Out of control feeling

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Part of being autistic is that you finally put the puzzle together of all the different parts of your life and then a piece goes missing. It could be as minor as seeing a fine scratch on a pair of glasses, or if a lightbulb goes out, or there is road construction requiring a detour. Everything else is the same except that one piece of the puzzle is missing. The frustration is intense. I try and remember deep breaths, to journal, or draw. I wonder what other people try. Starting a discussion on how to cope I think could be helpful.

Yeah. I know what you mean.

I get pretty frustrated when there’s minor changes in my routine.

It sounds like you are asking what to do when stress overload is about to push you into a meltdown situation.

You mentioned one technique. Implement deep breathing.

Others on this site today recommended the following. Find a safe place and use methods to deprive yourself from you senses. Such as put in earplugs in your ears and mask your eyes from the light. And allow your stress to bleed out from your body and return it to normal.

What I do which works really well is to separate my emotional brain from my analytical brain and turn off my emotional brain. In that state I have turned off all emotions including fear, hate, anger, terror. I spin up my analytical brain and look for solutions. I can even fabricate the missing puzzle pieces. Then I implement the best choice. I never sustain a meltdown because there is alway a choice and I am never trapped. But this is a skill I learned a long time ago. It is a type of disassociation similar to day dreaming. And it has served me very well over the years.

Another approach is to avoid the things that trigger a meltdown.

Another approach is to perform a vagal maneuver. One of the techniques used to produce a Vagal Maneuver is called Cold Water Treatment or Cold Stimulus to the Face. This is done by placing an icepack or a bag of ice or a washcloth soaked in ice water on your face for 15 seconds. Or you can immerse your face in icy cold water for several seconds. It might also work to step into a cold shower or a cold bath. This creates a physiological response similar to a person being submerged in cold water (Diver’s Reflex).

Another approach is offloading stress. Stress is cumulative in nature. So if you can learn to vent stress energy and bring your body back to a state of homeostasis, then your body can absorb some stress without sliding into a panic attack. One technique to vent stress energy is called Tension & Trauma Release Exercises (TRE). These exercises replicate the techniques that animals use to vent unused stress energy.