Officially NOT Autistic

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Thanks for the input Mayel it feels nice knowing I'm not alone. I like how they use terms like "gifted" or within the "superior" range but all fast processing speed ever seemed to do for me was give me racing, tangential thoughts that I often couldn't express verbally. Either they came and went too quickly or I didn't even have the vocabulary yet to encapsulate what I was experiencing. At best it gives me really cool ideas for novels, comic books, art, video games, even social/anthropological hypotheses etc etc etc and I could spend all my free time jotting these down in note books but I can never follow through on any of them because I'm too much of a scatterbrain.

Yes it's good not to invest emotionally in assumptions or hoping for a particular diagnosis like I did. That just leads to more unwanted anxiety. It's best to just going in with your current attitude, open to whatever as long as it helps you in the long run.

As for aspergers not having speech delay, I understand that but at least in Australia it seems professionals are now already adhering to the DSM-V which effectively means that no one gets diagnosed in Australia with aspergers anymore. And of the 3 levels of autism the DSM-V still describes I don't know if any of them allow for normal development of language. Besides its not just that which made her rule out autism. You also made a very good point about how autism can be exhibited in kids versus adults. This is why she was really happy to be able to speak with my Mum about my early childhood. And as she told me "assuming everything your Mum told me was correct and true" she just didn't see enough signs in general. No hand flapping, no idiosyncratic phrases, I physically demonstrated/showed things off to people, I made physical communicative gestures, no language acquisition followed by regression etc. She said I only seemed very autistic in social and emotional traits which fits with generalised anxiety.

Is it perhaps possible that under the old DSMIV you might have been an Aspie?

Anyway welcome to the NT world...

Possibly cyberdad. Or as others have said maybe ppd-nos. Given that I may have been diagnosed autistic 6 years ago (if I'd been tested then) and that I still feel there is enough impairment thanks to generalised anxiety I'm not sure I'm ready to enter the NT world just yet
Everyone here has been very helpful and I'll see how I respond to therapy and treatment. If there are still ongoing issues after that I *might* consider getting a second opinion (for instance its only now that I've remembered I also experience frequent echolalia, it's hard to remember every little thing that might be relevant to an ASD assessment).

There is a world. Most of us are “members” of the “NT world,” anyway. As well as “members” of our own.

We provide the “NT World” with our own take on things.

In actuality, I don’t sense that Dan is a total NT. He has one foot in both “worlds.”

I don't think Dan should stress (literally, it's not good for his anxiety) if he's able to function in "NT mode" then that's how he should operate.

It's hard to say, functioning in "NT mode" may actually contribute to anxiety - that was my case. I used to employ my intelligence, pattern thinking and observation skills to make up for social confusion and context blindness - but the cost was constant anxiety (making up required being alert all the time) and finally a deep burnout.

This is really interesting for me to read. I am going in to start my evaluation process in about two weeks.

I grew up without any language delay, and I have never been mute.

I 100% identify with the social challenges characteristics of ASD. Most of the time I can't take a hint if it hits me in the head.

I don't have any particular special interest which I obsess over, though I do get very interested in a wide variety of topics to the point that I delve into them way more than any average person would.

I have been questioning whether or not I have ASD for some months now. The more I look into it, the more convinced I am that the spectrum truly does go from 0-100. I bet a lot of people, maybe even you, are something like 5%-10% on the spectrum, but that for a formal diagnosis people need to be 20% or more.

For what its worth, you don't need to be autistic to continue to post here.

I have to laugh with what you just put. Actually that's me as well. I don't always get hints. It has cause much friction with a neighbour as she is a retired office worker who over the years developed a hint system to get all the office work done, and it is soo ingraned with her... And I take things at face value... And the number of times she has been anoyed with me when she says things like "But I told you....!" when she never told me.... She said something totally different as a statement in her way of hinting and I heard the statement so I agreed with the statement, but what I got from was very different from what she wanted or needed...

For example. She would say "The big flowerpot is very heavy" and I will say "Yes it is heavy"... and she will keep saying that, and then I hear she asks someone to move it for her when she never asked me, and she tells the other people how bad I am for not moving it for her, and the other people don't want to know me based on what she has said. Yet I have told her ad told her ad told her I don't do hints but I don't think she knows how to ask without using the hint method.

Sorry. Just having a moan. She is a nice neighbour. Just we view life in very different ways.

You should have said, "do you want me to move it?" LOL

That's what I would do. If I sound stupid, so be it!

Meh, I wouldn't put much stock in obtaining an official diagnosis for being an NT. I have little regard for "professionals'"diagnostic skills. I have done much research on mental health disorders in general and know that it is the norm to be misdiagnosed with things, under-diagnosed, and even over-diagnosed!

What helped me most know for certain I am as Aspie was vlogging. I wrote down ways that I was very different from the general population from birth on, childhood experiences, school experiences, being bullied, being 'asocial', having traits of ADHD/OCD/Migraines/PTSD/Borderline, etc. then I recorded it and watched it. It really validated that yes, indeed, I am on the spectrum. Plus taking the tests on my own. There are several.

Being on the spectrum doesn't make my life impossible. I actually embrace being an Aspie and wouldn't change it for anything. But it has made my life harder than many. But yet many people have it way harder than me. Life is a struggle and it always will be. This is not our intended home.

I guess MG just didn't get that she wanted anything from him.
In case of any suspition that she may be asking for something, this kind of question is the best solution.

I get this from my wife all the time.

She thinks I should just "get it" right away.

If I don't "get it," then I'm "stupid."

I ask the question, and I just ignore the inevitable stupidity that comes from her mouth.

Tell me about it! I've been a "free range NT" on WP now for 6+ years although when I joined back in 2012 I was told by some folks I wasn't welcome...

Fair enough and that's a valid point. But is it fair that there will be times that you and Dan will need to engage "NT mode" ?

It's useful for getting things done. But you need to count the spoons.

Yeah that attitude was gonna be the death of this place, thankfully i think that chapter has closed. It made no sense at all... especially bizarre when applied to adults.
For folks on the borderline/undiagnosed I think its essential to remember that routines, reactionary anxiety and fluctuating functioning levels are at play for life.
Before I had a burn out I was like other folks in this category, furiously and frantically trying to find a balance when I was well (made impossible by the effects of continuous masking).
A few years post burn out my ability to mask is maybe 60% of what it was on a good day, though now at least I've reduced my exposure to anxiety/masking by 40% so I'm closer to a balance.

Dan I hope you take care of yourself as a person potentially on the borderline, not meeting full criteria on a particular day, does not change your lived reality.