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Mayel
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25 Jun 2019, 2:46 pm

I wonder whether what I sometimes experience is a shutdown or not or something else.

So sometimes when I need to concentrate on something (be it something auditory or visual, like a lecture or something I have to read or write) or maybe when I know I have a lot of tasks ahead of me, I suddenly get very, very sleepy to the point of almost sleeping, shutting my eyes. I can't keep myself alert and almost not awake. It's a really strong and sudden "urge" to shutdown in a way. And I can't shake that feeling off, I can't shake the process of (whatever my brain is doing at that moment when I'm suddenly losing my alertness) until after some minutes.

But even without that context I'm interested in your shutdowns, when do they come about? What happens?


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Persephone29
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25 Jun 2019, 4:41 pm

I didn't see this, just posted something very similar. I stagger into the house, sit in my chair with a blank look on my face and then fall asleep for many hours.


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Mountain Goat
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25 Jun 2019, 4:57 pm

https://everything2.com/user/Zifendorf/ ... s/shutdown

I get partial motor shutdowns where I can delay going into them, but at a cost that I go deeper into them if I delay them. The description near the bottom of driving a car is exactly how I get them.


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Sahn
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25 Jun 2019, 5:07 pm

Mountain Goat wrote:
https://everything2.com/user/Zifendorf/writeups/shutdown


Wow, interesting link. I know what it's called now, "visual shutdown", first everything goes quiet, time stops, and
there are only colours and movement, coming back out of it is really disorientating.



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25 Jun 2019, 5:17 pm

domineekee wrote:
Mountain Goat wrote:
https://everything2.com/user/Zifendorf/writeups/shutdown


Wow, interesting link. I know what it's called now, "visual shutdown", first everything goes quiet, time stops, and
there are only colours and movement, coming back out of it is really disorientating.


Someone in here gave me that link when I was asking questions. If I go into a partial shutdown deep, and I try to delay it or get up when I am lying on the floor before I am recovered, I hear a medium pitches noise inside my ead which decreases in pitch to form a low pitch and while it does that my eyesight starts to dim, so by the time it is a low pitch my eyesight is black. I just lie down and wait and it all comes back to normal... I sometimes feel clammy, sweaty etc, and I get very shaky when I have it deep.
I can delay a partial shutdown, but then I get it deep, so the first thing I do is lie down quickly and try to eat or drink something sugary, as this quickens the recovery.


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Mayel
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26 Jun 2019, 12:52 am

Quote:
A shutdown is a particular sequence of behavior which we observed in a child diagnosed as high-functioning within the autistic spectrum. In academic settings when pressured by an adult to perform tasks that were difficult, she became unresponsive, sleepy, immobile, and limp to the touch for several minutes, and then fell asleep in a chair for as briefly as 10 min. and up to 2 hours. These shutdown (SD) states were always triggered by social stress of a certain kind and they became more severe and frequent over a period of about a year.


This is kind of what I have experienced.


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Pepe
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26 Jun 2019, 1:15 am

Mayel wrote:
I wonder whether what I sometimes experience is a shutdown or not or something else.

So sometimes when I need to concentrate on something (be it something auditory or visual, like a lecture or something I have to read or write) or maybe when I know I have a lot of tasks ahead of me, I suddenly get very, very sleepy to the point of almost sleeping, shutting my eyes. I can't keep myself alert and almost not awake. It's a really strong and sudden "urge" to shutdown in a way. And I can't shake that feeling off, I can't shake the process of (whatever my brain is doing at that moment when I'm suddenly losing my alertness) until after some minutes.

But even without that context I'm interested in your shutdowns, when do they come about? What happens?


I find reading tedious.
Even here on this website.

When I see a paragraph as tall as the harbour bridge my eyes glaze over.
That's why I break up my posts.
It's in sympathy with others.

So yes, I guess I shut down too at times.
I never saw it that way before.



Mayel
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26 Jun 2019, 7:13 am

Mountain Goat wrote:
https://everything2.com/user/Zifendorf/writeups/shutdown

I get partial motor shutdowns where I can delay going into them, but at a cost that I go deeper into them if I delay them. The description near the bottom of driving a car is exactly how I get them.


Thank you for that link. But it seems like shutdowns are officially not recognized.


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EzraS
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26 Jun 2019, 7:45 am

I curl up into a ball and stay that way until it is over with.



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26 Jun 2019, 9:09 am

Nothing that comes out of my mouth is remotely coherent or intelligent.



