Are you possessive of your special interests?

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dragonsanddemons
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29 Jul 2019, 3:01 pm

I tend to become obsessed with less well-known things and get so excited when I hear anyone mention them at all that I, normally extremely shy, have to show great restraint to not butt into other people's conversations that I happen to overhear, or start a half-hour monologue on the topic. That's actually the reason I tend to be very vague about my interests and reluctant to bring them up, because a lot of people haven't heard of them and I know I won't be able to explain without doing that. Plus if they actually are familiar with my interests, I'm afraid they'll judge me for them. But if they bring it up first and show any interest in it, I have a strong tendency to not shut up about it.


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N30n_L30n
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28 May 2024, 9:53 pm

This is a very old forum but I do have something to say on this. I rant to my friends and people close to me about my main special interest all the time, but just recently one of my friends decided to watch said special interest (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles :ninja: ). Normally, I don't think I would have a problem with this at all, but it's bothering me how they've been into the series for 3 or so days and have already started to "rant" about it. I know I don't really have any right to be so possessive over something like a special interest because it's there for everyone to enjoy, but I feel like it's...well...mine. It just feel so aggravating how they think they know more about it than I do, I've spend hours on end researching and creating whole documents for each of the turtles and including their personalities from different incarnations (and the fact that it's literally just a multiverse) and they think with the three days of information they have they're on my level of knowledge. Anyways, there's my piece on that.



funeralxempire
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28 May 2024, 9:55 pm

^ Welcome aboard.

I wonder if they actually think they know more than you, or are just at that point on the Dunning Kruger curve where they start to have confidence that they're starting to understand well enough to say anything rather than just ask questions.


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ToughDiamond
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29 May 2024, 3:29 am

I suppose I am sometimes possessive of my special interests, if that's the right word for it. I've got my own ways of doing music, and when I was younger, if I collaborated with other people on music, I always ended up dominating. Gradually I noticed what I was doing and I started to share the projects more, and allowed other people to put more of their own ideas into things. Sometimes I even completely took a back seat and just worked more like a session man for other people. But the feeling is still there, that nobody else really knows how to do music properly like I do. It's ridiculous of course, but that's often my gut reaction. I have to fight it when I'm working with other people, and that can be very uncomfortable, but when I do, the result can often turn out very well.

It's not that I cognitively think their music is worse than mine, it's just an impulsive feeling. It's probably got something to do with the great detail I go into when I try to work up a technique. Most people use much broader strokes, which to me tends to look as if it can't possibly work.



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29 May 2024, 9:33 am

Not really...


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ElmersTrueLove
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29 May 2024, 11:22 am

I see Looney Tunes as mine only unless I trust the person and they're on the same "level" as me (although I'm a bit "lower functioning" but still mostly verbal.) It's my niche.


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angelsonthemoon
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29 May 2024, 2:38 pm

No one sees or experiences things exactly the same way. I wouldn't say I'm possessive, but my viewpoint or appreciation of my interests isn't the same as anyone else.

A simple example would be with video games, FF7. Some might not like all the main characters or like them for different reasons. Most probably aren't thinking about the Kabbalistic references, such as Tifa being Tiferet, the sefirot of beauty and compassion, traits which clearly distinguish her character. Her last name "Lockhart" is even where Tiferet is located (the heart).

I'm always happy if the things I like do well so I can get more things I like. I'm never a gatekeeper. Yet I know my enjoyment or appreciation can be different, sometimes very different, than others.



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02 Jun 2024, 5:54 pm

I made a thread on the Asperger's subreddit once with this exact title. I am, yes. I love The Simpsons, and whenever I see people outside of my community of fellow Simpsons superfans post something Simpsons-related, I get oddly peeved, like "How dare you encroach on my hallowed ground?" As if I'm the only one who can talk about it since I know more than they do. It doesn't make sense, but it's just how I irrationally feel about it sometimes.



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02 Jun 2024, 6:08 pm

I can fall into the disgust of "you are consuming the thing I like wrong", but I try not to get too uppitiy about it. People have the right to enjoy the same thing as I do.


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funeralxempire
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02 Jun 2024, 6:09 pm

honeytoast wrote:
I can fall into the disgust of "you are consuming the thing I like wrong", but I try not to get too uppitiy about it. People have the right to enjoy the same thing as I do.


