Humiliation massage

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So I had a dream where there was a guy who was going to have a fight with some other guys. I wasn't part of that fight, I was actually just helping this guy to carry some things somewhere (I remember how I was confused just which of those things were his since there were so many other things belonging to other people) so I was technically on his side even though I wasn't fighting. I vaguely remember that perhaps he was trying to court my mom, but I am not too sure any more I don't remember the beginning of this dream. I remember one interesting detail how we were on an elevator and I mentioned to him I am fascinated with basements, and he told me that the reason in Russia they keep the basements open isn't negligence but rather they do it on purpose to let homeless people live there.

In any case, here is the ending, which I do remember. So he won the fight with some guy, and when that guy fell down he continued fighting him. It crossed my mind that its considered wrong to keep fighting when someone is already on the ground but, at the same time, it makes sense: I mean if people were to abide by those morals, then everyone would fall down in order to avoid being beaten up, so actually I don't understand why anyone else follows morals and it made sense why he didn't. And, as he kept beating him, he kept telling him "look you are not a fighter, look at how quickly you fell down, you have no future, you should be ashamed of yourself, etc" and I noticed that, as he was beating him, that guy didn't even resist, I guess he gave up and realized that resisting is pointless.

But then I noticed something else: instead of continuing to beat him, he started to massage his shoulders. And then I was confused. Was that massage supposed to hurt him too? If so, how is it different from any other massage, that helps people? I guess I don't know much about massage so I guess there are some "specific" moves that accomplish some specific functions -- that I don't know -- and so maybe in place of the moves that are supposed to help you he put the moves that are supposed to hurt you; but, from the outside, it looks like a regular massage. But how much can massage hurt you anyway? I am sure it can't break any bones or anything. So is it supposed to be something to make you tired instead of refreshed? If so, it would be like destroying him from within: instead of outright beating him up, just make him tired, so that he won't really put forth his best all on his own.

But then there was another possibility I was thinking of. Could it be that it is a regular, healthy, massage -- and its purpose was not to hurt him physically but rather to humiliate him. As in as to say "look, you are so totally screwed that doing mean things to you is pointless, I might as well be nice to you and massage you -- you are screwed anyway". But then there was an aspect of it that I still found weird. When you do that specific massage, you are sort of stretching the other persons muscles to help him fight in the future. But he was telling him "you have no future as a fighter", so what was the point of massage then? Or perhaps one can make sense of it by saying that he wasn't telling him he can't succeed in life, he was only telling him he can't succeed in a particular aspect of life -- as a fighter -- and so he was giving him massage to prepare him for other aspects of life, in which he can succeed?

In any case, as much as weird and illogical it has been, in some way I enjoyed looking at the way that guy is being humiliated. So, in order to add to his humiliation, I joined in and started massaging his shoulders myself. So we were both massaging his shoulders at the same time. And then I woke up.

What if the massage wasn't meant to injure or humiliate. What if it was a genuine gesture of pity at seeing his opponent instantly revealed as being of no actual threat? Or maybe even a response to a moment of clarity, a gesture of guilt for having gone on physically and verbally abusing his opponent even after it was revealed he was no legitimate threat. The one delivering the beating suddenly realized he'd become the bully and switched to an apologetic attempt at offering comfort.

On a similar note you said, you understood why he continued beating up his downed opponent because "everyone would fall down in order to avoid being beaten up"... but the reason people fall down to avoid being beaten up is to indicate that they've given up, they're no threat, they're done fighting. Granted they may still deserve a suspicious eye lest they use it as an opportunity to pull a fast one while their unsuspecting opponent has disengaged. Generally it's considered bad form (bullying, terrorizing, tormenting, intimidating, assaulting, etc.) to continue pounding on a downed opponent who's not fighting back.

Anyway, interesting dream.

Well, he continued to say the humiliating things DURING the massage. If the massage was an indication of regret, you would think he would stop saying what he was saying, but he didn't.



You are assuming that the only motivation of beating someone up is to stop that person from beating you up. But thats not true. If the SOLE motivation of BOTH sides was to defend themselves, then the question is: what got htem to fight on the first place? So, apparently, at least one of the sides had a motivation other than trying to defend itself. That being the case, why wouldn't it want to keep beating the other side even if it lays down?

So it was a switch from physical & verbal to just verbal abuse. In fact, the mismatch between what he was saying and the shift from inflicting physical pain sounds like a tactical change to outright psychological abuse. Now that's...

I understand that fights only need, and often are just one aggressor. In some cases it could be that someone told each individual separately that the other was planning to beat them up. This could cause each person to think they were fighting to save themselves. There certainly are people out there fighting for reasons other than self-defense and they may not care that the other person is no match for them or not interested in fighting back. I don't think it should be that way, but of course it is the reality. Not all aggressors respect a surrender, that's true.