Mountain Goat
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26 Jun 2019, 9:28 am

This is how I get it but I can talk and listen, but the effort required to talk and listen is great and tends to shut me down further, hence I don't want to talk.

Quote:
Shutdown can also have voluntary components. An autistic person may find that he is shutting down, and be unable to control that fact. However, he may be able to direct which abilities are more important to preserve. In this case, the other abilities will shut down first. For instance, if he is driving, he may elect to understand enough sensory information to navigate around obstacles and retain the motor skills to drive the car to a safe place. However, during this time he may have lost speech, the ability to move in any way other than the motions required for driving, the ability to identify objects, and the ability to respond meaningfully to human voices. When he stops the car, he may find himself unable to step out, but he drove safely and competently. An autistic person may also be able to delay a full shutdown by allowing himself to experience increasing numbers of partial shutdowns, or head off an involuntary shutdown by deliberately stopping the activity in question before his brain stops it for him.


Also, when I have found a safe place to stop the car, it is all I can do to put the seat back to lie down to recover... There is no way I could step out of the car to walk. I would end up in a heap on the floor with my body being limp.

I do get series of partial shutdowns. Recently when stressed they come at from around six a day or more. I purpously lie down as soon as I can to recover which prevents a shutdown. Why they are called partial shutdowns I guess.

When I get partial shutdowns, I find I can't do much throughout the day that could involve anything stressful or streneous as it means I will go straight into another partial shutdown. Also, after a day of a few shutdowns, I am so weak that just lifting the tablet to type can be enough!
On stress free days I am completely the opposite, but I do try to avoid any exercise these days, as I do not want to risk going i to a partial shutdown while exercising. For example, I am far more likely to get one while cycling, and when I do I could be stranded unable to get help (If I need to recover I don't want to have attention) or get back home, especially since I have a steep hill to climb to get home. Sometimss when I have a partial shutdown while cycling, I can just about ride the bike by somehow clinging on, but if I try to put my leg down to stop, my leg won't always hold my weight, so if I know I am that bad, I try to get to a grassy ditch in which I can fall into and I lie there until I am recovered! Sometimes when cycling I have reached a quiet place to recover from a partial shutdown, and because my eyesight is not focusing well due to the partial shutdown, I go to lie down on an ants nest and get covered in ants and I can hardly move to do anything about it. My sympathies go to the ants, but sorry anys, I didn't see your lovely home... It is anoying as it can take ages before I can move from the spot my body has chosen! In a similar way I have gone and found myself what I first belived to be a hidden ditch to find I had become a type of dam blocking a water course, and to try to move... It ranges from difficult to impossible depending on the depth of the partial shutdown!

It has taken me 40 years of despearately searching what it is that I get before someone gave me this link recently, so a big thanks who found the link.


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Persephone29
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27 Jun 2019, 2:38 am

I usually sleep for a long time. I will do selective mutism if I've spun a gear.


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Persephone29
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27 Jun 2019, 2:44 am

I will add that if I'm somewhere were I must stay awake, I just sort of engage my brain but check out emotionally.


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dyadiccounterpoint
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27 Jun 2019, 1:21 pm

As it is distinct from meltdowns and burnouts, my understanding is that shutdowns are purely sensory related.

In that sense, I will get sleepy and retreat. I may not be able to process all incoming information effectively. If I am forced to remain, I will get excessively quiet, anxious, and tense (it can literally be painful in the shoulders especially) beyond my normal levels. It would become noticeable that I am not having a good time.

If I can retreat, often the fatigue will evaporate when I am in a position of isolation, quiet, and comfort. Sometimes I still need to sleep if the issue was serious or prolonged enough.

I also get sensory migraines where I have to curl my head up into a pillow in a quiet environment, because I just can't stand light or sound when I'm having those. Even the sound of cars passing by can be "too much."


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Mayel
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28 Jun 2019, 11:37 am

dyadiccounterpoint wrote:
In that sense, I will get sleepy and retreat. I may not be able to process all incoming information effectively. If I am forced to remain, I will get excessively quiet, anxious, and tense (it can literally be painful in the shoulders especially) beyond my normal levels. It would become noticeable that I am not having a good time.
[...]
I also get sensory migraines where I have to curl my head up into a pillow in a quiet environment, because I just can't stand light or sound when I'm having those. Even the sound of cars passing by can be "too much."


I have had similar experiences.
However, even if I'm in a situation where I should be awake and not sleepy, I usually can't control that and I can't counter the feeling of sleepiness and nod off for a minute or more regardless of the situation.
I also get migraines like that.


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28 Jun 2019, 6:51 pm

I am unable to react.


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