In high school I was bad for that mindset and behaviour.

I'd like to hope I've improved. :oops:


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honeytoast
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02 Jun 2024, 6:13 pm

funeralxempire wrote:
honeytoast wrote:
I can fall into the disgust of "you are consuming the thing I like wrong", but I try not to get too uppitiy about it. People have the right to enjoy the same thing as I do.


In high school I was bad for that mindset and behaviour.

I'd like to hope I've improved. :oops:


Same here. I came to the realization (a bit too late) and I think it had an affect on me for making friends. I felt that if I met a person who liked something, but it wasn't in the way that I thought was correct, I would not be able to be close to them. I still struggle with those feelings though I continue to try not to.


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CockneyRebel
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05 Jun 2024, 2:52 pm

I can be very possessive of my special interests. If I feel I need to keep them at home or if someone tries to take them away from me, I can get very cranky.


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05 Jun 2024, 9:40 pm

Nah, for me and my spins it's like: you WILL hear about my special interests and I WILL force you to like them too

(OK I'm exaggerating a bit I'm not going to actually force people to like what I like and have an interest in but I also hate gatekeeping so I'm always open to getting people into liking what I like if they seem to have a genuine interest)



ElmersTrueLove
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07 Jun 2024, 11:58 am

MagicMeerkat wrote:
I just came to a realization recently that I could never work at a zoo that had meerkats unless I was the one caring for them. Zookeepers don't exactly get to pick the animals they take care of. I would feel too much resentment for the person who DID get to take care of them. Resentment that would very quickly turn into pathological hate. I'd also probably have issues with the person running the zoo telling who knows jack s**t about meerkats compared to what I know. I could always just move to another country and work in one of those animal cafes. There's in in South Korea that has them and the employees do know basic English. Or I could just move to South Africa and work at a wildlife rehabilitation center. Working at a zoo isn't as hands on as they make you think. They don't even let you touch some animals. And wonder why people don't care about saving said species. Some people are tactile and nothing gets through them unless they can touch it. With the whole hand, not two fingers. (Doesn't seem like the animal enjoys being touched with two fingers either. I've seen some people literally jab them with two fingers.)

I don't like to share my special interests. No one wanted to listen when I was willing to share. When someone asks me about meerkats I usually give them the vaguest answer. Yeah, at a zoo, I couldn't talk to the public about them either. "Go watch that f*****g new show/movie you love so much if you want to know so bad! You didn't want to hear about them before that show came out! You only pretend to be interested because of that stupid show/movie!"

But anyway, do you feel possessive of your special interests? Like your the only person who can talk about them or have anything to do with them?



PS. Axolotls are to me what meerkats are to you. They're my little niche, as someone here described it.

Image


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MagicMeerkat
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09 Jun 2024, 4:05 pm

ElmersTrueLove wrote:
MagicMeerkat wrote:
I just came to a realization recently that I could never work at a zoo that had meerkats unless I was the one caring for them. Zookeepers don't exactly get to pick the animals they take care of. I would feel too much resentment for the person who DID get to take care of them. Resentment that would very quickly turn into pathological hate. I'd also probably have issues with the person running the zoo telling who knows jack s**t about meerkats compared to what I know. I could always just move to another country and work in one of those animal cafes. There's in in South Korea that has them and the employees do know basic English. Or I could just move to South Africa and work at a wildlife rehabilitation center. Working at a zoo isn't as hands on as they make you think. They don't even let you touch some animals. And wonder why people don't care about saving said species. Some people are tactile and nothing gets through them unless they can touch it. With the whole hand, not two fingers. (Doesn't seem like the animal enjoys being touched with two fingers either. I've seen some people literally jab them with two fingers.)

I don't like to share my special interests. No one wanted to listen when I was willing to share. When someone asks me about meerkats I usually give them the vaguest answer. Yeah, at a zoo, I couldn't talk to the public about them either. "Go watch that f*****g new show/movie you love so much if you want to know so bad! You didn't want to hear about them before that show came out! You only pretend to be interested because of that stupid show/movie!"

But anyway, do you feel possessive of your special interests? Like your the only person who can talk about them or have anything to do with them?



PS. Axolotls are to me what meerkats are to you. They're my little niche, as someone here described it.

Image




:heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: I LOVE axolotls. Maybe not as much as meerkats or as much as you do but they are one of my favorite little animals.


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