pocket.

A US health insurance policy that covers autism diagnoses for adults is very unusual.

Totally understand that.

Mind you, when I was in college I had such a difficult time that I just wasn't that interested in the work or the exams. I mean... I was and I wasn't. I failed the exams passing only half of it and walked away not wanting to go back.

I am on the list to be checked. It took me two years to pluck up the courage to ask my doctor (Mind blank each time I tried) and doctor said not to get my hopes up as it was up to the referral team if they accepted me. They did. Is about a 14 month wait now here as we have had a new unit open up as prior to that people were waiting for many years.

Are there professionals who work with autistic children in your area? They may be willing to give you a quick opinion of whether you are on the spectrum or not.

i don't know. I assume there is child assessment people near me. I haven't looked. First step is the doctors if i so wish to persue it this time. If its only social anxiety, then its had a real impact on my life from day one. And its seen as, oh that's easily cured. Well its not for me.

Maybe what you need is what is available in the USA when you have a stroke or serious car accident in the USA and have private insurance that will pay for therapists 5 days a week. You can have daily therapy several times a day by a professional as long as the insurance will pay for it!

This is why rich people in the USA are against Universal Healthcare. If everyone has healthcare there won't be enough doctors and therapists to provide for the care the rich get right now.